May 5, 1991

Samuel: Hello, dears.

Hello, Samuel.

S: Jet lag. All right, for those of you who have been experiencing the challenge of our last gathering like this—and I said that I’d want one or two gifts just to hear about how you are doing in regard to that specific fast. I’d like to hear two gifts. All right.

What am I talking about?

Giving up television.

S: That’s right.

[…] five weeks, and…

S: Puts her in the third group, eh?

Physically I feel much calmer. I think that I really noticed a difference in my sleep patterns, because watching television until I fell asleep made my dreams and my sleep patterns very different, sort of wakeful and all that. And I thought that was just the way that I was, but I realized that for the last how many years I’d fallen asleep with it on, and that made a real difference in the way I sleep, and how rested I feel.

S: Does that make any difference in your being more rested in the rest of your life?


S: Oh, goodness, does it? How about that!!

I started watching a program Friday night for the first time in five weeks, thinking, What have I missed? and all that. And I was really very bored with it. I didn’t even finish watching it. I’ve watched a lot of television.

S: Is it possible that the reason that you got bored with it was because somehow you started awakening all those sleeping brain cells again, and now they’re just not satisfied with baby food? Possible.


S: What was it you were watching?

I’m ashamed to tell you.

S: That’s all right. Let’s not do that.

It was the last episode of Dallas….

S: Good for you.

Last night in Atlanta I spoke with the assistants, those who are actually making Atlanta happen, and I challenged them with three months. Anybody here who took on that challenge, anybody feel like you enjoyed it so much that you don’t care if you ever watch again? No? One or two.

I gave up television quite a while ago, because I enjoyed life so much more. Except for little times with my daughter, I’d give up….

S: Amazing what that can do for you. Frank, let me turn your raised hand from my request into a gift. Tell me, how is it for you?

[Frank:] It’s great. I’m finding myself much more productive. I often find my evening and late evening time is when I get a lot of my personal work done, a lot of my personal studies. I’d gotten into watching a lot of TV, and that work had stopped. It had slowed down, and as I watched more TV it stopped, and I see it picking back up, and my life is being filled with one thing and another. More …

S: Computer games!

The reason that I shifted the gifts to be around that specific request was because it was centered around will, and, if you remember, last month brought to you the gift of will—or willfulness. You are now preparing yourself for the second Wesak, however, and that’s the Wesak of Love/Wisdom, and what you’re going to be finding is the energy coming through to this next moon, culminating at that moon, is going to be challenging you in regard to your relationships. And so, because of that, I wanted to take this night, rather than to give you a lot of information about Love/Wisdom, about Christ consciousness, about the Buddhic return and such things as that, I wanted to talk to you specifically about relationships—relationships because, in the cycle opening now of right living, relationships are the way that you judge yourself as to how you’re doing and how you’re doing it.

So what I have set up and hope we have are a few keys to right living. And I want to direct your attention to that this night.

Before we begin, though, I want to warn you—literally warn you. This next month is going to be extremely active, very active. You are going to find yourself examining your inner self more than usual, and for those of you who tend toward a lot of self-judgment, be easy on you, will you?

Love/Wisdom, because this is—all right, here it comes—the most powerful Wesak that this planet has experienced to date, because you’re at a greater state of awareness than you have been to date, aren’t you?—because this time, of an outpouring of love, which is attached to second Ray life quality, which means experience to turn that knowledge into wisdom, is so powerful at this time. What that is saying in laymen’s terms is that over this next month you’re going to be finishing up what you’re here to learn about: loving. What you’ve started and not completed is going to come up, and you’re going to become very aware.

Love is active, not passive. And for those of you who have awakened to what you’re really about, you have found that one of the frustrating things about this experience is that you love and it doesn’t seem that the world loves back in quite the way that you love, that what you put out isn’t as returned in the strength that you put it out. And that causes some of you to get angry or bitter, or non-forgiving—some of you to become frustrated, depressed.

Love is an action; action is based on thought; thought is directly hand in hand with intent. You choose to love. You choose when you are not loving. It is a time when you are going to see the choices you are making. You’re going to see your petty prejudices show up. You’re going to see where you have expectations that stop you from loving. One of the greatest things that stops you from having that balanced flow of love and being loved is your expectations. And you’re going to see your expectations.

Quickly—an expectation is … that time when you think this ought to be happening.

Impatience is when you think this ought to be happening right now.

Sabotage is when you think this ought to be happening right now, and you pout because it’s not.

When you put out love, it creates a relationship. Love in form—pure love—is what this total life experience is about, and therefore it is the key to right living.

Tonight what I’m giving you is the handbook you didn’t get born with, the one that tells you, if you do these things, you’ll be able to experience what you’re here for. Now, isn’t that what you’ve been wanting? But let me warn you: This information comes hidden. It comes hidden because it comes across as extremely simple. And if you only judge this world by superficiality—is that a word—or if you only judge this world by what you’ve accomplished so far—that was a threat—then you’re going to find that nothing that’s said here tonight is particularly new, and it’s not. If you go beyond the head and start listening with your heart tonight, you are going to be able to turn everything that’s said into a personal statement of your life, because only by doing that are you going to be able to change to make your personal life the best it can be. If you don’t see you in all of these keys tonight, you’re not listening with your heart. This is a gift tonight, to help take you to that moon of Love/Wisdom, to move you beyond this time into the opening that’s coming at the beginning of your next year. This is the way to begin purifying yourself in mind and deed in such a way that you can be one of those numbered, creating the opening of early January next year.

Let’s get going. Stuart, you’re a very good distance away. Can you read this?


S: Can you read it easily?


S: Loudly? Clearly?


S: Good. Go for it. It starts with line 1, which says …


S: The first thing that you need to know is that these are not in numerical order of priority. If that were the case, every one of these should be number 1. Number 1, number 1, number 1, number 1, and so forth. And so, although you know in your life—and those of you who are convinced right now I’m talking right to you—you know that in your life your issue is commitment. It works in a flow with all of these others. So the very first key, for the purposes this night toward right living—but remember, we’re talking about relationships. Let’s move this into relationships, because that is how you judge your life. “People don’t like me. I must be no good.” “Oh, I have a lot of really good relationships. I’m very happy with how things are going. I must be all right.” That’s how you judge yourself.

As you are working in relationships—and as this night we are working in relationships—I want you to remember that this is relationships of all sorts: your business; your personal; your family. All of your relationships, all of your life, are affected by these seven imperative factors. Some of them are things you can do to enhance a relationship; some of them are things you do to absolutely sabotage, to make sure you never have to have a relationship.

And it begins with commitment. Now, I wonder where that goes. Do you think that goes under things I do to make things better or things I do to make things worse? Sabotage or salvation?

It depends on what you’re committed to.

S: Very good. Peggy very wisely said, “It depends on what you’re committed to.” In every relationship, the thing that you need to know is, what’s going on here. What is it that’s wanted in this, and am I committed to it.

Commitment does not mean—hear this, darlings, hear this—commitment does not mean, “David, dear, can I spend the rest of all my lives with you?”

[David:] One day at a time.

S: Exactly. That’s it. You can’t commit for the rest of your life, can you? And it’s that very natural human response—that part of you that says, “I don’t know what’s happening tomorrow. Now, given my druthers, I’d rather my happily-ever-afters be with you, but I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. It’s because this society has taught you “till death do you part,” and you think that means physical death rather than mental or emotional death. It’s because this society tells you that once you have committed you have somehow superglued, never to be apart again. And something within you says, “Wait a minute, that’s not how I live. I live day by day by day, piece by piece by piece.” You therefore avoid commitment rather than allow yourself an honest commitment.

And the honest commitment is one that every one of you can do: “Based on who I am right now, I love being with you. I like this job. I’d stay in it forever—and I will—as we are growing and enjoying and completing like this.” You’re doing yourself a disservice to commit beyond that.

“I commit to stay with you while you are beating me up, hurting my esteem, and keeping me from any means of spiritual growth possible outside of this closet I’m in.” Oh, that makes sense, doesn’t it. But many of you won’t commit because you think that’s what you’re doing. Commitment means you are committing to the common goals that the relationship is based on, be that putting out the best work possible—there are many in here who can tell you, you can be doing the best that you can at work, but as things change in office politics, pretty soon you’re not able to put out good work anymore, because the total structure has changed. That happens now and again, and you can’t commit to that anymore. You can commit to the pension plan and the health benefits offered, I suppose, and that could allow you to remain not doing your very best. But you’re no longer committed to that original compact.

Think about a relationship that you’re in right now. What is the compact you have in it, what’s the focus? Are you committed to it? Can the compact change to give you a new commitment, one that you can work with? Your life needs commitment. Your life needs commitment to shine your shoes once a week, as well as to work toward another’s growth and joy whom you love and want to spend your time with.

Commitments are those things that bring success on a consistent basis to your life, and that’s what lets you feel good about you—commitment is the key there.



S: Creativity. I want you to remember quickly that creativity is the highest use of the mind. The mind works on three levels. First you have your basic brain. Sounds like a T-shirt coming up, doesn’t it?—”This is your brain; this is your brain in Hawaii”—something like that.

Nonetheless, [it is] your thinking process, the way that you learn, the way that you continue your whole growth cycle through that learning. It’s also your emotions, which are your beliefs, which are the way that you tend to judge how you’re thinking at any given time. Anybody ever had the experience where your emotions clouded your thinking? Lets you know which is boss, doesn’t it? The first level is how you think; the second is how you act when you think—your emotions.

The third level, the highest level of mind, however, is creativity. You cannot know how often—unless you get together and chat about it now and again—I sit across from you and beg you, “Use your creative self. What’s happened to your creative self? Come now, you’re such a good artist. You’re a writer, you’re a painter. You’re such a good problem solver. Why aren’t you using that?” Why do I do that? It’s because I like to whine. It’s because humanity has taught me that whining works, so I whine at you, and you respond. Right? That’s the reason, don’t you think? Nay, that’s not the reason. It is because the creativity is the doorway, the portal between the physical self at its highest level and spirit at its entry into form. It is the transition point. The more creative you allow yourself to be, the more ability spirit has to use you, the more contact you have with your higher self, the more touch you have with the spirit.

So what is creative? Well, I ask you what’s not, if you put your mind to it. What did you have at dinner tonight—or do you call it supper here? What did you have for your last meal? Do you remember? Was it creatively put together?

Never mind. Point made.

What is creative? We’ve gone through this. It’s not new. You can come up with all manner of good things. What are you doing for your creative self? If you don’t know what your creative self likes to do, then I ask you to give yourself a listing of all the things you think might be fun. “I’d like to write poetry, to paint, to sew, to make music, to make music videos, to … all manner of things. Give yourself a month of every day—if no more than five minutes—every day doing one of those. This month it’s going to be five minutes of writing every day. Next month it’s going to be five minutes of playing with chalk and color. Every day, and you will find—because you are developing something—”I’ve been thinking of screaming to get out, anyway”—you will find developing within yourself your highest creative talent, and you will find, if you do not squelch it by too much self-judgment—that you find which one or two are your best to move with.

Then work consistently. You’re not doing this because you’re going to be some famous painter. You’re doing it because it opens the door. It’s the balance point between your physical and spiritual self, so do it for you, but do it.


S: Let me back off on that one. But how does creativity fit within a relationship?


S: Good! All right, you’re broke, but you’re in love. Sound familiar? Whatever can you do in this time if you’re broke and in love, but you want to do things together? Well, one thing is you’re going to get creative, aren’t you. Creative, as Kerry said, about those things that you enjoy doing, things that you can do together.

All right, group, help everybody her now. What are some things you can do?

Take a walk.

S: Sounds like fun. I’m trying to get people to take walks all the time. Most of the time they won’t do it. Taking a walk might work. Maybe you need to put a little bribe on that walk. You walk fifteen minutes earlier and drop a bag of candy on the sidewalk, or something like that, so all of a sudden as you’re walking along, “Oh, look at this gift. How nice!”

What else?

Play music together.

S: Aye. Jam.

Go to an art show.

S: Good. Soak in some beauty, or at least a few good laughs. Aye.

Fly kites.

S: Aye. Might rank up there with walking, you never know. Careful about these things that require physical exercise.

Give a massage.

S: Aye. That could get a relationship going, couldn’t it?


S: Talk while you walk.

Go to the library.

Cook together.

S: Good. The food people have spoken. Good.

Talk about your dreams.

S: All right, dears, let’s get creative here, all right? This is pretty sad. Is this town so boring? You’re not going to get together and cook, because then you’ll stand over the sink and eat it like usual. [Laughter] That’s how most people eat, don’t you? You stand up. You don’t sit down. You stand up, you pull it out of the microwave, you just pull the box open and you stick a fork in it. You think somebody’s not been watching?

Have friends over, and everybody bring something different.

S: Maybe everybody cook together. Create small parties in your life. Let’s celebrate Monday. Oh, boy, it’s Monday! Good! Come up with celebrations. Throw miniature parties. Celebrate the squirrels. Go do something different. Don’t walk in the park. Go walk in the park with handfuls of bird seed and old bread crumbs, and see if you can entice the squirrels up to you. Play together. Go to the museums; go visit the shows. Go talk to somebody that just walked out of a movie. See if that’s satisfying. Go to the local university music production. There’s so much you can do. Get creative. Creatively communicate with one another. Put creativity into that. Make it fun.

When you put your mind to creating a fun experience, you have fun.



S: Control. All right, here we go. Which one is this, sabotage or salvation? Can be both. Controlling yourself is salvation. Working to control another is your sabotage. Control issues—the looking to create a situation that will make you look powerful or make you feel powerful—entail making your coworkers, making your lover, making your friends feel without power. That’s why it doesn’t work. Control your issues of control, will you?

Control your mouth. I mean that. Talk to somebody and try not to talk about when you did the same thing better. Talk to somebody and really try to find out what they’re about.

For you food people, this is one of the form’s interesting tricks. You remember back when you used to eat fairly normally, you know, like the world does. Back when you ate sugar and preservatives and meat and things like that. You remember those days. What was your favorite thing to eat? Do you remember? [Pause] I need help here; I don’t eat. Do you remember chocolate ice cream? Some of the people here remember that very recently. Do you remember chocolate ice cream? How do you eat ice cream?

In a cone. You lick it off.

S: You do? You like it best in a cone? Why? When was the first time you had chocolate ice cream in a cone? What makes you think of it as the best?

I was probably a small child …

S: Stop. You get my point? You connect with something, and then you take somebody through it. Control your need to talk about you. Control your need to give out your precious opinions. Control your need to control the lives of others.

Gwendolyn, because I know you’re going to hear this, wherever it is you are, whenever you come back to us, I want to tell you that one of the form’s most pleasant things to do with Muffin is sit down and talk about what you should do in your life. Control your need to control others’ lives. And, although I’m using the form for an example because it makes you laugh, because you can feel off the hook, you’re not.

Control your emotions—except the ones that are upbeat and happy. All right, so what, it is more honest to let people know you are miserable, but pretty soon nobody will be around to tell, because what that says is, “I’m a failure. I don’t know how to find something positive out of this. I don’t know how to increase my energy. I don’t know how to be active and alive and happy.” And people don’t bet on losers, unless it’s the Kentucky Derby. And then they do, don’t they? They want to be around winners.

Control your need to sympathize with everybody’s losses and your need to let everyone know exactly how much of a winner you are, and therefore how much of a loser they are. Find that balance.

Control. Control yourself. Don’t control others.


S: Character. Ooh, goodness. What in the world is character? Oh, you are a character. Oh, you have character. Oh, you express character. What is that saying?

An individual with character is the one who can do one thing—hear this—forgive. The mark of character is the individual who can forgive, because if you allow yourself to think of all that entails, then you can understand that that means you have developed all of those things that you tend to think of as character.

Now, what am I saying by forgive? Certainly I’m not speaking in the more traditional Piscean thing of, “You are forgiven. I’m sorry—I forgive you.” Which very often becomes simple rhetoric. When I speak forgive … Frank, you have a suggestion?

[Frank:] Not holding grudges.

S: Exactly. Exactly. Forgive means—you think he gets this stuff in other places—forgive, to forgive, forgiveness in a relationship—and maybe that relationship my soul, is with yourself—means that you choose not to let the past affect your present. And that takes character.


S: Clarity. [Exaggeratedly] That means you enunciate everything that you say very, very well.

It means you seek understanding. It means you don’t just present things in the way that’s best for you. You present things in a way that is best for those with whom you are working to communicate. Because, you see, to say “gadzooks” means very little now. To say “that’s bad” means more. To say “we are beings from another dimension here, in the shining time of a new age, working to manifest the greatest qualities of the Source in the lives of the downtrodden and the needy”—you’re going to remember why the New Age has such a bad name. But if you say instead, “I’m here doing the best I can where I am with what I have,” people understand, and that’s not hard.

Clarity means you’re paying attention to the language of your audience, and you’re giving it back. And, yes, you’re right, that means you’re going to have to work here to bring about understanding. But if you’re not understood, you won’t understand why you’re not understood. Did you get that? It was worth your fifty cents, that line. If you’re not understood, you won’t understand why you’re not understood. If in the way that you communicate people just don’t connect, they don’t get it, you talk above them, you talk below them, you don’t talk with them, you just talk—you are going to find yourself more and more alone, less and less happy, and considered more and more odd. You’re not going to be understood by those around you. And you won’t get it, because you’re doing the best you can where you are with what you have for yourself, instead of for the highest good of yourself and all involved. Big difference. Big difference.

Clarity begins with clear thoughts, moves into clear words, is backed up and proven by clear action.


S: Communication. Well now, we’ve been talking quite a bit about communication, haven’t we? A lot of what we’ve said has been how to speak, how to get in with somebody, how to be at the level they’re best at. But remember what communication is made up of—communion; communion. Your relationships wither—wither—like unnourished fruit, because they’re not nourished by communion.

You forget how to talk. You remember the beginning of a love affair, how you just can’t talk enough? What is it that happens? You’ve just talked it out, you’ve done your official quota of talk, and all of a sudden you’ve run out, and you’re not saying anything anymore? Although I will choose not to repeat it, Marta does have a pretty good joke about what happens in the stages of communicating in a marriage. Just change the words to “talk” instead, okay. Maybe won’t be quite as effective. Don’t tell it. Just ask her about it later.

You start out talking. You talk about your childhood, your dreams, your joys, your love. You talk about what’s good; you talk about what’s not good. You talk about politics. You talk about the weather. You listen. You listen and learn. You share. You touch. And then, down the road, when you’ve stopped touching and your life has whittled down to a few safe subjects, you wonder why there’s just nothing there anymore. You can revitalize any relationship with communion—communication.

The Christian service has a ritual called Communion. It is an act done in remembrance of the life of Jesus, and it is a means through which the participant takes on a bit of that life—in the long run, that’s what’s going on. Do you know that that’s what you do with those in your relationship. By your choosing to communicate, you are remembering the best of them, aren’t you? “I remember that you are somebody who has so many wonderful things to say, I want to listen to you. I remember that you are somebody who teaches me. I want you to talk to me. I remember that you are somebody who’s a lot of fun. I remember the best of you. What can I do to bring that communication back.” Stop talking helps. Touching helps.

Although I’m not sure that it’s an exercise that’s good for groups such as this, sitting so primly in your Sunday night posture, being very spiritual beings, listening to one another, I might challenge you to do it to the next person that would agree—as soon as possible: to sit and, for a minute, no words, just look into one another’s eyes. No expectations, no thoughts. Just look—look. Do it again a second time, and think thoughts of love. Just look; don’t say anything.

Part two is to close your eyes and look at that same face with your hands, to just touch, but have your eyes closed. Feel it … with your hands. Very personal, isn’t it—because you are communicating yourself, you’re making yourself vulnerable. You’re risking. Good for you.

And, because you don’t do it often—and the reason you don’t do it often is—you wondered?—is because there’s a part of you that knows your very thoughts are censored by your touch, and so you avoid touching people, lest they know what you’re really about. What a sorry waste! You can do that exercise twice, also. The first time, simply through the touch—wakes up the whole sensory system. The second time, thinking love.

This exercise changes things, changes things. And you’re not even using words.

And …


S: Ohh … after all that nice warm, fuzzy stuff, here comes criticism. Criticism, as a key to right living. Goodness, however could that be? Criticism does not mean you are being critical—ideally, it does not mean you are being critical. It means you are being discerning—discerning. There’s a big difference. What’s the difference?

You’re aware of what’s going on.

S: Which?

With discernment.

S: That’s true.


S: Attitude. That’s true. And intent.

One is observation, one is judgment.

S: Good.

[…] positive and negative.

S: There is a difference between a positive and a negative giving there. And that’s right; I’m going to talk about that.

Critical means blaming another person. Discerning means you’re […] and telling the other person what your parameters are and what you would like from them.

S: To be critical means you’re working toward the highest standard, but you’re working together toward the highest standard. And so you are discerning between what is and what is not needed to bring that about. It has everything to do with action and little to do with the individual.

Criticism says, “Boy, are you a mess!” But the proper use of it is a constructive building which says, “You have so many activities in your life that seem to dilute what’s going on here. What can we do to make the flow easier?” That’s a big difference.

“Well, I’m not going to give up any of those activities.”

“Is there anything we can do to….” You’re looking for constructive here. Criticism that’s constructive is a discerning choice toward the highest and best which both agree on. But again, that requires communication—a commitment to the compact.

Criticism in the old mode, in which you’re not constructive at all, in which you take potshots at self-esteem, the old mode of criticism is a power play, even when it’s funny, even when you’re just joking.”

“Just trying to help you.”

S: “Just helping. Wanting to let you know what nobody else would, but since I’m your friend….” It’s power, control. You have a need, because, unlike anyone else, you can see these things, because you’ve got the big picture.

A critical attitude kills a relationship, and criticism can kill a relationship, unless it is constructive, not aimed at the individual, but at actions that are impeding the predetermined progress toward the focus that relationship is working on.

Now, you know, these seven keys don’t seem like such difficult things, do they? Do you notice anything of interest about them?

[They all begin with] Cs.

S: Aah. Aye?

They seem to me like lessons to learn about play again.

S: How to play again. Oh, I like that. Oh, very good. Get clear; get creative; get your controls.


If we learn to sail the seven “Cs”, our lives will be better. [Mixed groans, laughter and applause]

S: Sailing the seven seas in your relationships; right. How can you do anything but love a group like this? Aye, that’s very good.

This is the big C; that’s what it is. It is those specific actions you can take on physical, mental, and higher levels, that actually work. And how does it work? Unless you’ve been writing down some of the things the groups has been suggesting, you might not remember all of the things that were said in regard to commitment. You might not remember everything that was said about communication. You could memorize the transcript. Get the tape. That’s right, Paul, you could get the tape. That would do it. Play it all the time. You could do that.

But, you see, the reason that this works is that they’re cues for the mind. They’re cues. And what will happen is, it changes your consciousness, opening your own awareness into not only what has been said this night, but you’ve gleaned through all of your wisdom, here and elsewhere, [so] that when you’ve put out each day for the next seven days—as your focus—one of these specifics—”Today I’m going to be aware, conscious of my commitment and opening myself to learning about where I am with commitment and what I feel about commitment and where I need to commit and where I need to not commit”— and you put a dot on your hand, so every time you see it you think of it, or you set your watch to beep at you once an hour, so that you’ll stop and say, “All right, let’s think commitment.” Or you … what? What do you do to fool yourself into remembering things? You put your shoes on opposite feet. That would do it, don’t you think? Every step, you’ll think commitment.

What do you do? Toss out a few ideas. Help one another here.

There’s a little place right here in your hand, I put a little … with one of these marker pens, a little letter, reminding me what it is.

S: And it might be C.


S: Boy, that’s going to be a help, isn’t it?

Different colors.

S: Have a different color each day. That might work. Aye.

A note on your refrigerator door.

S: And if you visit your refrigerator quite a bit, you’ll think of it quite a lot. Aye. You might have a place you visit more often than the refrigerator that might be more effective for you.


S: Good. What else might you do?

Wear your watch on your other wrist.

S: That’s very good. Put your watch on your opposite wrist so that every time you do that [looking at the watch] you remember. You’ll think about commitment.

Every day for the next seven days, challenge yourself to take one of these cues to change you, for a conscious life. You see, that is the only way you’re going to be passionately, deliriously happy here. Not happy, but HAAAAPPYYYY! Wouldn’t you rather have that? It works like this.

Give it to yourself. Good. Because, you know, if it doesn’t work, you’ve not risked anything. At the very least, you’ll be where you are now. But if it works, the changes pure happiness makes in you will not only affect you, but they will help change this world. And, you know, that’s really what you’re here for, isn’t it. You know it. So bring it into your life. Get happy.

All right. Zatit, my souls. Happy, happy trails.