The Freedom And Joy Of Reconciliation

October 5, 1997

Samuel: […]

Greetings, Samuel.

S: Aye. Well, has it been good for you?

Oh, yes.

S: Aye. How so? How so?

I’ve been having a lot of fun lately.

S: Aye?

Yes, I’ve gotten out and just enjoyed myself.

S: Why?

Because I chose to.

S: Well said. Well said. Have you ever had a time in your life when you did not choose to? When you actually knew that you were making a choice not to have fun. Why? Why?

Because of the learning it brought to me.

S: Because you knew this was not going to be fun, but it would be worth the effort anyway for that learning? Are you talking big picture? As you look back now, you can see … aye, well that’s always to do it, but it’s cheating.

For me, I chose it because that was so familiar. And that was what I knew, and that’s the way everything was always done until I learned a different way to see things. And then I could see the other choices that were there.

S: Aye.

Then I could choose something different.

S: So many things that you do in your life you do because it’s the way you’ve always done it. You’ve invested so much in that system that it costs too much, and it may not be money that it’s costing you. It costs too much to change it. What sort of things like that go on in your life? That the habit is there, even when the thought is not necessarily. And of course with a group as powerful and spiritual as you are, I’m sure you’d have to just make up a few of those. Perhaps it could be this sort of situation:

Happens to somebody else.

S: Somebody else might have it this way. What are the sorts of things like that.

Staying in a job that you’re unhappy in.

S: Perhaps staying at a job you’re not happy with any longer. Or maybe even going to one to begin with. The direction is one that everyone in your family has done for generations so you must as well. What’s another?

This sounds so familiar, I’ll go ahead and give an example. Except that was pretty much my example. But when you have holidays coming up, such as they are now, you’re in a real habit of, you know, Aunt Mary’s always going to say this, and Uncle So-and-so’s going to do this and then I’m going to get mad and then it’s going to be ruined. It’s a habit, and so you can change that habit and decide that you’re just going to give them the attention they need or not, or however your choices are.

S: So relationships—I’m going to take two out of that one—relationships that tend to function in the same old ways. That you know exactly how your lover, your partner, your aunt or uncle, are going to be responding, because that’s what they always do. Or holidays in which you always go to this house or you always prepare the meal or you always do it this way even when it no longer celebrates even the holiday. It just activates the unsolved, the unfinished, the unhappy. More.

I think that the whole thing comes under an umbrella of living within a belief system that limits us, that keeps us from thinking and keeps us from being creative, and therefore keeps us in a place of unhappiness.

S: Good.

Or in a rut.

S: But why would one choose that? Why choose a rut.

It’s familiar.

S: It’s known, and of course you know how it is. The known is always better and safer than the unknown, even if the known makes you pretty miserable. And so that’s what creates a rut. The familiar that has no thought attached to it.

Where I’m going with all of this tonight has to do with making change. Could you guess? And since there are holidays that are coming up, I could slide a bit of holiday variation into it. What are the holidays that you have coming up?

Halloween.

Thanksgiving.

Christmas and New Years. Birthdays.

S: And why was I thinking things like Yom Kippur? And Holy Mass Day. And Heidi’s and Cathy’s birthday. Major holidays! And every one of them has something in common, even if you go so far as Thanksgiving and the Festival of Lights and Christmas and New Year and World Healing Day and so forth. What is an element in common with all of these?

Tradition.

S: Tradition works, but it’s not where I’m going.

Celebrations.

S: Again.

Celebrations.

S: Yes, absolutely right there. They all involve, in one form or another, a celebration, and they all involve different forms of that celebration. What’s the difference between the celebration at Halloween and the celebration at Thanksgiving? Please tell me you can think of something.

Your family.

I don’t get presents at Thanksgiving.

S: Will somebody here volunteer to change that one for her? Kay says she will.

They all have different themes.

S: Themes. Themes. All right. Themes. Go for it.

Well Samhain or, depending if you all think about Samhain as a Celtic tradition, but Halloween in the Western society tradition, is an honoring of our ancestors, the dead, whereas Thanksgiving is in our tradition the Pilgrims and the Indians being in harmony, and family coming together to break bread, so it’s two different themes of celebration.

S: Actually, if you’d allow yourself to look at it with just a slightly askew view, can you see how the way that you celebrate Halloween and the way you celebrate Thanksgiving are really just alike? Both of them have to do with threats that if you do not fulfill them you get treats? Is that right, how it goes? Trick or treats?

[…]

S: It’s all turkeys?

In one you dress up like one, and then you’re trying to eat one.

S: In one you dress up like one, and in the other you eat one. I definitely did not have that one in mind.

[…]

S: Or with them. And where I’m going with all of this is that there are so many things in your year and in your lives that you’re celebrating, and so very often those celebrations are not at all based on what actually is going on, the energy of the event, but instead what surrounds it with those that you celebrate or do not celebrate it with. That the celebration becomes an act of habit, and therefore you lose the gift that it can give you. And how many things like that do you have in your life? How many relationships like that do you have in your life? That the habit has created the standard. And as a result of those habits, they either are or are not celebrations.

Can I add one more observation, because when certain expectations you have as a result of a tradition …

S: Good.

… are not fulfilled, that’s why many people get in almost a funk or a depression, because of what they would consider maybe unfulfilled expectations of that holiday.

S: Unfulfilled expectation fits very, very well in there. And let me go with that one just a bit.

The expectation which says, here is what is going to happen, here is how father will behave, here is what we are going to eat. This is the traditional, comforting, happy, unhappy meals of experiencing this event. And then when the expectation is not met, it requires an immediate scurry to security, doesn’t it? Now somebody explain what I mean by that, please. Scurry to security because an expectation is not met. What’s that about?

You go back to your old habit pattern.

S: That’s very good. Very good. Immediately move back to the old habit pattern. Your father has not said what you thought he would. You did not have the same foods you thought you should. So what do you have to do? You have to say, Where are the sweet potatoes? What do you mean you don’t think this. Aren’t we going to have our typical political argument this meal? Because something has gone wrong. You’re insecure with it, sure. Go further.

To not respond … to respond to that in a scurrying away is just avoiding change.

S: Avoiding change. Of course none of you have ever done that, have you?

Well, then, on the flip side of that you could for the first time maybe serve sweet potatoes to someone and think, Oh this time I’ll serve sweet potatoes to Petunia, and for once she’ll embrace me with open arms because she’s never done it before. And, of course, Petunia acts to you the way she always does, and then you can go back and say …

S: [in whining voice] I did everything I know to do and it did not work. Aye, that’s right, she’ll never like me. Give me the New Age version. She has a real problem, it’s not me!

All right, I’m going to back up a bit, because you’re connecting into the place I’m going, and that’s all I was wanting for there, and now I’m going to go there. I want to talk to you tonight about one of the things that makes your holidays, that makes your experiences in life, that indeed makes your relationships work, and if you were to say to me, “Samiel, is there one thing, one attitude, that I could take on that would really make a big difference in my life?” and then because you know how to ask questions of me, you would add, “And if there is, what would that be?” I would use this word, because I’m wanting to fit it in with the holidays that you have coming about, and really was wanting to fit it in with the energy of the one that you’re in the midst of right now—why is that? What is it about a holiday that makes it worthwhile slipping in and having you make a connection to? Why? Why?

Because the energy’s already there.

S: Good. Good. Because the energy is already there, because if the whole world says that tomorrow is the celebration of all happy dogs, aye, even if just a large part of the world says it’s the happy dog day, it’s that there are so many that are putting forth that belief that allows you something to hook into. It’s sort of the danger of votes, isn’t it? You celebrate mothers one day a year, fathers one day a year, the birth of Christ one day a year. Obviously it’s not the day that has the magic, is it? It’s those who have come together with an energy, an energy of celebrating with love.

Right now you’re going through a very large celebration for a very good portion of your world. What is it?

Yom Kippur.

S: Soon. Yom Kippur soon. Right now?

Rosh Hashanah.

S: And what is that about? What are those holidays about?

Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year.

S: Good.

And Yom Kippur is the day of atonement.

S: Aye. Any other New Years coming up any time soon?

[…]

S: All right, that’s a good one. And …? Your own calendars. Aye. And what about Columbus Day? That is as well, isn’t it?

Yes.

S: How? If you say yes, tell me how.

Discovering the new world.

S: A discovery, an opening, a new thing. How does a day of atonement, a new year, a new year, a new year, and a discovery all fit together.

They’re all ways to start over.

S: Good. Absolutely. Good. The word is reconciliation. And that’s what I want to talk to you about tonight. Reconciliation.

You have in front of you by way of mass consciousness from many different directions, an awareness by many people right now of a need to clear the slate, to become aware of what has not worked and is no longer desired and to start new, clean, whole. You have a new year that, as the Celts expressed it, was the opening into winter, the time of going inward to renew, to refresh, to be able to grow again. And then you have your own New Year, which is a time of making goals and envisioning what you’re going to be doing. And of course in the midst, sprinkled throughout all of those, you have Columbus, and you have many other holidays that in one way or another can also be used for the very same thing—to express a new beginning which you need.

And I said that the word that I was using was reconciliation. What is reconciliation? It is to reconcile. Thank you. We’ll get that out of the way now.

To bring together.

S: To bring together. All right.

To accept.

S: To accept. All right.

To make peace with the past.

S: I like that.

Start anew.

S: To make peace. Aye. Frank.

I’d say more of a bringing back together. Things that had been together that were separated, and bringing them back.

S: You can reconcile a checkbook. Aye? You can reconcile your past. You can reconcile within a marriage. And all of those are very different things. All related in one way. What’s the difference between reconciling a marriage and reconciling a bank book. Please tell me you know. And if you don’t, pay attention. Look at your own history of relationships there.

Agreement.

S: Yes. Yes. That works. Good. Agreement is in there. That agreement might be negotiated, by the way. Any of you ever negotiated your bank book?

Word that comes to mind directly with the check book is to balance it …

S: Good.

… in the same way of balancing the relationship back to a state of wholeness.

S: Well done. Well done. Yes. To bring balance in order to act. That is the purpose. And here is where the punch comes in. So many of you gentle, kind, loving, holy people who choose in your life to live love, who choose to follow a path that has you working at your highest ability, consciously, as often as you can consciously—that was the excuse at the end, did you get that?—you who sincerely choose to do, to be, the best you can be, to be in your moment, to learn your partnership with Source. You who recognize you’re not alone and who know that you are here to make a difference, who choose to serve this world with love, continue to have as you walk through the path of life these amazing roadblocks—trees blown into your way by the storms of life. And you don’t get it. Why? Why? I’ve done everything I know to do. I’m doing the best I can, where I am, with what I have at the time, and so therefore it cannot be. It must be the other person’s problem. You don’t get it. Sure I get it. I’m very conscientiously studying the teachings of the great teachers throughout history, and I’ve put them all together into a means of understanding the most infinite, magnificent secrets of this Universe, and I can quote to you all of the important teachings of the last five thousand years. I just can’t quite live it.

You’re doing you best to live love, and you’re still tired and sick, and broke and poor. And I made both of those two different things. Did you notice? Broke and poor. Two different things. And broke was not broken there. You still find yourself facing … facing what? Let’s see. What can we call them? How about the evils of the world? Or the pitiful experiences of mass consciousness. The difficulties of living in an unawakened world.

There you are living love, being your kind, gentle loving self, and you don’t know why there’s no intimacy in your life and no relationship that really makes a difference, because you know how loving you are. If you could just find somebody who defined it the same way you did, only then would it be better. You’ve come to remarkable and amazing awareness of what you’re about and what your beliefs are, and therefore you’re finally aware now of what your problems really are. It’s your parents fault! Or your schooling. It was your schooling. Or your ex-mate. Society. It’s society. They’re so narrow and intolerant. Or maybe you’ve learned one of the very best ones there is. I just … I just so admire the amazing dramatics that can come out of this next one, and that is, Oh no, Samiel. I know that none of that is true. Really all of the problems in my life are me. I’m just so unworthy and such a worm am I. I’ll just never get it, and I’m not good enough. It’s no wonder that I can just barely make it. I just don’t deserve anything better. I know in my true heart that I don’t deserve. That’s a real good one. That’s one of the better excuses, and a really, really good one for spiritual people, you see, because then it comes off sort of like humility. It’s not. I think sometimes that people forget that humility can come from an overblown ego just as much as conceit. In fact, they’re both fairly much the same thing. Being worse than anyone else fits right up there with better than everyone else. Very much the same thing. And it all becomes comparative judgment.

Where does reconciliation fit into this? Because what you’ve not done, and what creates the difficulty, is that you have not reconciled, brought that balance into your life. You’ve not reconciled what you are with who you are. You’ve not reconciled what you had with what you have. You’ve not reconciled what you think with how you live. And you have not reconciled as in—and this is the biggest one—you’ve not reconciled as in forgiving yourself and others.

Reconciliation or the lack of reconciliation is, bottom line—and of course you know that whenever I say that, that’s because it’s a very broad, thick-bottomed line, and it has many layers to it—reconciliation, bottom line, is why your life doesn’t work. Well now, don’t you wish that it really could be that easy a statement. There, you put it on a bumper sticker— “Reconciliation makes it work”—but as you have defined what the word means, now define how it plays out. Why is it that I can make a statement that outrageous. That reconciliation is the key, because what is required in order to have reconciliation?

Acceptance.

S: Acceptance, yes.

Gratefulness.

S: Gratefulness. All right. That’s in there too.

Forgiveness.

S: Forgiveness is absolutely in there.

Awareness.

S: Awareness. Good. You see it’s a very broad line. Getting broader all the time.

That awareness that what you were wasn’t your biggest picture and allowing yourself that acceptance and keeping that picture.

S: Very good. Yes.

Looking at the same thing with a new perspective.

S: Allowing a new perspective.

Sometimes compassion.

S: Compassion. Very good.

Letting go of old beliefs.

S: Letting go of the old. Good. How about love? Reconciliation requires love—and even when what you’re reconciling is your bank book. In the larger picture of what love is all about, you could even make it work that way too, but talking about your life and how it works on the path of higher consciousness, and saying to you boldly that it is your lack of reconciliation that’s causing the problems, I am saying ultimately that it is your lack of love. Unconditional love. Samiel! In fact, I think you’ve not noticed that we’re human in here, and humans are incapable of unconditional love. Do you believe that? You are only capable of unconditional love, because anything else is not good enough. In one form or another it is manipulation, because if your love is not unconditional then you’re saying, I did not feel good enough. I did not know you well enough. You did not behave well enough. Anything else is not love.

In your life over the next couple of months, mass consciousness is going to be inundating you with the energy of new beginnings. Of planning. Of opening doors. Of seeing with a fresh perspective. Of giving another try. All of those things that I’m sure we’ll talk about more than once, and that will have absolutely no effect on you as long as you are wandering around with the weights of your yesterdays, of your past beliefs, of the chances you did not take, of the chances you did take and wish you did not, of the little hurts, of the angers. The greatest gift you have is your humanity, and the greatest struggle you have is your humanity. And the gift that it is to you is because you are capable of unconditional love, and the struggle you have is because you do not do it. How would your life change if first you reconciled yourself to the fact that you are capable of unconditional love? What do you need to reconcile in order to have a fresh start?

The words were acceptance, and forgiveness, and awareness, and for every event in your life—and hear this one, this is a big one, two years of therapy right now. Ready?—For every event in your life that is unreconciled, that being is stuck there. You’re not moving forward, you’re leaving half of you behind in the past, in the trash, in what did not work. Or worse, maybe back there in what did work. That’s a real scary one, you know, to not change because things are going so well. To not let go of who you were because it was so good. It worked when I was fourteen! You see that one a lot in singles bars, don’t you? The same tricks that worked in high school. Sort of pitiful, isn’t it? Still not working, but the glaze of age has made you forget that it did not work then.

So there you were being the typical eleven-year-old, becoming strong enough to exert your independence and maybe doing a few things that to this very day you’re ashamed of. Or maybe for you it was not eleven, maybe it was seventeen. Or forty-two. Maybe it wasn’t a thousand yesterdays ago, maybe it was one. Maybe it was done to you instead. Maybe that piece of you that you lost. The innocence, the delight. That happy child that you think is gone that you keep searching for, that wild toddler that really nobody liked but you, or that wise college student that you remember with such delight, and therefore you try to recreate so very often in your life. It can be just as damaging to hold on to your version of that day four years ago that was so perfect, and instead of using it as a reminder, you use it as an anchor to hold you in place, instead of reminding you of what’s possible. Both of those directions can hold you fast, because if it’s the eleven-year-old joy that you keep trying to recapture or the eleven-year-old’s shame that you keep trying to deny, both ways you are holding on so tight with both hands that that eleven-year-old self is remaining right there. And it’s not hard at all for you to go right back to that frightening place, because it’s one of the places that you’ve left your power. You’ve got to reconcile your past. And you’ve got to reconcile with it as well.

You’ve got to reconcile your past the way you reconcile a bank book, that is to allow it to find harmony, balance, a place where it works. And maybe it requires being the tiniest bit blind to the last two cents that you cannot find. That was for all of you who give your two cents worth. You’ve got to find a place of balance.

Now, out in the playground there is a wonderful life-example machine. It is the machine that is given to all children that go to the playground that they might remember this little mechanism so that for the rest of their life they will understand reconciliation. What is it?

Teeter-totter

See-saw.

S: Very good. How does it work?

You adjust the weight on each end to balance it so that it can move as you need it to move, or stop.

S: There is a central point on which there is a …

Fulcrum.

S: …board, maybe, and two children get on either end, and if the balance is good there’s a very lovely flow of up and down. If the balance is not good, if one has either moved too close to the center, meaning … oh, gracious, a lot of things one can do with that one, isn’t there? And while your mind and your heart play with all of them, I would not interfere, except to remind you that the see-saw teeter-totter works because there has been an agreement reached. The agreement is, We will find where it will balance. And that might mean you move a little closer in than the other and you won’t push too hard. You [end of tape] just as you do in life.

When you forget that there are three major agreements that you make in everything that you do, you lose your balance on that life machine. That every child knows. And those three agreements are the one you make with anybody else in the situation. You don’t make those agreements because you would rather believe that it’s going to magically happen on its own rather than doing that nasty sticky stuff of sitting down and working it out. Your checkbook doesn’t work that way; why do you think your relationships do? By magic it will just work itself out at the end of the month. How many of you—don’t raise your hand—do that version of reconciling your bank books? And how many of you have serious financial troubles because of it? Right.

Now you can raise your hand on this one. How many of you have learned the hard way that it doesn’t work like that? You see. I saw those fingers go up. With those others, agreements, reconciliations, finding balance, with those that are a part of the experience. If there is nobody that you can actually say is a part of the experience, then that must mean you’re dead. You know that, don’t you? You might still be physically alive, but you’re very dead, because there’s nothing you do, beloved ones, there’s nothing you do, even in the quiet of your own room there is nothing you do that does not have an effect on others.

The second agreement is with yourself. And these aren’t in a priority order—maybe backwards, if anything. You find yourself in difficulty because you forgot to find the balance in yourself. You forgot to talk it over. How often do you find yourself acting before you’ve thought it through? And how often has that one gotten you in trouble?

And as I spoke of just a moment ago, part of that reconciliation, negotiation, balance, agreement, that needs to be reached when you’re reaching it with yourself is the agreement you reach with your past selves. And if you want to be really good and airy-fairy about it, why don’t you make it with your future ones as well? If there is no time and there is no space, you can do that can’t you? What sort of agreement needs to be reached with those? With that eleven-year-old still in pain, with that forty- two-year-old that’s still holding grudges for this thing and that thing and still gets upset and has buttons that can be pushed, and all of the things that happen to make you sick and tired, because it does. Those are the weights that make you sick and tired and unable to function. They are the weights that are screaming so loudly to be released that you can hardly hear your own self, and that’s why you don’t know what it is you want, because you’re still hearing the voices of the eleven-year-old, and the two-year-old, and the thirty-year-old. The marvelous things that went on for the forty- year-old and the awful things that went on for the four-year-old, and it’s all the same because it has its hooks in you, keeping you from this moment.

How do you find agreement and balance with those aspects of you? Well, of course, what you do is you first deny and then you blame, and then you deny again. That’s always useful. And if you’ve denied it well enough, then you forget until something comes up that reminds you, but the forgetting can make you think it’s over, can’t it? And what a surprise, a few months later when somebody has the audacity to create a situation that brings it up in your life again. And then I hear, Samiel, I thought I’d worked through that one already. That ranks right up there with, Samiel, I had no idea that was an issue.

How do you reconcile with your own self? You do it just like the children on the playground do. You determine what the point of balance is and you see what’s needed to reach it. With the children on the playground, that means what is the strength and what is the weakness here, and then you compensate to allow for it. This eleven-year-old child back here that’s holding on to me so tightly seems to be very strong and powerful. It’s a very heavy weight on my life. Makes it hard to do the work I’m here to do, which is carry the world around on my shoulders. Aye? Therefore, maybe I need to lighten up if that one’s so heavy. Lighten up means a lot of things, and I’m not talking about finding a way to laugh. One very good thing that you can do with some of those horrendous experiences of your past is to lighten it up. Choose not to see it as so horrendous. That’s not an answer, but it starts you on the road there. If you believe that you’re not alone, if you believe that there is more, that there is purpose, if you believe that there is a connection to Source—and you say you do—then doesn’t it make sense that allowing yourself to recognize that maybe there is a pattern that being in human form keeps you from seeing might help? That’s a way to lighten it up.

You can work with some very good therapists with the purpose of letting go, reconciling. You can work with yourself, choosing to see the good that has been as a part of bringing balance. You can love into that past situation. You can forgive. Forgive does not mean understand. Forgive does not mean accept. You can forgive the other, the self, the circumstances of the time, the society as it knew it. Those are the things that bring about reconciliation.

The children on the playground have learned that now and again the person that you’re on that little machine with gets off too fast, and you land very fast right on your bottom and it hurts very much, and you’ll never get to play with that person again if you don’t forgive, and so in order to keep playing, to continue having fun, a child learns to forgive readily and well. It’s the adults who tend to forget that one, and then they wonder why they don’t play anymore. “Does not play well with others.”

And the third agreement [of] reconciliation is with Source, and how do you find the balance there? I think that the whole construct of God in today’s society has become simply an excuse. An excuse. Not a personal connection and relationship, but an excuse to not believe, to not have strength, to not reconcile. If there is a God, then why do these things happen? If Source cares about the world, if you do good things, then why am I still having these difficulties? You don’t have a relationship, you have a scapegoat. How handy. But, believe me, that’s not an agreement, and not a reconciliation. And that reconciliation goes two ways: Not only is it important for you to forgive yourself, to forgive others, to forgive your lack of relationship, but—here comes the big one, dears—to forgive your version of God. Really. I did not say to forgive Source, you know. I said your version. Why? Why? Why is that crucial?

[…]

S: Because what you believed is limiting. Sure. All right. Good.

It’s easy to blame all the hardships that you’ve had in your life on God not coming through for you.

S: Good.

And so there needs to be a balancing […]

S: But what I said was forgive your version for not being enough, for not being the white knight coming to the rescue, for not being what you thought it should be. In the very same way that you are able to forgive the child on the teeter-totter…. I love that word. Isn’t that great? Teeter—totter.

Especially the way you say it.

S: How do you say it?

Not with as much rhyme and …

S: Teeter-totter. In the very same way that you forgive the child that got up off the teeter-totter and you fell flat on your bottom, because you wanted to keep playing, you forgave. The very same way that you allowed yourself to reconcile the events in your past that you realize now that four- year-old did not understand the whole circumstance. That forty-year-old that was holding old grudges has his own difficulties.

Your willingness to forgive there in order to be free and have what really is possible is the same with your version of God, too. Aren’t you tired of having to deal with that angry, untouchable out there somewhere? That when you’re behaving properly, won’t hurt you, but if you’re behaving improperly, watch out. Are you ready yet to forgive God for being so willing to allow you to have a really rotten relationship in order that the time would come that you would want something more, something not so attached to old beliefs and expectations and versions of self? Something not so dependent on what you do, but more dependent upon who you are?

In everything that you do, there are three others involved. Other people, yourself and Source. And every one of those relationships requires a forgiveness of the beliefs that established what was. A release is what that means, a release of the old version of what it’s about or there is no new beginning. You get to stay in your cave nursing your pain, hopeless and helpless, without a partnership with others, without a partnership with yourself, and without a co-creatorship with Source if you must fit your world, your friends, your gods into a little box that says here is how it is.

Have you ever had an experience in your life, just one, any, in which what you got was so much more than what you thought you would get? Have you ever had that happen? Have you ever had an experience in which you were grateful that your beliefs weren’t accurate? Have you ever had a situation in which, much to your absolute delight, you were wrong? That much to your pure unbounded sense of love the past did not matter? Because there was in front of you fresh and new opportunity and hope? That comes with reconciliation. A willingness to allow the past not to be gone—don’t send me that—not to be released, but to be balanced. To be balanced.

You are not who you were five minutes ago. How could you possibly be who you were five years ago? Then why are you holding so very tightly to those attitudes, those beliefs, even when they wounded you? You have seen, in your life, situations in which what you thought kept you from all that could have been. You have seen situations in your own life in which your beliefs about what you deserved gave them to you.

It’s time, beloveds, because over the next couple of months mass consciousness is not simply going to be opening doors, it’s going to be taking a hammer and knocking them open out of the walls that have made you feel so safe for so long. It’s time for a new beginning. But when you use old stuff all you get is a different version of the old. And haven’t you had enough of those?

What would this world be like if your understanding of your past was in balance, if there were not those whom you held in pain and suffering, anger, meanness, to you or from you? What if you were reconciled with your own self, and whether or not you believed everything you had ever done was just fine—heaven forbid, all right—but you were able to find a place of balance for it? Oh, you’re slow tonight. To be able to see how it has worked to bring you to where you are right now. If nothing else, aware enough to move forward with a different attitude. And what would it be if your relationship with the Universe, Source, what if that one was reconciled? Can you begin to imagine? Oh, Samiel, that’s actually the only relationship in my life that is reconciled. Wrong! Because the first two are the symptoms of that one. Your function with yourself and your function with others is absolutely the picture of your function with Source. It shows, by the way.

And when you have had in your life an experience in which, after perhaps a long period of difficulty, you have worked on your checkbook for four hours, and finally balance. Or you’ve held a grudge for two years, and finally forgiveness. Or you’ve held onto this pain for a lifetime, and finally the freedom of release. You know that in your life. You’ve had experiences of that, here and there, on one tiny level or another. You know what it can offer. You know the opening it gives and the rush, the rush, the freedom, the joy, the delight. Can you imagine what your spiritual life could be like if you were not weighed down in an unhappy, grudge-filled, belief-stricken relationship? What freedom and joy that reconciliation could bring to you.

I pushed you very hard tonight, because this is not a little block in your way, it’s a big wall around your heart. In your life you need reconciliation. There are those that you can think about, unfortunately very easily, with whom you need to reconcile. There are experiences and there are parts of yourselves that you know—you know—and I promise you that over the next couple of days, you’ll know it very clearly too. And that’s going to open a door to the most important reconciliation you can give yourself.

You are here as an ambassador, a guardian, a piece of spit in the great cosmic sneeze. This world needs you, but not like this. It needs you balanced. Whole. Clear. And fairly weightless, because, beloved ones, it’s when you are weightless that you do your very best flying. And you and this world need to see you fly.

Glochanumora. Happy trails. Reconciled trails. Have fun.