May 21, 1995

Samuel: Well, greetings, dears.

Greetings, Samuel.

S: Do you love that part? I do. Just sort of sliding in at the right place and hitting right on the mark. Coming up and seeing all of your bright, glowing faces. That’s one of my favorite parts. Aye. Indeed.

I want to ask for something a bit different than the usual gift tonight. And that is, if you have been a witness to—either because you did it or it was done to you—if you have been a witness to a particular act of kindness—perhaps the person in the grocery had fewer [items] than you did and you allowed them to go ahead of you or something like that—I want to hear about it. Tell me about a particular act of kindness you witnessed. And what I’m after are several things, just as the reminder that there are very many kinds of kindness.


Today Kathleen and I were out here weeding and we’d gotten real tired and she had said that David needed some asparagus picked so in our great funk we went out and pounded on his door and he said, sure, gave us a couple of baskets which we proceeded to fill up as high as they would hold. And we gave David some because it was his deal, and then we gave a friend some asparagus who also likes it.

S: Aye. Aye?

Well, this morning I was on a walk and in Louisville it was raining this morning and as I started to approach a man’s house I noticed that he zoomed out of his garage and started around the front, and by the time I was passing his mailbox I realized that he was coming out just to get his newspaper that was lying on the ground, and so I thought well, maybe if I just pick his newspaper up he won’t have to get out in the rain if he thought it was so odious to begin with to drive his car out to do it, so I did and shook it off and handed it to him and he went around the circle and went back to his house.

S: Very nice. Very nice. Aye, darling? [to a child]


S: Yes.

Well actually it happened to me. One day I was going to the store and I was going to get a […] but I didn’t have enough money and a lady offered to give me a quarter to pay for it.

S: Oh, very nice. Yes. Very nice. Give me another. Aye, dear?

I was mowing my lawn; my neighbor has had surgery—brain surgery—she consequently had a stroke, so I told her I’d mow her lawn—they’re connected. So as I was mowing my lawn into her lawn I was reminded of Forrest Gump when he was running and he just decided to keep running. So I went over her driveway and into the third yard and mowed their lawn. The guy was like, what are you doing? I said, I just felt like I would keep going, so I kept going. So I mowed his lawn, came back, they couldn’t believe it. They had absolutely no clue as to why I was doing this.

S: Did you?

Oh, yes, I did.

S: Absolutely. Very nice. Aye, love.

Well, this morning I decided to treat myself to breakfast out, and I noticed that the waitress that was waiting on me was really sincere and was very good at her job, was trying really hard to do a good job. So when I left I tipped her three dollars.

S: Aye. Very nice. Aye.

Moving into my new house. My new neighbor, very kind people we had met them, just spoke to them, and went about mowing my grass one day, which was like a hay field in the front yard. So I’m going through with my mower. My mowers having a difficult time and I run the blade off the mower, and it dropped right in the middle of the yard. So I had a half-mowed front yard, and I had to stop there and proceed to fix it. So I had to go to Georgetown to get parts, came back, the front yard was mowed. The next door neighbor had mowed it for me […].

S: How does it feel to be the recipient of an unusual act of kindness.


S: How does it feel to be the giver of one?

The same.


S: There are few more sure and easy ways to a smile and a light heart than to keep kindness flowing. And at this time particularly, when it’s so very easy to be very caught up within, as when last time we spoke, to be sort of cocooned, at this time when it’s so simple because the world is changing so rapidly—and to many it would seem so far out of control—it would be so easy to have that feeling that it’s not worth the effort and to allow yourself a spiral of more and more frustrated, more and more depressed, more and more angry, more and more separated. And yet you can stop it with a simple, easy, easy, simple act of kindness. Giving a child a quarter, continuing in the mowing of your lawn—to delight your neighbors—even an extra large tip when somebody’s done a very good job. Sometimes just really big smiles, looking into the eyes when you walk along, exuding delightful energy, even that can be enough. It is an opportunity to share.

And very much what I’m talking about tonight is the ABC of being happy. And because it seems to be the let’s go along with it too, there is also an ABC of automatic heartbreak and difficulty. So, let’s get started.

Generally speaking when I have the opportunity to talk to you in private, usually right when we first start, one of the first questions that I will ask you is … who can guess?

How are you?

S: All right, all right. After how are you. Now, we’re talking in the beginning, when we’re first meeting. It’s an issue that I tend to bring up with all, and it is, what makes you happy? What makes you happy? And more often than not the answer that I get is usually something about like this: What is he wanting to know here, and how should I answer that? And can I answer it wrong?

Is that what you’re thinking when you’re doing that? For which my reply then is, Doesn’t that tell you something, when you’re unable to come up with an answer to that question quickly?

What is it that makes you happy?

More often than not that answer is missing, because you have spent so much of your life doing what makes other people happy—so that you will be accepted—that you don’t know what will make you happy. Or maybe it’s that you know what used to make you happy, but you’re not too sure of what makes you happy now. Or maybe you just don’t know. Perhaps it is that you have so many things to choose from that you’re not quite sure which to answer first, but that’s usually only after I’ve asked it to you two or three times.

What is it that makes you happy? And then when you are able to say, Well, I really enjoy doing my art work or I really enjoy exercising, taking my run around the pavilion, my question then is … who knows? When is the last time you did it? Are you doing it? Always followed with, why not? Always. Never fails. What is that saying? In this world, what is that saying?

That we put ourselves not first but last.

S: That personal happiness very often is put last on the list of things to do today. And why is that?

We don’t spend very much time really thinking about ourselves, because we’ve been taught that that’s selfish or self-centered or neurotic.

S: I would disagree with you, sweet love. Actually you spend a lot of time thinking about yourself; you just feel guilty for doing it.


S: And that, in that thinking about the self, it more often than not is not what could I do that would make me happy right now, it usually is what can I do to get by right now?

Speaking quickly, because this subject is a simple one, there are three basic things that you can do that, by finding a means to act out each one of these three broad categories, you can fairly well guarantee that you can bring not only happiness but that deep, heartfelt completion that happens when you are doing something that your soul enjoys.

And it just so happens that in your particular language that you can accept it as an ABC. Well, probably the most easy to say it would be “always be conscious.” And of course that would add a lot to it, but that’s not particularly the ABC I’m looking for here. Happiness. And once I have given an A then a B then a C, what I’d like for you to do is to either come up with other A’s, B’s and C’s or to give examples of what, in the real world, that A or B or C might be.

A is acceptance. The number one key to happiness in your life is your ability to accept where you are, who you are, what you are, and then the effect that that has in your world in being able to do the same thing with others. Acceptance is one of the hardest issues there are for the very thing that Joyous said, because so often you are taught not to think about yourself. That there are such things as selfish. You are trained to be judgmental simply in order to separate what you want and don’t want, and as a result—for safety means within the life—it tends to happen that acceptance gets cast aside and that only the highly intelligent are discriminating and it becomes exclusive instead of inclusive. Rejecting instead of accepting others. Their beliefs. Their ways of living, maybe because you’re not accepting you, and your beliefs and your way of living. Acceptance.

Give me an example of what might be acceptance, and then give me a couple of more A words.

I want to start out with the A word which would be agreement. By me understanding what another person, say Heidi, was experiencing, has experienced in the past, to see their perspective, to feel what they’re feeling. I also need to accept them in the difference, but also to agree with them to see, because it’s very common that I’ve had the same experience and feeling.

S: And so agreement as you are speaking it here is not a reference to “I believe the same thing you believe,” it is “I see what is like in what you are saying. I see where we have agreement, rather than so much focus on where we do not.” And that is a very powerful aspect of relationships and communication. Yes. Good one. More.

One idea of acceptance might be, maybe you’re on a team and there’s a person who’s not really good, you might well learn to play a game that maybe they can get better.

S: Yes. Sweet Luke, I do adore you.


S: Aye, that’s a good one. Another A word in there as he has just stated. It is allowing. Allowing. Anybody got another.

It’s not a real important one unless it’s missing and that’s acknowledging …

S: Well said.

…another person.

S: Yes. Yes. And how is it that one acknowledges another.

They can just listen. Acknowledge what they’ve said or what they’ve done. I don’t always do it myself, but if I’m not acknowledged it’s …

S: Have you ever had a conversation with somebody that while they’re talking to you, they’re looking around the room for the next conversation. That’s not acknowledging. Attentiveness is a part of acknowledging. Acknowledging might be as simple as making eye contact and perhaps a brief body language hello.


S: A response. A recognition. Perhaps its saying thank you when something kind has been done. Perhaps it’s sending a note to let somebody know you’re thinking of them, they’re on your mind even when they’re not in your line of sight. Absolutely. And all these fit under acceptance.

B … happy. As A is acceptance, B is beliefs, because your beliefs have a very powerful part [to play in] how you live your life. And understanding your beliefs at the moment has very much to do with your happiness. Bottom line is your emotions are a guide to your beliefs. If your beliefs are working for you, you tend to be happy, satisfied, accepting. If your beliefs are not working, you tend to be frustrated, angry, or maybe you have moved into denial altogether—depression, backed away. So how do you know what your beliefs are?

Look at emotions.

S: Well one certain thing could be follow your emotions, because any sort of strong emotion can be the doorway to go backwards into what the belief is. Why is it I’m feeling so happy? Well, I felt like this should be happening in my life, and sure enough now it is. I believed that if I did this thing, this would happen and it worked. Illustration that I often use is when you were four years old it was very important for the belief to be instilled in you that you needed to hold the hand of a responsible adult when you walked across the street. And that was very important when you were four years old. Now that you’re forty years and you’ve found that there are no responsible adults, you get really frustrated when you’re constantly looking for somebody to hold your hand. So along with your beliefs, once you’re discovering them, it’s also important that you give yourself the opportunity to see if they are beliefs that work in your life now, because one the quickest ways to eradicate happiness from your life, is to be living a life based on somebody else’s beliefs. Such as …

Your parents.

S: Maybe your parents. Maybe your teachers. Maybe your training in other areas. Or your beliefs that you developed after long years of experiencing life, finding out how things really work, and yet as you have changed you have not allowed them to change with you, so that the long awaited important skills and beliefs you created when you were twenty, finally making it out on your own, are not necessarily what you need at twenty-five, or forty-five or a hundred and five.

Furthermore, in regard to your beliefs, you can affect and change your beliefs, but only in one fashion. You never, ever, simply let go—it’s over, I don’t believe this anymore. That doesn’t work. Why doesn’t that work?

It’s deprivation.

S: That’s right. Because all of a sudden you’re deprived. I don’t get chocolate any more. From now on, no more chocolate. I believe that it’s not good for me and so I’m not going to eat it. And what happens?

A craving.

S: Never in your life have you ever wanted it more. Humans don’t work with deprivation. Anybody who’s ever been on a diet can tell you that’s true now, isn’t it? You don’t work with deprivation. You don’t simply let it go, you replace it with something. The Universe doesn’t like holes. And more often than not, when you simply say, I don’t need that belief any more, and you let it go and you do not consciously replace with an attitude you want to take on and bring into your life—I no longer believe it’s dangerous for me to stay alone at night; I’ve not stayed alone in a very long time, eons and eons, it’s very crowded up here—all right, I would wish, eh? And then you find, Well wait a minute, that’s not accurate. I don’t believe that. I do perfectly fine. If you only leave it at that, you’re going to find that the space gets filled, without your conscious, purposeful affirmation that says, I believe that I am perfectly safe wherever I go, in everything that I do, I am protected and cared for. If you don’t replace it, you’re going to find that you’re collecting all sorts of interesting, half-baked behaviors. Beliefs.

C. We have gone A, acceptance, B, beliefs. Somebody give me more B’s before I go to C.


S: Bless. I like that. Bless those around you, verbally and non-verbally. Bless them. Now give me an example of what that says. How do you bless somebody?

Build bridges.

S: Yes. By building bridges. Yes. Again that works with acceptance, doesn’t it? With allowing a beautiful connection to happen. Did you get that? Perhaps you might wish somebody something very well. Cathy, I hope that you have a very beautiful night and that it allows you to become aware of the beauty you are. Now that’s a blessing. Perhaps just simply making it your signature statement—loving blessings to you, ‘bye. Maybe it is an internal work, rather than an external one. That you imagine yourself holding a wand full of fairy dust and you imaginary-dust those around you. Or perhaps as a part of your morning meditation you’re asking the Universe that everyone who comes into your path be blessed by your presence. Blessing. What’s another B? Bridges, bless and …


S: And be bold. Yes. Be bold. Now, what do you mean by that?

Throw away the fear.

S: Throw fear aside. Be bold. However, some fears are good for you. Standing in front of subway trains when they are running is likely to get you killed. Be afraid of standing on the subway tracks. That’s a good fear. But there are fears in your life that are just running you down and sucking you dry. Boldness means stretching, not being afraid to risk, and you have no idea how rare that is. Most humans are so afraid of failure, taught from an early age that failure is intolerable, taught from an early age that failure means non-acceptance, taught from an early age that failure means rejection, often of love. Failure is unacceptable and therefore risk is impossible. But at the most basic, my friends, you wouldn’t have ever learned how to walk if sometime in your life you believed failure cut you off, because you learned as a child that it was by picking yourself up and moving onward that taught you to walk and gave you your wings to run with. Be bold. Yes.

Another B? Yes.

Best. Seeing the best in your situation or another person.

S: Seeing the best in another. That works very much with allowing yourself to be happy because of kindnesses because it takes an act of kindness on your part to begin the training process of always seeing the best in a situation. It requires discipline, because in order to keep yourself away from failure you have learned to anticipate what might go wrong, and as a result you don’t look for what’s best, you look for what might not be working. And that consistent attitude of seeing the negative first is part of a psychic leaching service that somewhere along the lines many people have subscribed to. And I’ve got to go in and get leached now. Sucked dry. Choosing to see the best. Choosing to see the best puts you in a frame of mind that sets you up for happiness. The best.





S: We are there already. My particular C word—and I’ll get to yours in just a moment—is compassion. You experience happiness as you experience compassion. And just as acceptance relates to yourself and belief relates to yourself, so does compassion first also relate to yourself, because you cannot give what you do not have. And if you do not have compassion for yourself, you are not going to be able to have it for others.

How does one express compassion for oneself? Give me a way to express compassion, [it] does not have to be a C word, but an everyday example of expressing compassion to yourself.

Accepting that you might be nervous or afraid or upset, and just saying, okay I’m nervous, afraid and upset about whatever’s happening and it’s okay.

S: Allowing yourself to be okay with particular emotions that you might feel you should not be having or you should be over with by now. I should not be nervous about this—be compassionate. I shouldn’t be upset about this—be compassionate. Give yourself a break today.

Give me another example of compassion.

If you feel like you’ve wronged another human and you go to them and say, I want to make amends, I’ve been disrespectful. I’ve done something that was very human and I forgive myself for it, but I wanted to tell you. That it’s not feeling badly about it afterwards, but feeling good about that you have recognized that and corrected it.

S: Following it through when you have found yourself doing something that you don’t like to think you do, but you did. To catch up with that. Was that too convoluted? All right. And moving through to that next step with boldness, working to make amends for the thing, because in order for you to be able to apologize or make amends, you must admit that you have done something that you don’t want to repeat. That means you’ve gained from it. You have grown wise and you have shown yourself compassion because you are choosing not to deny it, not to ignore it, but to admit it and work on changing it.

Compassion is an expression of the belief that there is a higher god available. Compassion is an expression of the belief that there is a higher god in the situation, in this person, in myself, available. And so any act when you do that is based first in compassion, is an opportunity to look for the higher level, higher intent, higher good.

Acceptance, beliefs, compassion. Give me a few more C’s. Aye?

Confrontation actually is part of compassion.

S: Confrontation is part of compassion. Tell me how confrontation makes you happy.

Well, if you were in a situation where, let’s just say, you were in a room full of people and those people have come together to hear something and one person begins to speak while the person who is presenting is speaking, then that person is not working at the highest level for the good of all. They’re working from a very focused level within themselves and might be interfering with the other people’s ability to hear; therefore that higher good is being diminished somewhat. So if you were to turn to that person and say, You know I’d very much like to hear you talk, I’d love to be a part of a conversion with you, but if you continue to do that, you’re interrupting the other people in this situation’s ability to hear, that’s a confrontation—hopefully with compassion—and it is has moved awareness to a higher understanding of what is good for all.

S: How does it make you happy?

Well, one, it should be courtesy for someone, which is one thing. It also means that you have a bond that’s there because you’re connecting with the other people […] is a form of happiness. […]

S: Disappeared, huh?

As Joyous has said, that sort of compassionate work allows you to be functioning at your highest level. You must be consciously working in the most loving fashion possible for a compassionate confrontation. The only way that I accept the word “confrontation” is when it is preceded by the word “compassionate.” Compassionate confrontation, which is very different than simply confrontation. And a compassionate confrontation requires a loving intent first. And that loving intent works to raise things to a higher level, but even if it did not have that effect, which it does, your giving yourself the opportunity to purposefully act with love in a bold fashion is going to allow you to feel more powerful and good about you in your own life. And so happiness does show up with it there. Aye.

Would Christ be a good example, when He was being crucified when He asked the Source to please forgive … that the people did not know what they were doing? It seems like the most perfect example of compassion and all of the elements you have talked about. It’s the perfect example.

S: And so, therefore, a connection for happiness into your own life is to remember that Christ example. To remember Christ within you—the hope and glory for the world there is—and allowing your spirit to reach toward that example. Yes. That’s a good one.

Happiness requires work. It is the symptom, the consequence of your choices. You can choose to be happy. Did you know that? And when you are grumpy and angry and hard to deal with, when your behaviors are—how should we say?—unfortunate, perhaps you need a happiness nark. What would a happiness nark be, Suzie?

What would it be?

S: Aye.

How do you mean?

S: Well, what would be a happiness nark? What does that person do?

Let’s see, they’d probably walk around and be … you know, have high energy and bouncy and tell jokes or [says several words in a Daffy Duck voice].

S: Just as a few moments ago, for those in the television audience who saw Joyous disappear, so Suzie has turned into a duck.

A happiness nark might be somebody who purposefully goes around and seeks out arenas in which their happiness can spread out and around, but if you need a happiness nark you might go to Suzie, for instance, and say, Will you let me know if I don’t seem very happy? Just remind me. Poke me a little here and there and say, Smile. Be happy. Raise it up to the highest level. You think?

And another thing that you can do to ensure that you allow yourself as much happiness as you can have is that you do what you can to stay away from the absolute happiness buster. Perhaps in your life there are more than one single thing that tends to be the happiness busters in your life and you might be able to think of several things that tend to cloud the sunshine within your heart, but something that’s absolutely the guarantee is acting before consciousness. Act before conscious and you become unhappy.

What’s another way of expressing that without an ABC? How about putting one’s foot in one’s mouth? No, I will not give a demonstration. That tends to be the result of acting before consciousness. Aye.


S: Reaction. Very much. You’re not acting consciously with your reactions. You have allowed the buggy to get before the horse. That’s not it? I thought …

The cart before the horse.

S: Well, I was pretty close. Most of you understood.

All right, you’ve allowed the cart to get before the horse then. What else works with that?

Speaking before you think.

S: Speaking before you think about what it is you’re going to say or how what you’re going to say will affect those to whom you’re saying it. That’s a sure cure for happiness. Right? The cure for happiness. Gets rid of it. Come on, I know you’re awake. What’s another?


S: Self-judgment. Because that is a lack of consciousness in regard to your truest nature, and when the actions are self-judging in a negative fashion, it’s because you’ve not allowed your truest awareness to be a part.

Another. Aye?

Taking something personally.

S: Always having to take everything personally. But usually only the bad things, not the good things. If somebody says you are such a remarkable group, you automatically assume it’s everyone else. But when what someone says is you’re really having a terrible time of it and you’re behaving so badly, you know I’m talking just to you. Aye?


S: Point made. Taking the negative personally tends to, as in self-judgment, be an activity that takes away your happiness.


I think it’s habit. You do it because you’ve always done it. You don’t think about it anymore.

S: Doing it because you’ve always done it. You don’t even think of it any more. That’s acting before consciousness. Absolutely. Aye.

Taking our emotions—our own unconscious emotions—out on others rather than owning them ourselves first.

S: Yes. Projecting that everybody else around you is just angry and unhappy and difficult to deal with maybe in response to how angry and unhappy and difficult to deal with you’re being. Aye.

The need to be right.

S: Oh, needing to be right. That really is acting before consciousness, because that need to be right has such a tendency to refocus absolutely everything that goes on around you, making you really unpleasant to deal with, making you hard to talk to. Defensive by projection. Absolutely.

Aye, love.

Expecting other people to act or think as you would in a certain situation.

S: Aye. Aye, because that attitude—expecting everybody to do it the way you would—tends to create a whole lot of actions before consciousness. Of judgment. Of frustration.

All right, here is a major life secret: The Universe wants you to be happy. That in fact it is your happiness that allows you to know that you’re following the path that you’re here to be on. There is no easier way for the Universe to keep you on schedule, doing what you’re here to do. There is no easier way for you to feel fulfilled and connected and therefore willing to continue but by your level of happiness. It’s to the Universe’s advantage that you be happy. And, therefore, you’ve got a friend in high places. You have so many things here, so much available to you. Even in the most difficult of situations, you in this room have a lifestyle so far beyond so many others on this planet today. There is so little to be unhappy about. Aye.

Do you think there’s a place for grief at all?

S: Absolutely. I believe that grief is not only a very whole and life-enhancing experience, but you’ve got to be careful that it does not hold you, but you hold it. Sometimes grief sucks you in, you know. It’s one of those habitual things that you quit remembering what it is that you’re grieving over and allowing life to continue, and instead you’ve just gotten caught up into the habit—the spiral down instead of the spiral up. But the truth of it is, my friend, you cannot start new until you’ve grieved the old. And I very much encourage and remind individuals when they are experiencing loss and change in their life to remember to grieve. To grieve that child that’s no longer around. To grieve that adult who’s making a change. To grieve that part of a life that will never be the same. To grieve that loss so that you might move on to more. Absolutely. That’s a part of healing. It just simply doesn’t need to be an incredibly long part of it.

You are here to be happy, because it is when you are happy you are firing on all cylinders. (I did that one right. All right!) Because your happiness allows you to be what you are. And what are you? Spirit learning to live love. Temporarily in an interesting disguise called human.

It’s time, my friends. The world believes you’ve got something. That you’ve made a point that you’re doing something right. That you’re successful when you are happy. If you believe that you’re here to make a difference, then it is going to be your happiness levels that allow others to want to draw to you like a magnet. And the pure energy itself of happiness is a magnet. Experiment with it for yourself. See what happens when you are beaming joyous light. The world needs you and it needs you happy. And since it is a natural state for your being, choose to make it so.

Be well, my friends, and be happy. Glochanumora.