May 3, 2009

Samuel: Hello, dears.

Hello, Samuel.

S: what did you do today to make somebody’s life better and brighter? Steven and Janet.

I’ll go first. Jordan is, as Matt, studying for his finals, and he and his dog are like just inseparable, and so he asked if we would keep the dog. So I kept his dog for him this weekend and reported to him how good she was, and took her for two walks every day and played with her, and neglected a lot of other things to be with the dog so I could report that she was happy.

S: You’re practicing, aren’t you?

Possibly. I hope it’s like, you know . . . three to four years down the road.

S: And that easy.

Well, when he called, he seemed very happy and relieved.

S: Nice.

Janet is going to be teaching an aerobics class at Western Elementary with some of her peers and colleagues. And I had planned to go in early and do some office work. And she let me know she really needed a CD, so I was the tech geek, the techie, and downloaded the music and put it on CD so she could shine tomorrow.

S: Yes. Sallie.

This afternoon, Jennifer called me, and Kathleen was at her house, and they both wanted me to tell everybody tonight that they missed being here and that they want us to say hello.

S: And you have just made many peoples’ day better and brighter and you are just passing it along. Very good. Is that you, Terri? Are you saying yes or just feeling the air? All right.

I have a brother named Craig, he lives in Atlanta, and he has had troubles over the years with all kinds of dysfunctional things. But he’s has had an epiphany, a spiritual awakening, and he started driving a truck . . .

S: That’s always a sign.

And he happened to have a load, and he’s had all these questions, calling me from the road, and he’s telling me about the blessings and the synchronicity he’s experiencing. So he happened to have a load up in Dayton. The dispatcher had him take his truck in for maintenance, and of course a driver hates that because that’s no miles, so he figured out how to be happy about that. He wound up coming to Cincinnati and spending time with us. So this morning, I got up and cooked breakfast for him. And he had all these questions about synchronicity happening, so I was able to share my wisdom with him and help him understand what he was experiencing, and we could talk about things that we couldn’t talk about with anybody else in our family. They’d probably think we were weird, but it was like, wow. He understood. Then when he got to Dayton, he was saying that whenever he has all these things happening, then something’s going to happen that’s going to bum you out. And when he got there, he was hoping to get his load and go on to Connecticut but the truck wasn’t ready. So he called me and instead of being down and depressed, he said, “How should I think about this?” And we were able to talk about the blessing of just waiting and accepting reality, just creating the story that this was a good thing. And getting his truck, his maintenance now, and the safety, and he’ll get longer runs. And it was like . . . if that’s the story, that’s what it will be. We talked about thoughts being things, and as within, so without. And so my relationship with my brother that we had gotten splintered, but now we’re a force. It’s so nice to be able to be his fellow partner on the journey. He helps me and I help him.

S: You deserve that. [. . .] From one who would know. [Owen laughs] I want him to start channeling the cookie monster again. I think that was one of my favorite things. Not that there wasn’t a lot of favorite things about the retreat, of course, that just was one of the highlights. Tell me a lesson from Terri’s gift. Don’t jump at once. Mary, Suzie, Lakshmi—was there a hand up over there? And then Angela!

That I can always reframe things and look at the positive side of anything that’s going on in my life. And I have to remember to do that.

S: And if every one of you said that same thing, that would be great. Because that is so important. Very good.

I got that it’s never too late for your family to make changes to be more spiritual.

S: And if that was all you heard, that’s really important. You have a tendency to give up too fast, and it’s important to love enough to hold on.

It was very touching to see or to know that Terri created such a safe place for her brother to reach out. Being such a highly functioning Guardian as she is, and knowing everything she does, she didn’t scare him off with big things. She spoke to him at a level he would hear it in a way he would hear it so that when he would have trouble later, he called her. I think that is a big miracle. More than the first time reaching out, to seek it. It worked for him, that bridge.

S: And if that’s the only thing you hear tonight, that’s pretty great.

He was open enough to recognize there was a situation he didn’t like, but being open, he could expand and ask himself how he could actually be grateful for that situation and turn it into something that was a gift for him.

S: I’ve got to say, it’s coming again. And that, if it’s the only thing you’re hearing, that is vital. It is so easy to get caught up in all of the stuff that makes up your life. It’s so easy to be thinking that, “This is the most important thing going on in my life, and this is . . . and this is . . . and this is . . .” And you over-book, and you not only get into a habit that starts letting everyone around you down because you’re not at your best, but you let yourself down. It’s so easy in life to forget to stop and look for the miracles, the gifts. And when you can’t find them, to reframe them, to look for the—I’ve never quite understood “silver lining.” Anybody?

When there’s cloudy days, and the clouds are all dark and everything.

S: That’s not silver.

Within that cloud is a silver lining.

When you see a silver lining around the cloud, then you know the sun is behind it and its shining. So the clouds will eventually move and the sun will shine, and there will be bright.

S: A silver outline.

That’s right, yes.

It’s part of a song, you know.

S: No.

Most of our coins are silver colored, and so when it rains, this is prosperous. So every cloud has the potential to bring fortune and prosperity.

S: And it does seem to me that unless you can pick up and come up with that kind of version of it [dog bark] This place has gone to the dogs. It does seem however, that unless you can frame it in something that positive, that what that means is everything in your life is going to need constant attention or it’s going to get pitted and break apart. And that’s sort of what I’m talking about tonight.

I’ve been talking over these few months about the importance of balance, particularly now, this year. Balance in your life, bringing balance to your life. How are you doing that?

But first, what is it he wants? [. . .] Well, tell him that Owen is not real excited about playing with him. He is a very big dog. Oh, now his heart is broken. No, I think that he would just overwhelm him. Good try, though. Tell him, “Stop.” Well, now you see, that’s the Woo dog, and Woo dog is a dog. Doesn’t know what to do.

So, before I go into that discussion about balance, first I want you to tell me, what do I mean by bring balance into your life, and how do you do that? You don’t have to answer both of those. But let’s start with, what do I mean when I say you need to bring balance into your life? All right, you’re not quick enough tonight, Jeanean is.

Um, well, you can look at all the various areas of your life, measure your satisfaction with those areas, and see if it meets up with your priorities of your current reality, make some changes if necessary to bring balance in one or two or many of those.

S: You’ve got to take a look at your life. You take a look at all of the different parts of your life and you figure out — and that moves right into the next step. And so the first one is, you take a look at your life. You take all the things that make up a day for you, and then all of the things that make up a week for you. You look to see where you are putting the most time, and then you take a look at it, and you say, “Is this how I want to be spending my time?” You take a look at it and you say, “Of all of these different things, what do I enjoy the most? What feeds me the most? Is this what I’m spending the most time doing? How does it pay me?” because everything you do pays you something. You may not like what it’s paying you, but it’s paying you something. So you take a look at it and you say, “Do I want this constant kick in the stomach that I get from spending fifteen hours a week doing this? What can I do to change it?”

Here is a big key to bringing balance into your life: you need to know what you like and what you don’t like, what feeds you and what does not feed you. You need to know yourself or you will be unable to bring balance into your life, because when your life is made up of everybody else’s version of what you should be doing, you cannot be in balance.

Owen is two, right Jess? He is two. [laughter] As a two-year-old, he is, as you can tell very well there, he is doing everything in advance. That’s not how you say that, is it? He is advanced for his age, ahead for his age. Usually about three a typical child starts moving out, starts moving out, starts leaving the safety of the embrace until about seven, when they’re learning all sorts of things about being social. And somewhere in there they go to school, and on and on and on. At the point of seven, there is a large change. The next change is about thirteen, after that somewhere around twenty, up to twenty-three . . .  All of these changes typically are changes in consciousness. In this culture, most people have had very little time in their life directed toward figuring out what they are personally about. Very little time growing up that isn’t stuffed full of everybody else’s expectations for you, that isn’t filled with “Here is what you should be doing, and here is what you should not be doing.”

And of course, those are important parts of keeping your child safe, of helping your child function in the world, of doing what’s expected. But if that child at four or forty has not learned to hear his own voice, and to know what he enjoys and what he wants for himself, then come forty you’re going to have a depressed and angry adult. Now, I have called the current culture the Prozac generation, and I have said that because it is a grouping of people. And when I say generation in that way, I probably should just say culture instead of generation. And I would say to you, that is because most adults are out of balance, have lost passion, and do not know how to change it to be happier, healthier, better.

Now, at the retreat . . . how many of you were at the retreat? Good. Of those that were at the retreat, how many of you have your notes with you? A few. All right, so this might work. That’s because I didn’t want to put Steven or Lakshmi on the spot. I want you to do that.

At the retreat, there were two systems that were brought out for you to better be able to know what you want and function in such a way that you can start bringing into your life what you want. The first thing that came about was Steven taught you five very vital principles. And I’m going through this again because I want it in the recording. I want everybody who is watching this right now by your computer or later down the road on your DVD—I get that mixed up with CD. CD and DVD? All right. I want you to be able to have this because these teachings were brought in now for a very particular reason.

The first were five principles that not only help you live a more fulfilling spiritual life, help you make decisions in a better way, many good things about it, they will help you balance your life. And right now, across the planet, balance is needed and you need to get so good at keeping yourself balanced that you can be an anchor for those around you who are sort of treading water and getting tired. So, what is the first principle of those five? Colleen?

Nothing has to happen my way.

S: Nothing has to happen my way. Ooh! Right there, most of the American culture would object, wouldn’t you say? It does not have to happen my way, and yet there is a part of even you, there is a piece however small, that now again crops up its nasty little head and it says, “This should be the way I want it to be. Everybody should be all right with how I want it to be. It’s not good if it’s not about me.” It is understandable because of bad communication habits, but many people—and start paying attention to this—many people, in a mistaken desire to relate to you, change every conversation around to talk about themselves. “I just broke my leg.” “You know what, when I was five, I broke my leg, too. Boy it was a mess! Had to go to the hospital and we . . .” You cannot know another’s path. You cannot know another person’s journey the way you know yours. So of course you want to share yours. But you will never have intimate friendships. That sounds like a friendship with benefits, but that’s different, isn’t it? That’s different altogether. You will never have deep and close friendships if it’s only about you. And it’s a bad habit particularly among Guardians. It’s not about you. It doesn’t have to be about you. The way you want it to be does not necessarily mean that’s the way it should be. To bring balance into your life, you must remember, say it again.

Nothing has to happen my way.

S: Nothing has to happen my way. Your way. [laughter]

Or you (Samuel) can rephrase it and say, “Everything has to happen my way.” You can say that.

S: It does. And the reason everything happens my way . . . ?

. . . is you don’t have one way. You weave everything towards the higher good.

S: It’s because I know, as you should, that the only thing that you can control in this world is what?


S: Yourself. You cannot control someone else. There’s this nasty little thing here called free will. Look, it wasn’t a bad apple. There’s no reason to have made it such a big deal. But, there you go. The choices were made. Free will won. Free will won, and that means that the only power you have is over yourself. And you will make yourself miserable, you will, guaranteed, stay out of balance if your function, your happiness, your life depends upon having to control somebody else. It’s not going to happen because you only have control over yourself. It doesn’t have to be your way because there are a thousand other ways that might work. And the more you limit those ways so you can stay safe, the more unhappy you become. All humans are claustrophobic, and since you think, “Hey, I have no trouble in small spaces,” I should explain. You cannot manage being put into a tiny box. You so don’t want to be labeled; you don’t want to be limited. Give others the freedom you demand for yourself.

There is a second one, what is that?

Everything matters.

S: Everything matters. I don’t think that needs a whole lot of discussion. It’s one of those principles that’s just so clear. Everything matters. There are not coincidences. There’s a purpose for all of it. But you will not see it and you will resist it if you limit yourself only to that which isn’t working according to which it should. And you’re so focused on it that all of your attention just goes to that which isn’t working, and that makes it stronger and stronger and stronger, because it’s getting all of your focus.

But part of “everything matters” is everything else that’s going on. And you know one important part of “everything matters” is the successes of your past. And I have noticed that Guardians who are working so well in the now—now is where the power is—sometimes forget that there is a positive way to look at the past, and that is to seek past successes. “Good grief, I made it through this week. Everything is going to be simple from there.” “Five years ago I went through something like this, and it was all right.” Everything matters and everything in your life is there so you will be able to give it out at the appropriate time.

And the third one is? Catherine?

That which is within me is greater than that which is in the world.

S: Greater is that which is in you than that which is in the world. Guardians have such a tendency to forget that. You get so caught up in all of the things that make up your life. You get so tied up very often by things that don’t matter enough to tie you up and hold you up as much as you are. You get yourself fearful, anxious, stressed. You forget that everything you need you come equipped with, that in fact, there is not anything in this world—hear me—there is not a thing in this world that’s bigger than you. And you would do well to know that. And you’re not going to know it if you’re constantly out of balance. You’re not going to know that if you do not pat yourself on the back when you’re doing well and you can add that to your skill set that lets you go on and on and on.

Sometimes I have the opportunity to talk to you and there are all of these reasons why things aren’t going the way they should be for you. This person is doing this horrible thing. Back in my past there was this horrible thing done. I don’t know how to do this thing, and I’m not skilled enough with that thing. The gods are against me. Greater is that which is in you than that which is in the world. Which causes me to ask, what is it in you that is greater than that which is within the world?

Connection to Source . . .

S: And yes, that is true. The spirit being that you are is absolutely greater than anything you can possibly encounter in this world. But what I would have answered is, the form that spirit takes, which is your capacity to love. That which is in you is greater than that which is in the world. There is perhaps a bumper sticker, a small pithy phrase. It is, “Love is the answer. Now, what is the question?” I like that. Of course, it’s a lot bigger than you might realize as well.

And so the fourth one is?

Be the miracle.

S: Yes! How do you be the miracle?

Recognizing miracles.

S: Recognizing miracles is how you begin to call them down from heaven. It’s how you become capable of drawing more miracles to you. And when you realize you can draw those miracles to you, you become confident that indeed you are the miracle. But that is good on several areas. You are the miracle because you are Source in form. And it’s a great big costume party. And you are the miracle, and as you come to know you are the miracle, you become the point of creation for more miracles. And then of course there is, “you are a miracle in someone else’s life.” Do not get so short-sighted that you miss that, and do not believe it’s ego when you recognize it. What’s the easiest miracle-maker?

A smile.

S: Actually, I like that. I like that a lot. A smile’s an easy miracle-maker. I think of it as sort of priming the pump for the biggest miracle-maker, which is love.

I talk a lot about love, have you noticed that? Do you think there’s a reason for that? You’re starting into the time of year when love and lust start getting all mixed up, when love and manipulation start getting all mixed up. Love is a function of Source in this world. Know that, live that, breathe that. And now and again, just for the fun of it, remind yourself that, by the way, you are Source in this world.

Then we have another.

Release my humanity.

S: Release your humanity. Why is it important to do that, to release your humanity? Why?

Make room for spirit.

S: Give room for spirit. I like that.

To actually function as Source in this world. Humanity sort of puts you in boxes.

S: Back to the boxes. Yes, yes.

Because we are time-limited, and the time is short, and there are so many distractions in form and in humanity that we can waste our life chasing detours.

S: Would you say that again?

I probably can’t.

S: Close enough. You are the creation point for these points.

We are time-limited. We’re in form; it’s a very short blink of the eye. It’s so easy because there are so many temptations: things that tempt our ego, things that tempt us physically, things that tempt us mentally. And those distractions take us away from our purpose, and they take us away from who we are. They are detours.

S: Yes, yes.

I think when you’re playing in your humanity, the rules are different. So you have no choice. When you’re in the human plane, you have to react this way. So you have to get out of that where the rules are different.

S: And the rules for humans are things like “step on top of everyone else so you can become the top of the heap.” “Manipulate,” without meaning leadership. “Become cynical, manipulative, controlling.”

Living in your humanity kind of negates the second one, where “everything matters,” because humans tend to think, “Oh, don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s okay to tell this lie, not pay this tax,” and you start justifying all these little behaviors.

Releasing my humanity means to me that I don’t have any excuses anymore. Because I can go, “Oh, I’m not cynical,” I don’t do that. I’m a pretty good, nice, loving person, but . . .

S: Or more, “I’m so much kinder and more loving than everyone in my neighborhood!”

I’m already like in the “A” category, but where I really need to release my humanity is when something is needed and I’m not feeling well, so “Oh, I won’t do that because I have a headache.” Or I feel like, “If did that, I might fall off the ladder and hurt myself.” I protect myself. That’s the humanity.

S: Say that again.

I protect myself. And I protect myself in ways that I’ve learned serve me well. That’s where I have to let go of that, “Okay, I’ve become a good human.” Now I have to go past being a good human into the extra-credit area.

S: I think you’re going to be really happy when the college year is up, aren’t you? I can tell that you’re pretty focused on where it is right now.

It also means not blaming others and claiming your “I Am.”

S: It means not blaming others, being responsible and claiming your “I Am.”

The first one was?

Nothing has to happen my way.

S: The second one?

Everything matters.

S: The third?

Greater is that which is in me than that which is in the world.

S: That which is in you is greater than that which is without. The fourth?

Be the miracle.

S: And the fifth?

I surrender my humanity.

S: But what that does is it puts you into a place in which you have no excuses. You are creating a powerful reality; you have your inner self working. Now it’s time to get the outer self working. Which leads to a discussion about creating a vision.

A vision is the greater purpose, but it cannot be so general that just by waking up in the morning you are fulfilling your vision, and it may be a different vision than this area of your life, or a different vision than that area of your life. You create the vision assuming that you have everything that you need. “What do I want here?” And you reach it by way of goals. And Lakshmi provided a wonderful . . . what do you call those things? Acronym? An acronym. They are called SMART Goals.

And I want to share that it’s something that’s been used in the business world forever and has been adapted into personal lives.

S: She’s trying to be very polite and say, “I did not come up with this. I have no copyright on it. But the fact of it is, she taught you how to set goals that will allow you to accomplish the vision of the powerful life you are here to have. I don’t think any business model teaches that. It’s the love model. And it starts with S.


S: Good, good! The goal needs to be specific. Now, the vision doesn’t have to be pinpointed specific. But the goal should be so that you know when you have accomplished that. Specific.



S: How many of you carry around a tiny little . . .


S: Tape measure! That was it. How many of you carry around a tiny tape measure? That’s not the kind of measure we’re talking about here. It is, it should be something that you can—well, I’m going to go back to what I said a moment age—know you have got it. You want to put it into a period of time. Most of you do not reach your goals because you leave it open-ended. You do not say, “in six weeks” or “in six months” or “in six minutes.” You leave one of the most important elements of destruction in your life to run free. “Samuel, are you saying time is an element of destruction?” When it’s running free and you don’t have a tap on it, yes I am. Lasso it in, cowboy.

After M there is A. Got to help me here. Attainable. What does that mean?

You have to be able to do it.

S: You have to make it something you believe you can do. Which means baby steps to success. “Oh look, I did this so I can do that!” You don’t make your goal something that you’ve always thought was impossible and something you would never manage. You make your goal manageable so that then you can set another goal and another and another and another and get there. Attainable. You believe it. Attainable. You accept it. Attainable. You agree with it because the negative version of those means you don’t go there.



S: Give me an example of an unrealistic goal. Bonnie.

I’d like to do three back handsprings and land and not break my back.

S: I’m going to do three back handsprings and not break my back. Have you ever done three back handsprings?

No. But it would really be fun to do if I could do it.

S: Probably not attainable. Definitely not realistic. Mary Claire, what’s another?

I want to be healthy in 2009 so I’m going to work out seven days a week for an hour and a half every day. That’s very, very unrealistic.

S: And there are people who do that. But you? You know, if you’re not working out at all yet, it’s pretty not realistic.



S: And what does timely mean? Oh, come on, that’s not hard.

It means it can fit into your life as it currently is, and it can change if your life changes. You can adjust it to be timely. Renegotiate, that’s the word, thank you.

S: You make time for it. “My life is packed. I cannot do anything without my Blackberry.”—Yes? I thought so, but I kept thinking blueberry. [laughs] A handful of purple things . . . . Blackberry. “I cannot get away without my Blackberry, I cannot run the country without my Blackberry.” Yes? Every moment is scheduled, everything is filled up, but I want to get my doctorate next year.

What is the reason that somebody might ignore all these powerful, important helps? Frank?

They work. I tend to sabotage myself and it’s pretty scary if I’m not really thinking I can handle the goal I’m setting up or the vision I’m setting up and I have the tools that are going to work.

S: Best ignore them if they’re going to work. That’s true.


They don’t want to take on the responsibility, or they don’t feel they’re worthy of success.

S: That’s two big ones there. Don’t want to take on the responsibility; do not feel worthy of having the success.


They replace drama. And if your whole life is dependent on having that drama to make you feel alive then . . .

S: You live in drama, because early on you lost your passion. So you live in drama. Everything is a crisis. Somebody said a statement recently about . . . your crisis does not constitute . . .

Your lack of planning does not constitute a crisis for me.

S: Your lack of planning does not mean I have a crisis, or something like that.


Another reason why people don’t use it is because of too much interference, too many choices, an inability to focus.

S: Too much. Too much to do because your life is all about never completing anything and staying busy all the time because that makes you feel like you’re doing something worthwhile. A very dear and greatly beloved friend of mine said recently that because the main thing that she had been doing was not happening, it must mean she did not have anything to do to justify a particular a position I wanted her in. But you know, it’s not about how much you do; it’s about how you do it. And when you just pack your life full of so many things that have little meaning to you, that do not feed you, that do not allow you to see the reality of what you are in this world, you pack your life with people who think that cutting people down is the fun way to converse, that negativity is safe because if it’s better you’ll be happy but otherwise you won’t be surprised, you fill your life with people who have no idea of what they truly are—I will guarantee you will not realize what you truly are.

There is a year ahead of you filled with amazing miracles and you need to clear your life enough to be able to see them, to be able to make them, to be able to change the world with them. This is a month that kindles passion. Relationships of all kinds all start with the most important relationship you have: that is you meeting you.

A big month. Have fun.