July 3, 1994

Samuel: Well, greetings, dears.

Greetings, Samuel.

S: Good. Do you feel sort of like a firepopper?

All right, gifts! Very good.

I’ve been working on this one all day.

S: All life.

I had a class scheduled to teach, and accidentally, coincidentally, Joy wanted to trade classes with me, and I laughed when I found out the class was about journaling. Well, it’s funny to me because I’ve written journals probably since I was thirteen years old, and then all of a sudden, when you put a certain intent on it, I fought; I just quit; I quit writing. So I decided to go ahead and teach the class; I was going to do my job, but I asked for help. That’s an important part of the gift for me. I asked for help and information from everywhere to understand this, because the journaling wasn’t the problem; it was why I wasn’t journaling. And so a big part of that gift is that I allowed myself to look at my beliefs and then decided whether or not I wanted to change them and that allowed me to journal. And I brought the book. I’ve written in it every night since.

S: What’s it doing for you?

It reminds me to focus more on what I really am doing, as opposed to what I think I’m doing.

S: Amazing, eh?

And it’s allowing me to play more. It’s sort of like, if I’m focusing, then I can really think about what I want. You know, maybe if I’m doing Victory Journaling, then maybe I might be asking for something that I wouldn’t have asked for before because it’s a stretch for me.

S: It absolutely puts consciousness into your life.

I want a gift off that gift. Aye? As she’s telling her gift, what’s it giving to you? What comes to mind? What appears? What comes home for you? Cathy, dear.

It’s never too late to mend your ways.

S: And of course that’s a sermonette. So I know that, because it’s a gift, what you’re saying is that it’s never too late for you to mend your ways.

That’s right, that I can always start and take these things up, even though I have fought them myself.

S: Indeed. Indeed. Aye. Another. Aye, dear.

That when you ask for help, it sometimes triggers something higher in you that couldn’t have done that without that help, and so to be able to ask for help is such a gift.

S: Also that sometimes the help you get is you, because your higher self, for instance, comes to the rescue. Aye. Ask and you will receive it.


Sometimes what you resist the most is what you need.

S: No! Anybody here ever find that to be true. Something that you’ve just resisting your little heart out! And much to your surprise, once you stopped resisting and gave in to it, you found that it was perhaps what you needed more than anything else. Amazing how life is that way. What do you think brings that about? What causes that, that tendency to resist exactly what it is you’re needing? What do you think that’s about? Frank?

For me it’s fear of change.

S: Fear of change. All right, that could be one thing it is, fear of change. Coincides very much with fear of death in this society, death being the ultimate change. Aye.

And for me it was fear of responsibility.

S: Thank you.

If I had a co-partnership with the Universe. It was very easy for me to ask the Universe. But I knew I wasn’t doing my part. And so if was going to put this to paper, I was committed to do my part in the partnership.

S: Lovely. Aye. Very much that lovely human self saying, “You can’t take on more; come on, you can’t take on more. Let’s be serious here. Just what is it you think you’re doing?” And what you’re doing is allowing yourself consistent success that lets you know that you have power. But of course there’s a lot of good reasons you want to avoid knowing you have power, isn’t there? Responsibility for it is one of them.

I was going to say, one of the reasons why you don’t journal is because you see your power, and that sometimes scares some people who are not used to it.

S: You’re not used to it—not wanting to be used to it. Good work. Lovely, thank you, dear. Another gift. Separate. Different. Aye, dear.

Well, I just took a wonderful trip with my sister—who is sitting right here—from California, and we went up to…. We went thousands of miles out of our way to go up to ..

S: On purpose?

Well, I planned to do this, but Sue said, well, why don’t we go up to Montana and see the new baby from Paraguay that our cousins had, so we got to climb at Glacier, and we drove across and we went to Minnesota and saw nieces and saw old friends that I hadn’t seen for sixteen or twenty years or longer. And then I saw Diane her new life, and we had a wonderful time, and I just felt free and great. I feel as if I have come through the fire, and I was in a whole new thing, and I just felt wonderful. And I love the nature and the time and the art that I saw and the friends and the people, and I didn’t worry about things. We visited the daughter of a friend who lives and works at a homeless shelter in Chicago, and just did things that I didn’t know we were going to do. And the person that I was going with did pre-planned … I had to do A, B … I didn’t do any A, B, Cs, but all the things that happened, that we did, it was as if pre-planned. It couldn’t have been planned better.

S: And although I can hear about fifty different ones, tell me the ultimate gift of all that.

It’s the freedom, the freedom from bondage to my own fear and self-doubt and anger and all the things within myself or manufactured by myself that had been keeping me from doing what I wanted just because I couldn’t define what I wanted. It was as if I had gotten out of a cage.

S: Molly has just given you tonight’s message. So, while you give me gifts on her gift, I’ll think real quickly of something else to talk to you about tonight. Good work, dear. Absolutely. You are the firepopper tonight. Good work. Give me a gift off her gift for you. Aye.

It reminds me to go out and enjoy life, because sometimes we get caught up in this little tunnel vision of what we feel like we should be doing, and just enjoy exploring, be with people, and have fun.

S: “Should bes” are very much shades over your eyes. And shades aren’t a bad thing to have over your eyes. “Should bes” are not a bad thing to have in your life, but you’ve got to remember that they are coloring the you. You’re not seeing it all because of those shoulds.

Good. More. Aye.

That change is opportunity.

S: Isn’t it.

That visiting your past can be a useful thing instead of a fear thing.

S: Good. Very good. Aye.

That you can make plans with a “this or something better” if you want to.

S: Aye. Good work.

Choosing to change is sort of like honoring an innate part of yourself really hungers for that freedom, and we often stop ourselves with the fear, thinking that letting go means not having as much, when, really, thoughtful change will allow change with awareness is filling ourselves up.

S: Oh, darling, your lives are really changing, aren’t they? Because you’re seeing the beauty in the paths you’re walking. That’s not to say that there isn’t still stumbly places, maybe landslides now and again, but you’re seeing the beauty, and that’s the difference between the master and the student. Good work. Good, good work.

It’s a holiday weekend. Tell me your holiday.

Independence Day.

S: Independence Day. Independence Day. And what are you independent of?

The British.

S: Listen, darling, I’m here to tell you it never happens. Now, is that exactly accurate, that what you are independent of is British rule? Is that accurate? Is that what Independence Day is really about?

I think it would be any rule that would be imposed that would be [..134] agreed upon.

S: Joy says she believes that it would have been any imposed rule rather than agreed-upon rule, and I believe you’ve really got it there. Something really can be said about that, because it wasn’t so much a problem that some of your many, many forbears were wanting to resist British rule; it’s that they were wanting to resist the tyranny, the unfairness, of so many of the rules over so much of the time. Because very, very often, darlings, look at your own life; you find this to be true in 1994, just as you would have in 1774, five, six—your history. It’s not that you don’t like having rulership. It’s that you don’t like rulership that’s not doing it your way. Aye? You’re happy to follow the plan you agree with. It’s when you don’t agree with it that you start resisting.

Is that good or bad? Trick question; be careful. (Silence) All right, what do we have to do to wake up tonight? Come now, wake up. Is it good or bad?

Both, because you have to buy into the plan even if you don’t participate in forming it. You have to buy into what the concept is, and so, if you believe in that, then you don’t have to be party to creating it, but often creating it makes you party, and you’ve already bought into it. So, one way or the other, you have to have some belief in the plan for it to work.

S: Good. What rules do is help you know your mind. What rules do—laws, rules—do, is help you know your mind. Frank, give me an illustration of that that happened just very recently, that has to do with how to know your mind.

Like with choosing videos.

S: Is that what they were? All right.

Lea and I were trying to choose videos to watch last night, and we always rent two in case one’s bad, you have one to fall back on. And Lea had gone through and pulled out four, and I asked Lea which two she liked—it doesn’t matter at all [to me]—so I mixed them up and turned them backwards so you couldn’t see the titles and chose two. And she said, “I don’t want these.” Samuel had taught us a long time before that if you had a decision of two things, you flip a coin, and if you’re disappointed with the results, do what you want to do, but that’s a good way to know.

S: What’s my point here?

I think sometimes we choose what we call confusion when we don’t want to be clear.

S: Remember that my point was that your rules let you know what it is you believe, what it is you really want—say it again.

Confusion is sometimes a choice when we don’t want to be clear.

S: That’s good. That works. Stuart.

When your emotional response to a rule is a signpost to what your belief is about it. If you’re angry about a rule that’s being imposed on you, then you have a belief that maybe isn’t working for you under that situation, or it lets you know that you would like to do things differently, but the anger in your emotional response to a rule will let you know what you believe about something. If the rule’s not there, you don’t have that opportunity.

S: And perhaps it’s not an angry response. Perhaps it’s confusion that just tells you, I’m not going to act anymore. There’s nothing more to it.

If you have clear rules and everybody understands the rules and everybody knows how to play the game, or whatever, they may or may not agree with them, but at least there are guideposts.

S: And the guideposts—which rules also are—allow you to see what about the masses? The rules are guideposts, whether everybody agrees or not … lets you know what about the everybody who agrees or not? I’ll give you a hint: It has to do with everybody agreeing or not.

The limits.

That most people agree that that’s the way things should be.

S: The limits of what?

Of acceptance.

S: The limits of acceptance of the group? All right, that works. Forgive me, all right? [He takes a cup of water, dips his fingers into it, and flips water onto someone in the front row] Sorry, dear. [Does it again]

I should tell you to stop, shouldn’t I?

S: No, darling, you don’t have to tell me to stop at all. But, generally speaking, this isn’t such a bad thing, is it? You get a few nice little drops of water; it’s a little bit wet, but it’s not all that bad. But pretty soon it starts building up and building up, and pretty soon something that’s not too bad can become intolerable, can’t it? But what is that level for you? Just how much is it you’re going to take before you say enough. That is what Independence Day is about. Just how much you’ll take before you change.

Now, I’m not exactly sure that your forebears would have agreed that that’s exactly what it was about, because in the midst of a tornado, all you’re thinking about is getting into the basement. But ultimately, independence is expressed through passion, and although it is not necessarily the “all right, I am not going to take any of this anymore,” and instead is the “here is what I am going to do about it,” all of that that you think is behind your country’s celebration of freedom, all of that was totally reliant upon not the rules and the rules being broken, not the level of tolerance of the crowd, but eventually the action taken to make the change. The action taken to make the change. And in order to take that action, the requirement was passion.

What I am talking to you about tonight, my dear ones, is the passion in your life. Maybe the bondage you are willing to put up with because there is no passion in your life. Or perhaps it is your willingness to put for a long time with drop after drop after drop, because you keep telling yourself it’s not so bad. “Taken in the moment, I can stand this.” It’s time for rebellion, pure rebellion. It’s time to take the actions that will change your bondage. At the very least, at the very least, to a ruler you more care about. At the very most, to the creation of a new system that you are more willing to work with.

So … passion. What’s passion? Let me give you a hint. Your Independence Day is also, as far as I’m concerned, the festival of fire. Can you see that? A fire festival. What is fire?


Strong emotions.




S: Yes. What does fire do?

It cleanses.

S: It cleanses, it purifies. You are all such spiritual people. Does nobody just put things on fire.

It burns.

S: That’s it. It burns. And those fires in California, what are they doing to California?

Cleansing it.

S: Cleansing it, yes.

Burning it up.

Changing it.

Destroying it.

S: Changing it is the word I am looking for. Radical, catastrophic, immediate change. Fire. It’s energy. Energy controlled is heat and warmth; it’s light. Energy uncontrolled is dangerous, a killer. A re-creator, with its own rules.

Where is the fire in your life? Think about it for a moment. I’m associating fire with passion. This is a fire festival, and the good in you recognizes that fire is purifying and cleansing and changing, and fire is also warming and light, and it’s also dangerous, and killing, and very, very powerful. Fire tempers and fire melts. Fire is a force.

What is the fire in your life? What moves you, changes you, purifies you? Is it a gentle, comforting, small fire, or must you have a raging inferno? Do you fear that force of change, or do you welcome it? Do you know how to control it, or is it controlling you? And how do you answer that question for your own life? It’s very simple. What do you spend the most of your time doing? That’s the fire in your life. What do you spend the most of your time doing? And if you don’t know the answer to that, I highly recommend—although it’s not particularly a pleasant exercise—I highly recommend that you keep a diary of your hours. Illumined books of hours used to be a very popular sort of thing. Not exactly the same as what I’m talking about, but not all that far from it. Because it’s an opportunity for you to stay conscious for a day or two days or three days or a week. Depending on what your particular pattern of experience is, perhaps you’d need to keep it for a couple of weeks before you were really able to determine this is a pretty good view of what my life is like. And then look to see where you’re spending most of your time, because that’s your fire. What sort of fire is it? A cool fire (there are such things; the scientists in here know it). A controlled fire. A fire that feeds and is good. Or an uncontrolled fire, eating up your life and your time, without anything to show for it except the hope later on that something good can come out of this burned up life shrub.

A fire is passion in your life. How can you get the fire that’s good, the fire that feeds, the fire that creates freedom, the fire that releases from bondage, the fire that is controlled and powerful? How can you get that passion?

Tell me what passion is.

Strong emotions.

S: Strong emotions definitely can be a part of passion.


S: Desires can be a part of passion. What kind of desire? I desire chocolate cake. Could be. A passion for chocolate cake. Now, what’s the difference between those two?

Enthusiasm and intensity.

S: There it is: intensity. Intensity. What do you have intensity about in your life? What do you have passion for? “Samuel, wait; stop. I have spent many years learning to no longer be controlled by my passions. I now am in that great middle way. Nothing is too strong or too weak. Everything is perfectly centered.” Because uncontrolled passion drains you of energy, but controlled passion gives you energy.

Here’s an example of controlled passion: “I want D.C. so much that every time I see her, it’s just everything I can do to stop the hormones from raging.” Pretend you’re fourteen again, and you’ll be able to relate to this. (Sorry, darling, to use you this way.) “But I’ve got to keep a leash on it, because I know she that she has other experiences in life that don’t include me, and so I’m just going to not talk to her about it, and just hold it within me.” Leashed passion, controlled passion. And remember back when you were fourteen years old, and tell me what that sort of obsessive desire does to your energy levels. Nice, isn’t it? That’s right. All of a sudden you can stay up late and get up early, and it’s not hard at all. You can be so focused on getting done everything that you need to get done, so that you can have a bit more time to pine away for the love of your life. The passion feels good, and you find yourself just sort of lurking about in the neighborhood of your beloved’s house or your beloved’s presence, because it just is so much fire, it feels so alive. Anybody here remember that? Anybody here had it recently? Sure, hormones are definitely a means to passion, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the hormones of sexual contact.

There’s another version of it, too. Let’s see, how about, you are minding your own business riding in the airplane, and all of a sudden it begins a nosedive. Passion, all of a sudden, passion in your life, eh? Now, what’s that passion about?


S: And how do you feel with that passion? Very alive, don’t you think? Very alive. In fact, perhaps life becomes very precious to you in those few moments. But what is it you’re feeling? What’s going on? It’s also a hormonal rush, but a very different kind. I’m giving you all sorts of hints here. It’s your adrenalin. Your body’s saying, NO! And it’s unbridled, uncontrolled experience, and what do you tend to be left with after an adrenalin rush? You crash, exhausted. Maybe you have an upset stomach. Your heart beats very, very fast. Maybe you sweat. It’s not particularly pleasant. Well, your heart beats really fast when you’re after D.C., too. You might sweat when you’re after D.C., too. But it’s not the same altogether, is it? Because one is adding life to you, and the other one is taking life from you. In your life do you know the difference?

Ultimately, what I am saying is, there are all sorts of passions that are a part of your life, even for those of you who are absolutely convinced, I have no passion, I don’t know what it is. I’ll get to that in just a few moments.

There are all sorts of passions that you do respond to, but that’s just it: you are responding to them rather than creating them. Some of them—once you respond, you like what it is that it does for you, and so you do what you can to keep it going, but it doesn’t mean you are making it happen.

You do—in your life—you do that which you are impassioned about. Ugh! What is that saying? Go back to that three-day chart of your hours, and you’ll see what you’re impassioned about. You do what you are impassioned about. We’ve talked that passion is intensity, passion can be a rush, passion can be a chemical response.

Passion is the result of vision. And when you believe that that vision is reachable, it’s a passion that fills you. If you do not believe that vision is reachable, it’s a passion that feeds on you.

Can anybody give me an example, including using the ones I have given?

I’m wondering … it seems a connection with also compassion would be an act of connecting.

S: Compassion is passion led by the heart? Indeed.

I had a vision for most of my life that I wanted my home, my place to live, my nest. I just wanted it so bad; all my life that’s what I wanted—my family environment—and from there I could have whatever, various adventures. But I didn’t believe it was reachable, and so it just ate me up all the time. I never had the money, or things always were going wrong, or I was out of control with relationships. It was like there was no way I was ever going to make this happen.

S: Your life was proving to you constantly that your vision was not reachable.

Right, and so everything was just hard and it was miserable, and I always felt defeated. So finally I had enough, and I started looking at things differently and changing my beliefs, and looking at how I could release some of that belief and how I could make it change, and it doesn’t seem like major changes have happened, but yet my whole life has changed. And now I’m excited about the things that I’m doing and the control I have, and yet, if you looked at the thoughts, it’s a very similar life. But because my whole belief about has changed, and I believe I can do it now, it’s feeding. And so I’m excited each day what I can do to get toward that goal.

S: What’s made the difference, darling, in your being able to see yourself reaching it or seeing it just beyond your grasp? It’s not moved, but all of a sudden it’s reachable, rather than not.

The fear that I couldn’t get it has gone, the fear that I somehow had to make it happen, instead of just sort of releasing it and letting it be okay, however it came about, and not being so frantic in trying to feel like there was a certain message to get it. You know, just sort of do each day as it came up, and do the best .. and my focus changed. I decided that co-partnership …, that I had to take responsibility for what I knew, instead of letting the fear run me around like a little rodent in a cage on that wheel. And so when I started saying, what can I do? then a lot changed.

S: Self-responsibility, allowing you to stretch, allowing you to see what it is you can do, emphasizing that allows you to see that maybe you really can do this, too. Moving in that direction, seeing more success, more opportunity to change, to grow, to stretch, feeling more confidence, more trust, closer to it, closer to it.

Passion-killers? The sabotages in your life? Ultimately—Donna said it under one word: beliefs. The beliefs that say not enough, don’t deserve, can’t have. The beliefs that say it’s safer to be unclear than to specifically ask. Beliefs. The beliefs that work for you make you happy. The beliefs that aren’t working for you don’t. It’s that simple. You know my old joke. When you’re four years old, the belief that you’ve got to hold the hand of a responsible adult when you cross the street is good’ it makes you happy. But when you’re forty years old and you still cannot find a responsible adult to hold hands with, it makes you unhappy. It’s that simple. You sabotage your passion with beliefs that say don’t, can’t, should not, won’t work. Which have no proof behind them in your current experience. Sometimes should not is a good one. Sometimes cannot is an accurate one, but not all the time. And you kill your passion by not knowing the difference, not knowing when it’s inaccurate.

Passion is vision, but more than that—that next step—it’s your belief in that vision as something that is realistic for you. You get excited about getting what you want, don’t you? It’s fun to get what you want. You’ll cross the mountain barefoot if it takes you to Shangri-la, because you believe you really want what’s there. That’s another part of passion, of fire. You’ve got to want what the activity is going to give you. First rule of human form: Every action, every cause, has a reaction, has an effect. It’s called karma. What you do is going to create change; that’s it. Every action you take is going to have an end to it. That’s the rule; that’s how it works. It’s that simple. In everything that you do, every thought that you think is going to have an effect.

Passion, fire, vision, needs an effect you want for it to be passion-fire-vision that feeds you. So the next thing to look at is, in your life, what are you getting from this? Fill in the blank—any “from this.” What are you getting for the effort you’re putting out? Is it what you want? Is it worth it? Sweet souls, you don’t have enough time in this form to spend it doing that which does not feed you, cause you to laugh, allow you to rejoice, help you love. “Oh, but Samuel, wait. Right now I’m doing this job that I really don’t like. -I’m in this marriage I’m rally unhappy with. I’m in this living situation which is fairly intolerable.” Again, you fill in your blank. “But I’m staying in this work because it’s paying my bills and allows me to do the things that I want to do with a whole lot of freedom.” That works. That works, because your vision isn’t to spend the rest of your life in that job. Your vision is boosted by remaining there. There’s a difference, and your life needs to know that difference. Living 101, that’s what this is tonight, because Independence Day means breaking the bondage of maybe your foundation beliefs, breaking the bondage of your living for somebody else, hoping that they will give you what you are not giving yourself, breaking the bondage of perhaps a self-imposed tyranny that, don’t, or else.

I think it’s time to throw the tea in Boston Harbor. Time to use your passion to break free of the enslavement your own self has been giving you. The enslavement of fear, the enslavement of not enough, of don’t rock the boat, of don’t make waves, of don’t be any different. (Terrible thing to tell this group, isn’t it? Because you’re pretty different or you would not be here.) The enslavement of the everyday routine that most of the world thinks is plenty. The enslavement of enough.

Fire—fire—burns through [end of tape] And what does that mean in your life? You do not know what to get rid of if you do not know what works for you. If you don’t know what’s holding you back. You don’t know what your vision is if you don’t know what’s taking all of your time. At the very least, you don’t know what you don’t want it to be any more?

You’ve been so out of control for so long that that becomes normal, and normal isn’t so bad, except that normal is sometimes numb, and you’re tired of being numb. Because normal not only doesn’t cry really hard now and again; it also doesn’t laugh very hard now and again. Normal is safe, and it’s good to be safe, but you never see the rest of the country if you’re not willing, now and again, to move off the easy path.

Passion is the result of what you do coming together with what you want in a way that makes you happy. What you do coming together with what you want in a way that makes you happy. the action you take plus your vision—action toward that vision—with happiness. Your moment-by-moment personal joy. What makes you happy? What do you want? How are you spending your time? That’s what it is. The easy, easy words. What makes you happy? Because that’s what feeds you. And it doesn’t have to be an immediate, fed-right-now happiness. It’s all right to have that happiness that is a month or six months or a year or five years down the road, because your knowing that it gives you joy sustains you through the time of it. What makes you happy? What you’re doing, the actions that you’re taking. How are you spending your time? Along with what you want, what that vision is. It’s the way that you’re spending your time which is the bondage, leading you toward your vision, which is the fire, and giving you a life that you would consider happy.

What are ruts? You know what a rut is? A slow-digging grave. Not habit, but makes you happy. This makes passion.

What’s this?


S: Well, that’s maybe what you call it. It’s you. That’s what this is. And although I don’t believe that the proper question is, “And are you lit?”—I don’t think that’s right there. In the fireworks display, there are much louder, much more colorful, much more powerful fireworks, aren’t’ there? In fact, these sparklers—chemically coated sticks—are often the most simple, and yet, when you light this baby, you smile. When you watch somebody with it, you smile. A sparkler doesn’t fail. It’s consistent. You can count on it. You put some fire to it and it’s going to draw all of the eyes and make you smile. This is what your life with passion is about. You sparkle, you glow. You are delighted, and you bring delight all around you.

Would you serve, Sharon? Will you serve? Oh, sure you will. And also Heidi, eh? And let’s see, over here. Martin, come up. You can do this. (She says, no, please, don’t make me.) Would you give these out over here. Thank you, dear.

This week, my friends, think about your passion, the fire that keeps you going, that which sustains you, that which gives you life. Think about what you’re doing, what you’re wanting, and what makes you happy. Remember that the passion that adds to your life, that meets those requirements feeds you. The passion that drops from the heavens, is an internal reaction, you have no particular control of it: it feeds on you.

Sweet souls, you are not here simply to be a light in this world. It’s not enough. You’re here to be a firework, a work of sparkling fire.


Happy, happy trails, my friends. Glochanumora.

If you put it on a shelf and don’t ever use it, this night has been one more way to spend time, one more way to avoid passion, one more way to keep on exactly as you are right now. If it would not work, I would not give it. But you’ve got to do it.

Happy trails.