September 4, 2011

Samuel: Hello, dears.

Hello, Samuel.

S: But thank you very much. Sallie said, “Well done.” I thought so.

So, after last month, what did you learn about yourself? And for those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to when I say “last month,” you didn’t see the stream, or you were not present, think about your last month and it still works the same.

What have you learned about yourself this last month?

I find that it’s a constant struggle, and yet every time I can focus on the good stuff coming my way, whether it’s gifts, or people, or good thoughts, or bringing to my awareness good things, I always felt better. But it’s something you work on all the time. It doesn’t just happen one time; you have to do it.

S: I hate that part!

But I learned that the more I trusted that, the more synchronicity seemed to just always happen—a perfect moment, a call, a text, an email would show up right when I needed it to help me stay focused on the good stuff.

S: You are not only surrounded in love, but you are absolutely surrounded with healing angels. Just say yes. Your energy looks very good, actually. It’s impressive. Aye.

The activity that you gave us to do, to have a different stream, a list of joys every day: what was wonderful about it was I discovered each night was a different stream of joy that were all connected, that began with the earliest memory of that particular joy. It took me through decades and it gave me this almost encyclopedic vision of all the wonderful joys in my life and all the things I can access. So much I’d forgotten about. And it was really great. Each night was a different journey as far as those. It was like thread or a stream of joy. It was great.

S: Brilliance was it. Brilliance. Mary.

Looking back on when you said what are the favorite moments that you can remember from a young age, I look back on my childhood and those aren’t what pop out. When you said that, all of a sudden I had like five, and seven, and ten. It was so neat that I could call on those so quickly. Several of them had to do with the same people. So what I did was I put calls in to them. And I told them how much I appreciated the things that they did.

S: Really nice. Really nice. And it’s a blessing for both that way. Really good.

Aye, Steven.

When I looked back, a lot of my memories were me expressing through the physical. Stretching myself whether it was running as fast as I could—the exhilaration of that—or holding my breath for as long as I could under water. And for the past month, I’ve been revitalizing my physical self. And there’s a part of me that’s in judgment of that. On one hand, not. That’s physical, that’s not spiritual. But, I know better; there’s still just that little thing in there.

S: And it won’t go away, so don’t look for it. Don’t set yourself into one of those judgment things of, “Well, when it no longer speaks to me I’ve got it.“ That’s not true. As long as you’re in form, the physical self is going to resist. But . . .

I realized everything I do expresses through this physical form, so it’s kind of silly to make that judgment.

S: That’s huge, you know. It’s one of those things that’s very hard to accept in this experience. Very hard, because what you want to think is spiritual is pretty much anything that’s way outside of this realm. You want it to be those—we need an angelic chorus to decorate this part of the statement—you want it to be those non-mundane activities and yet why you are here is to make use of the highest function of spirit, functioning through form, managing to be a part of this world and doing all the mundane things spiritually.

Consciousness is everything. It’s a hard one to get, and the higher frequency you work at, the harder it is to get it. Why would that be? You’d think the higher frequency you worked at, the easier it would be to do that, wouldn’t you?

More aware-ized of every little nuance of yourself, which you have put a lot of energy toward directing so that that is this constant wheel that you are working upon. And you come around and meet yourself all the time; it seems that way. I often think to myself we have something in our life that we’re trying to change it. But that something, once it’s there it’s there. Recognize it, and as it comes around again, certain circumstances bring that right up to the surface and you’re thinking, “I thought I took care of that.

S: “I thought I was finished with that, I thought it was over!”

And you’re never finished with that. It’s never over. But in this form, you have that in the blueprint. It’s there! I’m guessing you have to do deal with it differently, recognize it and get on with it. I used to have a song and dance with that, you know. Each time you should put a little less energy to it.

S: Yes, yes. And that’s very much the key. Gwendolyn said every time it comes back around, you put less and less energy to it, and as you put less and less energy to it, you’re more quickly able to recognize it and let it go.

Now part of exercises I’ve given you, perhaps just very recently, had to do with also remembering those things that weren’t so great in your life so that you could recognize the patterns of that which is not your greatest strength or be able to find your strengths through that end of the pattern. How does that happen? How is it that works, that you can think about four or five memories of things that you hope never will happen again and that’s going to tell you about talents you have? Gifts—gifts for messing up, maybe? How is it that it shows you that? Marion.

Well, with me, it’s part of the same function. It’s just expressing it kind of in an opposite pole.

S: Precisely so.

And if I recognize the function, I’ll probably find that function in both the positive and the negative emotional experiences in my life.

S: Right. Everything that you think, everything that you do works on a line, more or less. You’ve got the extremes. Really good! Really bad! And you want to be functioning in balance in the middle, right? But when you’re looking at those things that did not work out, you are looking at those things that, as Marion said, in another perspective are the same thing that at the other end is very, very good.

You’re also—you can look at the events or the times in your life that weren’t good, but to me, it’s your response to it that makes it a positive pattern.

S: Good, good. When you come to that place in your life that you’re able to control your responses, when you are no longer living in the land of reaction, when you control how you choose to express yourself rather than be controlled by emotions or other people’s beliefs or thoughts, then you’ve made a very huge leap. It’s not that what other people think doesn’t matter; it’s not that, is it? But when you build your life on that, it’s because you’re being lazy. You’re choosing not to know what you think about it, not to dig in and find out what’s meaningful to you. And in this life, there’s so many things that make it very, very easy to keep you from ever looking into your own self. And that ultimately is one of the scariest things that most people ever deal with, and that’s why they spend so much time resisting it, fighting it. Looking on the outside is a lot easier than looking on the inside, because if you don’t like something on the outside, well, you can repaint it. If you don’t like something on the inside, what are you going to do?

I’m almost embarrassed to tell you this, but I saw a movie the other night. I don’t know if you would know the character, but I’m sure most of the people here know. There’s a gentleman that plays the part, he’s a black man, he plays the part in the movie of a lot of different characters, and one of his characters is called Madea. You hear some giggles. I saw the movie “Madea’s Family Reunion,” and it was my alter ego. Madea forces everything that she wants to happen, anybody that’s around her—you know, the bulldozing thing. And you can look back on it and say, “Gosh, that worked pretty well for me for a long time.” But I had to laugh because I thought somewhere in my heart of hearts that is the method I prefer rather than . . . I would like to control things, I would like to make people do what I want them to do, and yet I know that can’t be.

S: Anybody else in here find that you sort of feel that way, too, that life would just be a whole lot easier if everybody did what you wanted them to? Well, yes, just raise your hand. Bonnie, turn around and look. You see, you’re in very good company. Some of that company is being forced to admit it, but still.

I think it would be a whole lot easier if Bonnie controlled everything. (Laughter)

Madea is a very large gentleman in women’s garb, and he picks up a skillet and he whacks people with it. And I thought, “You know, that worked for me in the past. And sometimes . . .”

S: Social services were very different then.

And sometimes, I can see how humorous it is but realize that worked, that being a bulldozer works in a lot of ways. And I find now I can see it and know that it’s there, and stuff it. You know, just find a different way.

S: Wow. Wow.

I think we know why nobody sits next to her, though. (Laughter)

S: Afraid that the engine might get turned on, “Oh, no!”

And that’s a very lovely example of how your awareness of what works and what does not work makes a huge difference in your life. You get control that you naturally want when you choose your responses rather than be the victim of your reactions to what’s going on around you, and you become capable of driving the bulldozer or being run over by it. Good work.

There’s some things going on right now that I know you are noticing. And it’s not just the energy that’s coming through making it tingle or something. It’s not just this is the time of year; you’re coming upon the time of year in which you have the autumnal equinox coming, a time of bringing balance and harvesting what you’ve been sowing. You’re in that second half of the year, harvesting at any rate. It’s that you, you—not the “who you are” but the “what you are”—you are making more rapid changes than you have been doing in years. Now truth be told, not all of those changes are good ones. Some of you are going through a lot of difficulty, pain, challenges; you’re having your beliefs pushed. Your handy little walls that keep people out—you’re beginning to feel kind of claustrophobic, not realizing you were keeping yourself in when you built that wall to keep people out.

Very quickly, before I go into this—why would a Guardian build a wall around the heart? Frank?

Well, it’s a defense mechanism. I think Guardians tend to be—I think I’ve found myself, rather than being compassionate, I would let myself be more empathetic. I’d take on the pains and sorrows, not know where to draw boundaries with people, when to say no, know when to stop being the doormat. So it’s much easier to not let people get that close to you.

S: Because it’s a lot easier. Because it’s a lot easier. Very, very true. Suzanne?

Guardians, especially before they know they’re Guardians, may feel things a lot, are very sensitive in that way. And so to survive and to be what they need to be, like everybody else, they build some protection around themselves so they can go through life and survive. I have to tell you that I resisted for many years the title of “Guardian” because I just didn’t feel I was that loving. I’d been told all my life I was not, so I kind of embraced that, so there it was. I think it’s actually more common for Guardians to build walls than others.

S: Lakshmi.

Samuel, Sanat says, “To keep from getting heart attacks.”

S: Very true in more than one way. Aye. Marion.

Something that occurred to me is that many of us have had painful experiences in other time frames with different projections but maybe the same life lessons, with being taken out of this world by humans who didn’t appreciate what we were trying to offer. And that’s not a blame statement; it’s just fact. And sometimes that pain seems to come out of nowhere. I found I can trip over it from time to time in addition to some of the other issues I’ve created in this lifetime.

S: And so what do you do to break walls down? Lillibeth?

You look for ways to trust.

S: Look for ways to trust. Say that one more time.

You look for ways to trust.

S: And how do you do that?

Well, I think it’s kind of trial and error. There are places . . .

S: “Wait, wait, wait! Trial and error isn’t a good thing, because you could make a mistake. And if you make a mistake everyone could hate you. Quick! Build a few more rows on that wall.” Trial and error, too hard, too hard. And yet . . .

It works.

S: Yes, it does. Stuart?

I was going to say with baby steps.

S: Yes. It goes further than that, though. Mary?

It kind of goes with the trial and error. It’s practice. I have to practice in different situations. How did things work? If they didn’t work out so well, then how do I practice and figure out if I can do it differently and try . . . if I’ve already broken down my walls, try not to build a new one.

S: Consciousness.

And practice. Be aware of what I’m doing and how I’m doing. And it’s okay if I’m not perfect at it.

S: And that’s a hard one, isn’t it?

I hate it.

S: David and then Heidi.

A lot of us have put up the walls because the trust was violated, so it’s kind of hard to turn around and say, “Well, I’ll trust,” to take down the walls, because that’s why they’re there in the first place. But, one of the biggest tools there is forgiveness. And the easiest way to forgive that I’m looking at is to say, “You know what? It sucks more to carry this around with me than it does to forgive.” And I’ve been making some great strides with that because it’s been a tremendous burden, carrying around the problems. Trust does then have to be earned in small baby steps. Forgiveness and trust doesn’t mean you forget everything. If every time I lend Fred a hundred dollars he never gives it back, it doesn’t mean I should trust him for the next hundred dollars. Unless I like giving money to Fred, in which case I need to understand I’m not really loaning money to Fred—I’m giving it to him—and be okay with that. Something like that.

S: Forgiveness starts the healing process. And remember, you are usually leaving out the two main players that need forgiveness. Forgiving Source, forgiving self. “Wait, Samuel, don’t you think it’s a bit egotistical to say that you’ve got to forgive Source?” Why would you forgive Source? Frank?

I dealt with that some with my dad’s death and what he went through. I realized that I had to forgive Source for letting that situation come about, because I had been blaming. And I realized that there was the thinking, the reactions, the emotions that, “It shouldn’t have to be like this. It shouldn’t be like this. Why is it happening to my dad? Why is it happening to me? Why am I having to deal with this?” For me I realized it was till I forgive Source for letting it happen, I have a big block there.

S: Aye. That’s a good part of it. Anyone else with that one? Aye.

It’s forgiving the separation. And for me—answer to your previous question—trust is also trusting me there.

S: Yes. And forgiving Source is forgiving yourself as well. And it’s when you are able to recognize that that you get on the fast track of that healing process.

But where I was going with it was, most people leave out healing forgiveness as a function of forgiving Source and forgiving self. They think of it as just forgiving that other who did me wrong. But having done that, you’ve got to remember that it’s a process, and not to do that microwave-society thing in which you want it all to be finished and complete, right here, right now.

Which brings us back to where we started because, as Gwendolyn just said, it’s never really done. It comes back up in a different way, and in a different way, and a different way.

Heidi was after David?

I think there’s a huge amount of fear that there won’t be anything to replace the wall, and that letting go really doesn’t mean not having.

S: Yes. Well Said. Cam.

I’m thinking of joy and allowing oneself to embrace or experience those things in life that bring that sense of joy. Because I think with me a lot of distrust I’ve felt has been of myself and what I’m making of myself in my life. And when I’m not allowing my passions, joys, simple moments to blossom into that more lifting experience, then I develop a distrust of myself and the world around me. And then when I allow those joys and experiences to grow more in my life, and I also look for how I share that kind of love with other people, and kind of build on that, I find that trust builds in a lot of relations and in the world.

S: Beautifully said, beautifully said.

Steven, and then I’m moving on.

I think one of the first things that has to happen is for me to realize that the wall is there not because of others; it’s there because I built it. It may have been in response to somebody doing a dirty, evil thing, but that was probably way back then. And so I need to look to see if what protected me then I need protection from now.

S: Yes.

And if I built it, I can un-build it.

S: Right.

Sibling rivalry is a famous thing in this society, yes? Pretty much everybody knows what sibling rivalry is and very often you know it because you experienced it one way or the other. And it’s the natural process of children—or really anybody put together in a very close space—going through that process of growing and learning and changing and judging oneself by what the other one’s doing—and either overcoming it or not. It’s that whole experience. But it tends to stick with you. And even when you do not any longer have a sibling that you’re sharing a bedroom with, or a house with, there you are an adult—maybe an adult who has their own children—and you still get set off by those same things. And you still react to the same stuff, and you still seek those same kinds of responses out of, well, maybe your adult sibling or just adult you’re living with, or any adult you happen to be around, because most of you learned to deal with relationships with an equal by way of your siblings. “Samuel, I don’t have any, never did.” And you learned those relationships in a longer way, but though school and so forth. But for most people, outside of your parents, because even a child knows parents are different, that’s a different kind of relationship. “I don’t have to judge myself by the tall people.” You learn to function in relationships the way you functioned with your brothers or sisters. Now, frankly, I find that sort of scary. Because what that is saying is that you are building your relationships as an adult with a whole lot of the same qualities that you used when you were building your relationships as a child. And yet the whole game was different then. Or was it? Not only because some adults still live back then, and all of the therapists in here know exactly what I’m talking about there, but also because—I’m going to say that rude thing again so get ready—because most humans are lazy and they would rather not make changes and they stick with what they know rather than look within and make changes. It’s very hard living in a world in which you are surrounded with people who think that the most important thing going on today is “Dr. Who.”

He’s the only one I could come up with. And the form says “That one’s pretty important. You should come up with another.”

A child looks at those around and is either challenged to be better or made afraid, thinking they are worse than what they see of an equivalent around them. When you were a child, you looked at your schoolmates, your brothers and sisters, and if they could throw a baseball this far, you wanted to throw it farther. And if you come to game night at Phoenix, you can see that there are still people living in that. Oops. They were smart, you were smarter. Or worse: if it was the older siblings, and you were smart but they were smarter, then you spent your life judging yourself because you thought you weren’t very smart. Maybe you got told that; and it’s not who you are now, and no relationship will last when based on those standards.

How do you build a good relationship?


S: Therapy helps. Very often, therapy helps. One of the first things that you do to build a good relationship, and this is with anybody—the grocery clerk, your lover, your spouse, doesn’t matter: you start by finding what is in common. And then you take a look at it. Is what you have in common positive or negative? You’re standing at the cosmic bar and somebody comes up and starts to make small talk. What do you do? What are you about? If you judge yourself negatively because of what you do, then when somebody’s looking to find something in common with you, you’re going to start pushing away before it ever starts. I see that happen more with Guardians and their spiritual lives than anything else, holding them back from some amazing relationships because they don’t know how to explain that your spiritual life is not necessarily a religious life. That “I’m here in this world to live love, consciously, the best I can, where I am, with what I have at the moment” doesn’t sound quite acceptable when you talk to somebody who believes that spiritual life is about being inside the temple on Saturday or Sunday morning. When what you have in common is that which is not mundane, that which is beyond this stuff [pulls at skin] but instead this stuff [touches heart]—not a part of the brain, a part of the heart—you are going to create a different relationship.

But you can still have relationships that don’t have that spiritual context if there are parts of your lives that don’t have spiritual context. “Wait Samuel, every part of my life is affected by the spiritual being that I am.” Darn it! And yet, there are people in your life that never get any further with you than weather, than how much money you make, and what clothes you wear, and what you watch on television, and what movie you’ve been to. The surface. And if that wall around your heart is high enough, that feels good and you don’t mind—and your spiritual self is starving.

When a relationship has that in common—a spiritual self in common—does that mean you have to believe the same things? No. Does it mean you have to go to the same place? No. But if you want a relationship that takes in all of you, then you’re going to have to uncover the cloak over your spiritual self, and if you want it to be the best possible, then you want to have that in common. But the first step, no matter what kind of relationship you’re going for, is what is in common.

Second step to a good relationship is to know what you want and what you don’t want. “Samuel, that really sounds like it should be first.” No, because if you don’t have enough in common, you’re not going to get to the “here is what I want and here is what I don’t want.”

And the third thing that takes you there is your willingness to move outside of your comfort zone. And if it’s any help, I would label your comfort zone “the judgment zone.” My comfort zone is based on what I think I’m capable of managing. You’ve got to move outside of that. Otherwise, even if you have the most important things in common, even if there is much of what you like and not very much of what you don’t like, even under the best of circumstances, you’ll find that there’s just nothing there. Getting outside of yourself means going to lunch. It means meeting at a pub, an opening for art, a performance. Stepping outside of your comfort zone.

Many of you have been with this work for a long time. Didn’t you have to step outside of your comfort zone—sort of like going to the circus? And you had to step outside your comfort zone to see, “Is there anything here I’m interested in?” And you found that there was. The same way that you were able to step outside your comfort zone in what I would tell you is the most important area of your life, why is it so hard to do that in any other area?

In The Guardianship Program, there’d been an exercise: “Do something new every day.” What’s new in your life? How are you stretching? How are you moving outside of the way it’s always been?

Noki’s making the rounds. Making sure that all the little sheep are in a good herd. She’s a shepherd. Looking to see if anyone else needs to be led from one room to the other. I’m watching her go like this, through the aisles, then go around, then go through, “I know you, I know you, I don’t know you. All right, I know you, I know you . . .” Dogs are great aren’t they?

And why am I going through all of this stuff? And just in case it seems oddly placed, I will tell you what we’ve discussed. Stuart?

I think many of us feel we’re here to make a difference in the world, and it’s hard to do that if you have walls just keeping the world at bay and protecting yourself from sharing parts of yourself that might make a difference.

S: That’s right. The walls that you build to keep people out, the difficulties with creating strong relationships, because of those walls, how those walls got there, there are ways you can let them go, and why does it matter now? Why am I pushing it now? Well, the reason is because over the last couple of months you have been learning more about self than you ever have, because the nature of the energy right now is showing you what you’re about. For some of you it’s been very painful, and for some of you it’s been nice. You are seeing the best of you and the worst of you these days more than ever before. And because of that, you’re falling back into security systems that keep you safe, so that you don’t have to be hit with it all at once. And that’s going to hurt you. It’s already hurting you. You are a being of pure Source love, and anything in your life that’s not a perfect reflection of that gives you a brick. And over these last couple of months you have been given the gift of seeing what needs to change and what can stay.

But you’re not taking action. Recognizing it isn’t enough. You’ve got to do something with it. And the action has been sprinkled on here and there—looking for joy, that deep, love-filled self. Tone because it builds you. Laugh. Some time ago there was something that went about saying something to the effect of, “You’ve got to have seven or nine hugs a day.” You remember that? But really, you’ve got to laugh. Joy-filled laughter—seven, or eight, or nine times a day. You’ve got to push those boundaries as often as you can and realize that, although there may have been a time they were useful, now is not that time. Do something different, spontaneous, playful, every day. And this sounds so simple and it sounds familiar even. I promise. I wouldn’t be pushing it if you were doing it. It’s that you’re not.

Next month there is going to be a massive change in your world. I’m claiming it to be so.

A good one?

S: Depends if you’re a plant or an animal. They might not think so. A massive change. And a lot of eyes and minds and hearts will be more open because of it.

Is this because of the work in India?

S: Yes, and the working here. If you don’t know how to be strong and happy and a magnificent being of light and love, one of the greatest changes this world has made in eons is going to just float right by you. And one of the greatest opportunities for creating strong relationships is going to float right by you. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason is all about your best, highest good. As far as the Universe is concerned, everything revolves around you. But that does not mean that you always know what’s best for you, because you have a tendency to judge everybody the way you learned as a child, to feel whole and strong when you’re getting your way. This is change beyond that.

There will not be a change in the plant and animal kingdom that does not profoundly affect you. You cannot throw a rock in this pond without a lot of ripples. But you will definitely see it in the way you commune with them.

I talked to somebody recently who thought it was easier to have a relationship with a garden than with a person, with a dog or a cat than a person. And that’s just hiding. You must be what you are to make the best use of who you are.

All right. A lot more pushing than usual, eh? A lot more “stand you on the edge of the cliff and knock you over.” Maybe a little too serious for some, but there’s a lot of need in this room tonight: open hearts without any knowledge of what to do with it; closed hearts without any caring that that’s the case.

If there is a piece of you that would like to live in a better world, a piece of you that would like to be happier and more functional, I just handed you the script. Start over. Make it work. Because, come the end of this year, you’re either going to be exactly where you are right now, and who you are right now, or you’re going to get it and be that empowered being that you said you would. There’s no need to wait. Start now. Laugh while you eat [at the reception]. I will go.