October 2, 1994

Samuel: Well, greetings, dears.

Greetings, Samuel.

S: Good. Good. Aye. Aye.

You know the truth is, this is one of my very favorite parts of the whole evening. It really is. You’re sitting there just thinking loving thoughts—most of you—and these eyes haven’t focused in enough at any particular point to be able to do anything other than just see the nature of the energy, some very familiar energy. It’s good, good for the heart. Aye.

Gifts. Good. All right.

I’ve been having gifts coming rapid-fire so I’m going to take the one that follows up to what your talk was last month.

S: Trouts.


S: Aye.

I have a professor on my committee who is a very big trout in the United States research. And I didn’t know how much effect that I have when I take issue with somebody when I don’t agree, when I see what I believe and know to be true in my field. Sometimes I butt in all the time, sometimes I don’t. This is one of those times when I did.

S: Such a rare occurrence, you know.

I tend to keep my mouth shut a lot. I had a class with him six years ago, and he was giving us all this research information, and I was getting tired of numbers, so I said, “So what?” And never thought about so what. A couple of weeks later I said, “My opinion about what you’re doing is hogwash, and this is what I’ve seen with kids.” We were talking about substance abuse. And that conversation, it turned out—I found out last week—has changed all of his research, which means that all the research in the United States is [. . .], because he said that where we’re going is the wrong direction in substance abuse, and we need to look at schools. And that the major issue in disease control is now plain violence, which is epidemic in the schools, and doesn’t have to be. And he’s going to prove it. And I don’t have to do it.

S: Tell me again your gift there.

The gift was that I threw something in the puddle six years ago, and the ripples have gone out so that it’s now going to be a national research project. And he gives international presentations.

S: You never know the effect one life can have until you live it. But when you are in the midst of living that one life, you never know the effect that one experience, or one word, can have. A whole lot of the power there, my love, is that you got to find out the touch you had. And a whole lot of that gift is that you were willing to put out what was right for you in a situation that is usually clouded with fear of speaking out, quite a willingness to be less than and not share opinions of, and it’s going to change things. Hallelujah.

Aye, give it to me, Cynthia.

I have a gift that is a most unexpected gift, and the gift is that I don’t love my mother.

S: Well.

If anybody knows me, I’ve spent thirty years from [. . .] to any therapy I could find, searching for the block in myself that would permit me to love my mother. And so I was constantly blaming me, looking at me, putting [. . .] theories, constant magnifying glasses on me, feeling very guilty about that block, until one day recently a very good friend of mine helped me to see that I don’t love her. And in pondering that and in getting sick over it, and still resisting it, another friend [. . .] I let go of it, and in that instant I discovered that by not [. . .] realization, I’m able to love her.

S: [. . .]

Thank you.

S: Good. Good. Well, you know it was not that Cynthia did not love her mother, but if love is that which accepts all things, gives all things, and Cynthia had found that due to amazing experiences in her childhood that I hope none of you would ever have to experience, she could not accept all things, and, therefore, that must mean then that she does not have love, right? And what was warring within was that self that said well, now, if this is what love is, it’s not what I have, and therefore I must not love my mother. But I must love my mother, because there is also that part that does absolutely, totally love her. And how can this be, this great war?

Cynthia’s gift, my love, is that she was willing to create a new definition, one that allowed inclusion, and that’s power. Love includes, doesn’t it? But when the definition that the world gives is, “Well, if they’re not nice to you, that’s not love so you should not love back,” well, it makes for pretty crazy children doesn’t it? Aye, you work with them all the time.

It is only when you are willing to give up your definition of that which is too small that you ever get to have the gift of that which is much larger. Good work. Don’t thank me, my love. You’re the one who does the work.

So here it is coming into a very, very important time. What is it?

Heidi’s birthday.

S: Indeed? Aye.

Halloween is Heidi’s birthday.

S: Aye, well that’s certainly something that we’re coming into. How about, generally speaking, this time of year?


S: Thank you. Yes. Yes. That’s it. It is autumn, and what is autumn about?


S: Harvest. All right. What is harvest about?

Reaping what you’ve sown.

S: Reaping what you sow. Yes, indeed, it is about that. That is true. That’s true. It is about reaping what you’ve sown. On a human level, what might that be a message about, reaping what you sow?

Cause and effect.

S: Cause and effect, yes.


S: Payback. Consequences. Any other way to [. . .] that?


S: Sure.


S: Manifestation. Yes. Good for you.

One of the greatest things that humans can ever learn in their journey through this life is that everything you do has an effect. That is the trout pond illustration from when last we were together like this. Everything you do has an effect. You are powerless in this world, absolutely powerless—wimpy—in this world . . . give me more words. Wimpy. Powerless.


S: Ineffectual, thank you.


S: And pathetic. I like that one. Pathetic.

And whiny.

S: And whiny. Where is Kay? Helpless. In this world . . . again?


S: Wretched. Pathetic and wretched. Yes. Yes, those are the twins, aren’t they? The self-pity twins. We have Pathetic and Wretched. You are absolutely powerless in this world, and all of those other words, until you are able to choose what you sow, aren’t you? Now, what have I just said? I have said everything that there is to do is not fun if you don’t have any choice about the outcome. That’s true, isn’t it? When you are stuck at the whims of the Universe . . . this is not a trick question, you don’t have to start running it through saying, “Well now there are certain circumstances where you just do want to let go and see what happens.”

You’re getting spiritual on me here. That’s not what we’re doing. Cut that out. It’s a bad habit. It is. Really. When you try to turn everything into what would be the most spiritual thing, usually what you’re doing is following somebody else’s version of what your life should be. What is the most spiritual thing is often very, very different from what is the most loving thing, what is the most . . . the highest, the best use of who I am at this moment in this situation. Remember, the most spiritual thing was to slaughter the Moors in the Crusades. The most spiritual thing has a whole lot to do with the particular enemy at the moment, don’t you think? Spirituality is living your physical and your mental—be that how you think, your emotions, your creativity—to the very highest level of love you are capable of at the moment. That is what makes something spiritual. Traditional ideas of spirituality tend to be, If you do this and if you do this and if you do this, then perhaps this will happen. How many in this world have found that if you do this and this and this, that doesn’t always happen? Amazing, isn’t it? Aye. Free will rules again. I tried to outvote it.

What I am saying is unless you have an ability to determine what you’re getting, it’s not worth having. Who’s in charge of what happens for you? Who is in charge of what goes on in your life? Who is in charge of the experiences that you have? How many of you think the answer is myself? Don’t answer that, you’ll be embarrassed. No, you know better than that. In this world you don’t have a whole lot of power over the circumstances of your life. “Samuel! What are you teaching here? I have come here to learn about empowerment. What are you saying? I have listened to you for . . . ,” how many years, Frank?

Ten years.

S: “. . . ten years now, and all of a sudden you are saying I have no power over the circumstances in my life.” I believe that’s one of those contradictions. Write it down, Samuel contradiction number forty-seven. There’s plenty. What is it I’m saying? Anybody flowing along the drift of where I’m going here? Give it to me, Jim.

You have power to act and to choose what you put out, but you don’t have the power to have the result of the act.

S: Yes and no. Let’s see if it can be made clearer, just a bit clearer than that. Frank.

The individuals that surround us determine what happens in our lives by the result of their free will.

S: Oh, don’t you just hate that? Don’t you just hate that? There you are, minding your own business, being the most spiritual driver on the road, and some absolute idiot runs a traffic light and dents your car.

Runs you into a concrete wall.

S: Which then runs you into a concrete wall. Goodbye, car; hello, life. And that’s life. Don’t forget it.

You do the best you can where you are with what you have at the moment. You’re a good little soldier. You are happy, you do your five-minute meditation, you are part of the Tracks Program—that’s a sure sign, don’t you think? You are kind and yet things happen that you have no control of, because, goodness knows, you would not have chosen to run into that concrete barrier on your own, would you? You would not have chosen to be fired from your work, would you? You would not have chosen to . . . name something; everyone of you have quite a list. And my point, my love, is, of course you would not have chosen that. You’re not an idiot, are you? Because you don’t have control over what happens to you. You only have control over how you happen to it. You only have control over how you happen to it. That is where your power is, in your choice to act.

But wait a minute here, can’t your choice to act affect some of the things that happen to you? Absolutely. Absolutely. But anything that goes on in your life that has another person involved changes the dynamics. Guess what happens on this planet? Everything you do has someone else involved, in one way or another.

So how can you make choices that will allow you to have the harvest you desire? Let’s talk about growing squash. All right. That’s a particularly great vegetable when you’re talking about humanity, don’t you think? Let’s talk squash, because so many of you have felt like one of those before—very squashed.

What you do is you go out and you get a cutting from a squash tree. Correct so far? And you put it into perhaps a vase of water, hoping that that squash tree will then create a new system of roots, which you will then put into the soil and it will grow a great squash tree for you, right?


S: Not?

A vine.

S: It’s a vine, it’s not a tree? My goodness. Then what is it that you need to do in order to plant a squash vine?

Get a seed from an old squash.

S: Get a seed . . . say it again.

Get a seed from an old squash.

S: You get a seed from a, hopefully not a particularly old one, maybe a fairly healthy one, but you get a seed from a squash fruit. Fruit? You get a seed from a living plant. Everything—premise number one—that you are going to create at all in your life is going to be just like what you drew it from. Now that ought to be a pretty scary thought. Everything that you are choosing to grow in your life, everything in your life that you are choosing to grow, the seed of it comes from something you have already experienced; it comes from something just like it already in your life.

That says several things. One of the things that that says is, number one, look to your current experiences now, and learn to harvest the best of the crop. Learn to propagate and take care of the things you want to duplicate in your life. And be willing to fearlessly thin out and get rid of that which is diseased or not producing as efficiently as you would like it to. Simple statements. Not so easy when it’s your life, though, is it? What if it’s your child that needs a bit of pruning? What if your child is your job? What if your child is your very happy belief that somebody is going to be out there ready and willing to take care of you, and therefore you don’t have to take care of yourself. Well, if that is fruit that’s working for you and nourishing you, don’t get rid of it. But if that’s fruit that’s getting a bit bitter, that’s more pith than power—I talk in bumper stickers, I cannot help it—then perhaps it’s time to begin pruning a bit in order to save the rest of the crop.

Another thing that it says is that you get that seed of something you desire to do, to accomplish, to have, to be, you get that seed from something that looks like it, but what if you are actually wanting a much better squash than where that seed came from. Is it possible to have a better second generation than it is a first generation? Is it possible that you can—bumper sticker time again—take lemons and make lemonade in life? Is it possible that you can take something that does not look so wonderful and make something better out of it?


S: Yes, it is possible to do that, but only if what?

If you change something else that you’re doing with it. In the case of the squash, a fertilizer may do it.

S: Good.

Or watering. Something you have that you do with that, you change it.

S: Because if you grow that first generation and it wasn’t so wonderful, but you want to try again with the second, it means you’re dealing with the same foundational formula.

You were reared in the same household as your siblings. Why are you so normal and they are not? They ask the same thing. You got the same teaching. Why did you get it and someone else did not? You did the same good stuff to it; why did it not thrive? What’s the answer there?

It has nothing to do with one seed being better than another. It has everything to do with your learning to do two things. And the first, most important one is to experiment, to be willing to try something new, to set up a little lab in your life that says maybe it needs a bit more exercise. Well, not a squash, but you might. Maybe it needs to be fed better. Maybe it needs a bit more attention.

And the second thing is to be willing to change your traditional pattern to allow what you learned to be useful. To be willing to change your traditional pattern. You just tear up the earth and you throw them in, you cover it back over and you say, “Good luck!” and go your way, and a couple of months later you’ll start having little squash babies. Except that you found that the squash babies you had were not exactly what you were wanting. If you are willing to let go of the traditional that did not work, to experiment, to find out what might work, and then—no guarantees—willing to give it a try, you might have better results the second time than you did the first time. But, darlings, that’s pretty easy in regard to a garden, but pretty hard in regard to a life. Nonetheless, that’s the bottom line of the miracle.

One of the things that it helps when you’re wanting to sow squash is that very beginning point, knowing that it’s squash you’re wanting to sow, and knowing that it’s not likely to come off of a tree is the second version of it. The first part is knowing what it is you’re wanting to grow. What is it you are wanting to grow?

And ultimately what I’m wanting to talk to you about growing this night isn’t squash, it is friendship. Friendship, because it is a very rare thing to be greatly treasured. And one of the things that many of you are lacking in your life—I won’t ask you to raise your hand if I have said to you get a life, because it would embarrass you—the reason that you don’t get a life is because, why bother, there’s nobody to share it with. And ultimately the reason that there is nobody to share it with is because you have forgotten how to make friends. How brave are you, darling? Real brave? Brave enough to come up here real fast? Just real fast?


S: Yes. Sure. Just quickly. No, that’s you. Just quick. Aye. Do you know what he has that most of you do not?

A cap.

A hat.

S: A great hat, yes. Guts, yes. Thank you, darling. Fearlessness. And that makes friends. Fearlessness. That makes friends. If you are wanting to harvest friends, what do you need to do? We just went over this, but we were talking about squash. All right. Maybe you have therefore forgotten. Give it to me, Maggie.

Plant some friend seeds.

S: Yes! Plant some friend seeds. I like that. And what does it require to plant some friend seeds?

An old friend to get them from.

S: Frank said an old friend to get them from. And, all right, although he is being somewhat silly there, he is making a good point. What is the point, though, Frank?

You look at what’s worked in the past to make friends for you, in childhood, in early adulthood, and use those traits again.

S: You look to see what it was that worked in the past, you know, the good old days when you had friends. You know, darlings, I am not saying that you are antisocial beings, that you don’t have friends, but I am pointing out a couple of things. One of them is what you settle for tends to be acquaintances, rather than friends. And that as one gets older there tends to be fewer and fewer and fewer, which is, by the way, directly parallel to that experience of growing the walls around you to keep you safe in the big, bad world, growing those walls higher and higher and higher. It’s harder for adults to scale the walls that a child sees as no true obstacle.

For those of you who have children, or remember your own childhood, tell me how a child makes friends. Jennifer.

They go up and start talking.

S: One thing they do is they just go up and start talking. About what?


S: Anything. What stops you from doing that?

Feeling silly.

S: Feeling silly.

Preconceived notions.

S: Preconceived notions of such things as, They’re not interested in what I have to say. I’m not very good at keeping a conversation going. I don’t have much to offer. I’m not very much of a fun person. Oh, what if we have to do lunch? A child doesn’t fear. What else?

Rejection. So you do this and [. . .]

S: Doesn’t fear rejection, and, you know, one of the greatest reasons a child does not fear rejection is because if you say no, there’s still plenty out there who might say yes. There probably is a very nice cushion of those who already have said yes. You know, you don’t mind losing a couple of hundred dollars when you have a couple of million. It’s all perspective, isn’t it? When you have plenty, the focus isn’t on what you don’t have.

How does a child make friends? Goes up and talks, is fearless, isn’t worried about saying the right thing. What else does a child do?

They immediately ask what they have in common. Do you like broccoli? I hate broccoli. Or, do you like this show, or . . . they’re comfortable with asking those sorts of questions.

S: All right, that’s very good. They begin looking for common ground, sure. Aye.

They don’t think so hard about it. I mean sometimes with an adult, you run a lot of stuff through your head about you’re immediately trying to second-guess and figure out what the response could be if you do thus and so, but a child just . . . 

S: Takes things exactly as they are, and is not fully invested in that one friend. So you finally get up the nerve to go out and make a friend, and you make that friend and they are the only friend you have, and they are the only one you go to the show with, and they are the only one you make love with, and they are . . . well, they are the only one that you talk your confidences to and have lunch with, they are the only friends you have and so all of your focus, all of your thought, is burdening that one person. And as a result, anything that you don’t have in common is a terrible, awful, separation. And anything that you might possibly have in common is brought to a very important fore. How many of you have seen good relationships go down the pipe . . . pike . . .


S: Drain, that’s the one I was looking for. Down the drain, because you smothered it. Or because there was so little that you had in common that you could not simply enjoy the moment that you had, because, gracious, this is the only thing we have. It’s the only thing we have in common, and it’s not enough. You’ve got to be my absolutely everything.

A child is willing to risk, to fall flat on his face and get up and laugh. A child is willing to seek out what is in common in this moment. A child is not willing to let the small stuff make her sweat.

Not sweat the small stuff.

S: That was it. To not sweat the small stuff. I should stop taking things out of your minds; they just don’t fit. A child doesn’t plan friendships. I need a friend for this experience, and I need a friend for that experience, and I need a friend to be able to do this with. A child lives its life and includes who’s there. Ouch. And a healthy child is willing to do it without anybody around, but glad when there is. A whole lot of adults have lost that one, too. Got to learn to do everything by yourself or nothing by yourself. And there is a happy medium to that, and it’s not the Form. That was a joke! A happy medium. I know, you got it; you just did not like it.

Is a child limited to having friends that is just his age.


S: No? Younger? Older? There is also something else that goes on in the friendships of children. One of the things is they are willing to fight it out. Really. They are willing to disagree and maybe cry and stomp off angry, but because of a child’s incredible capacity to forgive, to let go, disagreeing doesn’t mean the friendship is over.

They’re not fair-weather friends.

S: You’re right. Yes. They are there. And another thing that a child does, that many of you have forgotten the absolute pleasure of is a child is willing to touch. The children will hold hands and walk down the street, wrap an arm around the other and just stand there and watch what’s happening, because children love to be touched, and because they want to show that, they are willing to touch. In fact, a child will touch until you will accept it.

Children are friendship masters. They are aware that the world is moving too fast, that there is too much going on, that there is too much to learn to do it all by yourself. A child is willing to reach out. And does not see it as a point of failure to say, “Help, teach me,” but a point of incredible success to get help and learn.

You have so little control in your life that it only makes sense to me that, to be able to have the happiest life possible, you should want to surround yourself with friends barging into your way, interfering with your free will. Better a friend than not, don’t you think? Seems like you should want to surround yourself with those who, even if they don’t understand all of you, love at least part of you, the part they know. Makes sense to me that if you want to have a remarkable effect on bringing intimacy and happiness and love and a willingness to experience joy into your life, you might want to sow friendship, simply for the pure joy of friendship.

How do you do it? What do you do? We talked about a whole lot of things a child might do, but how does that translate into your particular life. Well, in two words, it translates, and those words are “Get out.” Maybe they could be “Do it,” but “Get out” fits. Get out of yourself and into the world. Get out of your own little issues and into someone else’s. Get out of your cave and into the world that’s looking for you. Don’t hide any more.

And when you get out, be willing to take the initiative. Be willing to be the child that goes up and talks, hello. Be the one willing to make the phone call, and make it again and again and again, not necessarily all to the same person, mind you. Have plenty of options, remember.

Live your life. Do what you enjoy. Live your passion. Do what you love—I told you, I speak in bumper stickers—and then include those that happen to be around you living their life, experiencing their passion, loving what you’re there loving, too.

A control that you have is how you respond to what the world gives you. To how you react when your free will touches the free will of . . . be it something as elusive as mass consciousness, or specific as your housemate. It’s how you react. How you choose to act. That’s where your power is. Humans with individuated souls have herd minds. Patricia asked me once, “Are you saying we’re sheep?” And I said yes. Do you remember? But physically speaking, that’s accurate. Spiritually speaking it’s not. Physically speaking it’s accurate because you’re comfortable when there’s somebody you know doing it with you. How did you get here? Point made. You feel safer if you’re not the only one standing out there, shining like a beacon, with the world going [chuckles]. You’re happier when you’re a part, and you’re unhappy when you’re apart. And, yes indeed, my friends, your powerful individuated soul can make you strong and help you in everything that you need to do insofar as making it in this world, but even with a clear connection to what that soul self is saying to you, you feel alone when it’s your only voice.

You’re not put here to do it by yourself. You’re not put here to be alone. You are not here to show that you are the only one there is. Love, my friends, includes.

Take power. Sow the seeds of friendship, and harvest in your life happier choice, greater opportunity, more abundant love. I’ve got to do it again—harvest a field of dreams, a harvest of hope with an opportunity to love. It’s harvest season, my friends. What are you growing in your life?

Glochanumora. Happy, happy trails. You’re a very brave soul. Thank you. Fearless.