How To Communicate In Balance

June 1, 2003

Samuel: Greetings, Samuel.

Greetings, Samuel.

S: How are you doing these days?

Good.

S: There is a lot of unstable energy moving across your world right now. How are you doing with that? Well, first, are you noticing it at all, and if you are, how is it you’re noticing it? When I say there is a lot of unstable energy right now, what is it that comes to your mind as the example of that?

I’m waiting for the decisions of others to impact my life. I don’t know what I’m going to be doing, where I’m going to be doing it.

S: So you’re finding it in a sort of security instability, perhaps. Interesting.

There is some reason nobody is sitting here? You two, perhaps, have put out the energy that says stay away, is that it? Actually, there’s a lot of blanks up near the front, and usually there are leadership people who sort of fight to get up here, so come on up. Feel free. [To Frank] Behave. All right, you two, keep him. He starts getting too rowdy . . . aye, aye. There. No more? Just leave those two just as they are? Is that it? Sure. Good.

Now, let’s go back to where we were. Unstable energy, how are you recognizing it? Colleen.

Emotionally more. Like, if somebody asked me how I felt, I wouldn’t know quite what to answer. And I usually don’t have that much difficulty answering that question. But it’s coming across as just my emotions are just not real balanced at times. I mean, I’m not doing things in public, but they’re unbalanced.

S: And if they were balanced, what would you be doing in public?

So you’re noticing it insofar as your emotional responses are feeling a bit unbalanced emotionally. Anybody else feeling that these days? A few. Vague. Vague.

It’s hard to put it into words, but I’ve noticed the effect emotionally.

S: That works. I’m all right with it. Bonnie.

Well, the emotional thing is going on with everybody around me, and it’s not me. I know it’s not me.

S: Everybody in your presence is misbehaving. Anybody else finding that you’re the only one you know who’s stable right now. Must be you, Bonnie.

I would agree, however, that there is a lot of frustrated, sometimes angry—for somebody that might be bipolar, they might be very manic now, even if they’ve been somewhat down—a lot of that. Absolutely. Paula.

For me, it’s a drive to be creative. It’s a push to do new things and to actually have completions, also. It’s almost like there’s a tremendous drive of energy and I can use it for various things.

S: And that is going to prove to be a very nice segue into where I’m going tonight, so I’m going to use it as the last one for that, but before I go there, let me say that the energy is not particularly where I’m going. It simply is one of those, “Gosh, are you noticing that everyone around you is being a little crazy?” Because I’m sure noticing everyone around you—including you—seems to be unpredictable right now. That’s what I’d say, unpredictable.

And the nature of the instability that I’m making reference to is that not only do you have that lovely outpouring of cosmic energy that has been flowing so strongly since fusion, but right now on the planet itself you have a lot of internal changes. Geomagnetics, the actual physical energy of the planet—storms and earthquakes, and floods. A lot of what you would think of as a sudden change, a spike. It’s not a sudden change, and it’s here. It’s not going away. New page. A new level of planetary energy. And that is a very good thing, because Sacred Status is where the planet’s energy and the energy of the life force on the planet are functioning in a balanced, highest possible way. That balance is what that shift is about, moving into greater balance. Is it, however, the highest possible frequency, well no. But that is a signal that you are continuing in the process of moving that way.

Now, enough of that. That’s not where I was going to go. Where I am going to go is, in addition to a lot of changes going on physically speaking for the planet, there is also for those within this culture—those in this area—you are experiencing a change. You are moving into a new part of your calendar year, and mass consciousness thinks in regard to that calendar year.

This month is a month that holds a lot of ancient energy, and it is a transition month. And I’m going to use this month to talk about the importance of a very particular type of new beginning that’s needed. And I’ll get to that in just a moment.

What is the sacred and ancient connection for this month?

Summer Solstice.

S: Got it. Say it again.

Summer Solstice.

S: The Summer Solstice, which represents what?

Light.

S: Light. Excellent. What’s happening to the light? Why is it even marked?

It’s the greatest amount of light for our northern hemisphere.

S: Right. It is the day that you mark the longest amount of sunlight. Why is that an important day for the ancients to care about? Now this isn’t hard; just think about it.

Crops.

S:  Right.

Well, what they said.

S: Crops, she said. Crops.

Well, I was going to say for two reasons.

S: Crops. And the other one is?

It’s a culmination of more and more and more light.

S: Good.

And on the other, it’s beginning a new cycle of less and less light.

S: Yes. So, once again, it represents a transition point. It is the constant building of light from when?

The winter solstice.

S: The winter solstice. And, at that point, it then begins a journey of constantly less and less and less light. Now, what is light?

Energy.

S: Say it again.

Energy.

S: Energy. Sure. And simply because it is such an easy way to express something that is one of those feeling kind of things that you cannot really put a proper tag to—the energy that you are, the energy that is everything in your world—energy is easily expressed visually as light.

Now, light as you know it is a limited version of light as a whole. Why is that?

Because we can’t see it all.

S: Why?

We’re not set up to.

S: That’s very good.

There’s only a certain range of frequency that we are capable of recognizing at this point.

S: Precisely. Exactly. Yes. And I really like that “at this point.” Wasn’t that good? I like that. What can see a different part of the spectrum?

My cat.

S: Your cat, sure, sure.

Insects.

S: Insects, sure.

Owls.

S: Owls. Owls. Owls? Birds. Owls. Got it! Yes. Yes. Owl, what a word. Night-vision creatures likely have the apparatus to admit more light into their eyes and translate it through their brains. They have more apparatus than you do for that.

On the other hand, you see better than certain other forms of life force on the earth, and the way that you translate light is unique to you.

Now, insofar as light as a part of the spectrum that you are able to measure but not see, what do you call those? And I’ll give you hint. They’re at both ends, the extremes.

Ultraviolet and infrared.

S: Ultraviolet and infrared. Kathy, love, you need to go to the head of the class tonight. Good for you. She’s just sitting over there, answering all of the questions.

Knitting, is that what you’re doing?

I’m obsessed.

S: Obsessed. Ah, and is that a new thing going on for you?

No, it’s just it got an outlet, and so I’m making up for lost time.

S: Well, good for you.

Light simply is an expression of energy. Everything that’s in your experience is energy. You are energy. So with that illustration, it’s also—and it is accurate to say—but it’s also good to say that you are an expression of light in that way.

Now, as an expression of light, you resonate with the light that is your solar spotlight. That’s the one I’ll use—spotlight. I was thinking of flashlight, but that’s a little one, isn’t it? All right. It’s your solar spotlight. It connects to you.

There are those who become physically depressed when they are not in the sun enough, when there’s not enough light to feed their needs. And just because it’s an interesting thing, pay attention, look around the room with this—how many of you have noticed that yourself? It is not at all unusual for those who work at very high frequencies to be . . . Frank’s raising his hand now . . . to find that they are very needful, responsive to, that their body parallels what’s going on with the sun. You need the light. It literally nourishes you. There are specific parts of your physical system that require that light to work. You are sort of like a big skin-covered plant, being nourished by it. And that’s a good thing. That’s not a bad thing.

But as a result of that, you may be finding that as you are moving through this month, you are getting more and more energized, that you’re finding yourself, even in the midst of some of this unstable energy, going through, finding yourself feeling good. Why could that be a problem?

Well, the light’s going to start decreasing, so if you’re using the light, you’re going to start going down.

S: Yes, that’s true.

You might ignore some of your needs while you’re feeling so good.

S: That’s very true, too, not that any of you would do that, of course—get involved in other things and forget to take care of yourself. Nothing like that. Why else might that not be a good thing?

Well, if you’re feeling that good, you might not think it all the way through. You might just follow through, and if the energy’s not quite settled, you might regret that later.

S: In the delight of feeling good, being drunk with your own delight, you might not think through some of the things that you obligate yourself to, or things that you start or things that are going on in your life that you make decisions about. And so it’s important to be aware of that. Yes, that’s true. Lisa.

I keep thinking about it makes you too dependent outside of yourself.

S: Yes. Yes.

Instead of following what’s internal.

S: Right there. The number one reason that that has a small amount of danger attached to it, because you recognize that when the sun is shining and the day is beautiful, and you’re enjoying it and your body’s being fed and you’re feeling so good, it’s that thing out there that it has to do with instead of you. And one of the most important dangers that you come to in your life, one of the easiest traps for you to fall into, is giving away your power. Giving away your power in a hundred different ways, all of which are related to that out there causing that in here to act.

The key is respond, not react. What’s the difference?

Focus. Awareness.

S: The difference has to do with focus and awareness; that’s absolutely true. Are you signaling or answering?

Signaling, but I have an answer, maybe.

S: All right, that works. Good.

I think reacting doesn’t involve as much consciousness as responding.

S: I agree with that, fully, yes. Very true.

Reactions often come out of our emotional responses. Our emotions get triggered into it.

S: Reactions are—here it comes, I rarely say this—always a function of your emotional self.

Whereas a response is more of a considered, decision-making process.

S: Right. Very good. Right. Aye, love.

Well, also, reactions are . . . they’re a part of your pattern, they’re immediate habits that you’ve learned.

S: Good.

And response is an opportunity to change that.

S: Oh, well said. Could you do that again?

Yes, I hope so. A reaction is how you’ve learned to behave in a situation; it’s a part of your pattern, it’s habit you’ve formed. And response is when you can take an opportunity and change that pattern in that moment.

S: Beautiful. Beautifully said. Aye. And that can only help you. It’s a good thing.

This month you are going to be finding in your life that everything about relationships is coming up for you. Now, in the larger picture, everything in your life is about relationships, because there is not an easier way for any bit of honing or polishing or out-and-out chopping to be done on your love, to bring the diamond out of the coal, the coal that you are, than through relationships.

The whole focus of Source in this world is expressed through your relationships. It is worthless to have you here alone on the mountaintop, out in the cave, merging with the rock. You’re not going to change the world that way. You might wear yourself a nice little seat in the rock, but you’re not going to help this world.

And, indeed, having spent enough time looking at you, every one of you here knows in your heart that you are here to help this world. Somehow, some way, you know. And it finds you even when you’re trying to get away from it. You know that—to use a proverb—you’re here to be a part of the answer. That is, by the way, why you ask so many questions.

Relationships, the way you interact with others, is the easiest means for all of the lessons and opportunities and gifts to come to you. And when I speak of relationships, I’m not simply speaking of the relationship in which you meet another person that you are convinced was the soulmate you’ve been looking for, and the other half of you that has been lost for so long, and now finally has returned to you.

One of the funniest things about that theory—and I’ll only give it credit as a theory—is that some of the most important compacts you have in your life, meaning those people that you have the most intense connections with, that outside of this dimension have been a part with you—a piece with you, I should have said to make that clearer—are not those that you are in love with. They’re more likely those that are constantly on your case.

On your last nerve.

S: Constantly on your nerve . . . what’s that?

Nerve.

S: On your last nerve. Local expression. All right. Constantly challenging you, challenging your confidence, challenging your belief structure. Doing you the biggest favors that the whole focus of your life could give you. Perhaps teaching you how to love without judgment, allowing you a glimpse of yourself you might not otherwise see. No, indeed, not simply the person that you are currently intimate with. I’m talking about the relationships that have to do with right here, right now. Look around you. How many different sorts of relationships are there right here tonight. Tell me a few.

Sisters.

S: All right.

Mother-child relationships.

S: Yes, indeed.

Friends.

S: Yes.

Husband and wife.

S: Yes, good.

Committee members.

S: Good. Yes. Yes.

Phoenix family.

S: A chosen family. Yes. Yes.

Weird connections that you don’t understand.

S: But can’t get away from. Yes, indeed, that too.

There’s all manner of relationships just right here in this room, and every one of them has an effect on you. Every one of them is an opportunity, in one way or another, for you to see a part of yourself you would not otherwise see. Every one of them is an opportunity for you to learn better about love and how to give love and how to receive love. And what is the number-one way that that happens? Stuart.

Through communications.

S: Yes, indeed. Good for you. Well, I was just a little bit interested in what was going to pop out as the answer to that question, but right the first time. Because the second most important version of opportunity for you to grow, to change, to be, to do what you are here to do and be is by way of communication.

Now, would you say that that number one and number two are actually a hierarchical sort of thing? First, you have the relationship, then you have the communication. No, of course not. They are intertwined. And just as there are many different sorts of relationships, there are many different ways that you communicate. But the ones that get you in trouble aren’t the good communication processes, are they? They are the poor ones. And that is what I desire to warn you against.

So, take a good deep breath, and I want you to move back to the early part of this conversation. We were discussing that this month is a transition month, that the energy that is here now is out of flux, so to speak; it is not stable. And it is not unstable because there is not enough of it, or there aren’t enough receivers of it. No, it simply is that the energy is out of balance insofar as what’s coming here and what’s coming from here right now. And there are always those sorts of fluctuations; that’s not the problem.

But as is always the case, your response to it could be. When the energy is unstable, it tends to cause security issues to come. And particularly because there are two who once were in Pittsburgh and now are here—yes—there is a constant joke that I talk about three subjects. What are they?

Sex, money and body fat.

S: Sex, money and body fat. And do you get that those might sort of fill in America’s security issues, right there?

Your ability to function in unstable energy has everything to do with how your security issues are being taken care of right now. And security issues, when they are broadly labeled as sex, or money, or body fat, what might they also be more easily recognized as? Instead of saying sex, what would you say?

Relationships.

S: Relationships. Excellent. Money.

Job.

Career.

Finances.

Abundance.

S: Abundance, sure. And body fat.

Self-image.

Physical health.

S: Physical health. Self-image. And what is self-image about?

Self-esteem.

S: Self-esteem. How you relate to you in this world.

This is a transition month. Relationships are going to be in security mode. Communication issues are going to target, meaning you are going to find communicating in a positive way or communicating in a negative way of those basic security issues are going to be what your life revolves around.

Although it might make sense that I might be complaining about that, or although it might to you seem that to have a life revolve around what would seem like such mundane issues could not mean something good, the reality of it is, right now at this time in your world and in your life, this is one of the greatest opportunities that you have had for resolution in this area. And that resolution is only going to happen with communication, and so I want to talk to you for a brief few moments about communication.

Many of you know that I have a definition of communication. What is that? Donna.

It’s not the ability to speak; it’s the ability to be heard.

S: Exactly. It’s not about how well you speak; it’s about being heard, which means that it’s not about you. The connection you make, the person you’re speaking to in the grocery-store line, the person that you have lived with for thirty years, the person that you don’t like as you work with them, the person that you love, that you married, it’s about what they are hearing you say. Understanding that principle alone, right there, recognizing the permutations of that can literally turn your relationships around for the better. That is a powerful piece of knowledge. What does it mean? What does it involve to ensure that you are heard?

It’s separating the message from the delivery of the message.

S: Good, yes. That’s right.

When you’re mindful in your delivery of how a person can best hear it.

S: Being mindful in your delivery about how that person can best hear it is key. Stuart, you are adding?

If the other person seems to get it, or how they respond or react to it, let’s you know how effective you were in being heard.

S: That’s true. Very true. Donna.

It’s also, when you deliver a message that you want to be heard, it’s not to stop there. You continue the conversation to find out what the other person says is going through their brain. What does that mean to them?

S: It’s not simply an oration. You’re not simply vomiting out words. Could have done that one better, couldn’t I.

You can find out how they are translating it, you know, what it means, because their security issues are going to color something you might have asked, and something that’s innocent to you may set them up to be fearful and have a whole other view of what you’re saying.

S: Are you implying, love, that it’s possible that while you’re just having an innocent conversation with somebody you care about, that you might punch one of their buttons that causes them to totally start blocking out everything that you say from there on, and they become fixated on their version of what you said?

It’s never happened to me.

S: Of course not. Of course not. And yet that is exactly what happens. How do you avoid that? Lisa.

It’s your responsibility to make sure the other person understands what you’re saying. It’s not their responsibility to translate what you’re trying to say.

S: That’s right. I think that I probably could use a small dose of Brandywine for this one. Are you up for it?

Sure.

S: Brandywine would give a lovely illustration of one of the ways not to ensure that the other person is staying up with what you’re saying, is by that constant, “You know. You know.” How does she say that?

[Donna adopts the voice of the character she has played in Phoenix skits:] “Oh, you know, I went shopping, you know, and then I got this pretty shirt, and then there were shoes that went with it, you know, and then I found a hat. Okay, you know how it is when you see something and . . .”

S: Lovely. Perfect. Exactly.

Oh, great, now I have to stuff her back in.

S: How often do you have conversations that way. Well, clearly you’re thinking, “Oh, I don’t speak that way. I don’t, I don’t.” But why is that not a conversation?

It’s an oration.

There’s no give and take. It’s just one way.

S: It’s just running through all about me. Here’s what I did, and it’s not caring if they know. It’s not saying, “Did that make sense to you?” What is it . . . ? “Does that relate to what we’re talking about for you?” It’s just tossing in fillers.

Do you realize how often you have meaningless conversation? That you have, and I’m going to use the word thoughtless, in a way perhaps slightly different than usual. Brandywine’s lovely conversation there was thoughtless, meaning she wasn’t really there for it. It was just a running-through of the usual things. Have you ever been into a store and you greeted the clerk with, “Hello,” and they said, “fine.” Signal: not there or not here, perhaps is . . .

To be heard means you are listening so carefully that you are aware of the other’s responses. You’re listening so carefully. Now, have you ever been in a conversation with somebody who’s a really good listener.

I like that, say that again.

That’s why I married my husband. That’s the first thing that struck me about him.

S: Really listens, translates as really cares. And, beloved ones, in your life, it is so rare to find someone who cares that people gravitate toward the one that they feel that caring from.

Is it possible to listen and not really care? Yes. It is. So the fact of it is, remember that that’s not the best way to judge somebody. However, the point that I’m making here is that truly listening may not be that you’re honestly caring for that person—they may be more or less a stranger to you, and that will happen more in time—but it means that you care about what they say, so that simply by the act of listening you are creating common ground. They care about what they say, too. You are creating ground that does not say, I’m so much better than you, I don’t need to care about you.

And although you sort of smile and laugh at that one, the fact of it is you can relate to this. Too many of you know what it’s like to not feel like you are on equal ground. You know what it’s like to not feel that you are equal, for whatever reason. It’s not unusual in this society for individuals to feel that because they’re not what the world calls a success, they’re not enough.

And sadly enough that is more often true with those who come from a very high-frequency spiritual heart. Those who love easily and well so often feel less than. Why would that be, do you think?

It feels like you’re out of step somehow.

S: That’s a very good part of the reason, because clearly other people don’t feel that way. Other people tend to be negative and sarcastic and hard to get to know. And yet you want to be friendly and meet others. Or, maybe, just a different direction of it: you learned early on that you had to turn that off because it would be abused, taken for granted. Yes.

People who love so easily and love with an open heart, it’s so natural to them that they don’t realize it’s something special. And generally you’re not surrounded by people like that, and you realize that you’re not getting it back, and you think it’s because there’s something wrong with you.

S: Very well said, Frank, very good. Absolutely.

Listening takes in more than what they are saying. What else does it take in?

And this is something I’ve found a lot recently: you have to let go of your expectations of the response.

S: One of the things is you’re not already planning what you’re going to say back because you know what it is they’re saying. And you laugh, but you do that all the time.

Really listening takes in all the visual clues that are going on, too.

S: Good. Good. You sat in a room with a dog lately? How many of you have a dog?

Sort of.

S: Sort of?

Borrowed.

S: You’ve borrowed a dog. All right. That works. Dogs communicate with many, many little sounds and noises and you do, too, whether you realize it or not. You would do well to study a dog’s communication, because that dog is studying you. That dog, because its nature is to be tuned in to every little twitch, watches your every little twitch. It knows when you are happy. It knows when you are upset. It knows when you are saying really nice words, but you’re not happy. It knows when to approach, when to stay away.

How many of you that have dogs have a dog that gives you the look? Perhaps you’re getting ready to leave and you’re not taking the dog, and so you get the look. What you have done to learn what the look means, translate that to working with humans, because the same sort of awareness of body language is going to serve you when you’re talking to others. When you are babbling away about how wonderful your day was, and the grocery clerk is starting to shuffle things away and stands there and looks at hands and feet, and . . . well, your dog would already be out the door. They know.

The sounds, the sound of pleasure, the breathing patterns of anger, of frustration. How many of you signal that you’re ready to say something in a conversation by doing this [takes sharp breath]? Most of you do that. You’ve got this language that goes unspoken, but it expresses what is truly in your heart, and I will tell you that when you are working to communicate with another, if there is anything  going on in your heart but that person experiencing your love, you’re not going to be communicating.

As you are moving toward the solstice and creative energy is picking up, manifestation energy is picking up, security issues are picking up because of those—and they do—into your life with every gift is a challenge. Ultimately the challenge is, Do I believe I can accept this? But that may show up many different ways. This is too good for me, I do not deserve it. I am too good for this, it does not deserve me. It may show up as a challenge. Do you really want it? It may show up as changing your mind about it altogether, because once you’ve gotten it, it’s not what you thought it was. Beware what you wish for.

Creative, abundant manifestation energy is usually wrapped in the package of “how good am I at balancing my life?”—your ability to wield successful accounting. This is a free nickel lesson for those of you who are working on prosperity and abundance: those issues come wrapped up in balance. Look at your life. Where do you need to install some balance? Balance between giving and receiving, having and not having, needing and wanting. Balance between your spiritual and your human experience right here. And I will promise you that like every other major part of your life experience, those issues of balance are going to show up in your ability to communicate in balance in your relationships. How do you communicate with balance? Well, one of them is listen and be heard. Hear and be heard.

But what else is involved in communication that is an expression of balance? Donna, you should be up here in the front. You’re just very on.

I’ve worked on this for years. You have to get to the core issue of what it is you’re trying to say, instead of . . . It’s back to the reaction or an action. A lot of the times when I’m working on it, I catch myself fussing about something that has really nothing to do with what I’m trying to say. I’m upset, and they’re getting the anger when the real issue is what . . . I’ll go, “Wait a minute, what I’m really trying to say is this.”

S: And the way that I’m going to word that is focus. Focus. What is it you’re trying to say, and how is it you need to say it? That’s the balance in your communication. Focus. But there’s a step further outside of that focus and she mentioned it somewhat, and that has to do with not judging.

Skip referred to it somewhat when he said expectations, not waiting for somebody to say what you think they’re going to say, and you’re preparing yourself for it. Judgment. A thousand different ways you have learned to make snap judgments in order to survive. It’s a survival mechanism. Is this person like me? Am I safe? Is this all right? And as a result your life looks like a meeting of the clones: people who think like you do, speak like you do, and pretty much look like you do. And you don’t have challenges to the way you think or act. You don’t ever have the opportunity to truly know what you’re about.

Now, you two do not have meetings of the clones in your life, do you?

No, they come from all over.

S: That’s right. That’s right. And as a result, part of what your challenge is is to balance other aspects of your life that you don’t find at your workplace. Most of you judge your world by yourself. I don’t mean you don’t have anyone helping you, I mean you judge it by what you think. What’s the problem with that? What you think is not all there is.

It’s only one perspective.

S: Precisely. So the focus is on balance, but I’m going to use Harvey’s word, the judgment is balanced when you remember perspective.

This time of creative, passionate, healing abundance in relationships that have to do with your connection with yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally, your connections with others from the very casual to the intensely personal, from relationships in this world and relationships with Source, your relationships with those issues of security, such as finances, such as who you are and where you stand insofar as the judgments of this world, these are the things that this month are going to be coming up for you in ways that both challenge and stimulate your life for the better or for the same.

For some of you it’s hard to get worse. Oh, no knowing chuckles that time, because you know it’s not funny. Most of you have been dealing with these issues—sex, money, body fat, communication, relationships—all of your life, and this is a month that you really can, if not get over it, get into it in a positive healing, resolving way. And although it might seem, when you think back, well, what was it he said? It was easy, it was basic, it was things I know. I want to toss the glove in front of you here—the challenge—because what I have given you is a portrait that works, a technology you love—one, two, three, four, five—a technology that makes a good, good change.

Communicate in balance. Judgment, focus. Allow the issues that come up to be tested, not so much on the scale of what always has been, but on the scale of what can truly be. You have an advantage here, right now. You have an advantage because you know it, it’s coming. Take advantage. The planet is shifting your way. Your heart, your heart knows this. You’re aware of it, you’ve sensed it, you feel it. The excitement, the change, the positive push. You can turn the old around, and it is just as simple and tragically hard as working on your ability to communicate without judgment, with focus, out of a heart seeking balance of love in all of your relationships. You can be the change you want to bring into your life, and your life will then create the changes to match what you are. It is easy.

May the power of this solstice fill you and remind you that you are what you need. You have it. May the sun of the sun shine into your life so that there is not darkness that keeps you from seeing the power you wield, the power you are, the power you have to bring into your life what you need for the rest of your life.

Glochanumora. Happy trails.