August 1, 1999

Samuel: Hello, dears.

Greetings, Samuel.

S: How about a couple of gifts before we get started? And what Im asking about particularly here is in regard to the discussions that weve been having over the last couple of months in which very specifically we have talked about things to be doing to deal with change. Things to be doing to be bringing into your life stability, joy, happiness, good things like that. We talked a lot about seeing many things in your roadway, so to speak, as a means of letting you know that these are issues that are going to need to be worked through, and working through them. How about a couple of gifts in that direction? Aye, love.

Im a recovering perfectionist. And Im learning . . .

S: My name is Mary Claire, and Im a recovering perfectionist.


And my gifts are learning that I dont have to be perfect, that in my moment, in my now, what I am and the best I can do is my perfection. And I make little faux pas, I make little mistakes here and there, and Im learning how not to beat myself up over that any more. And I realized that was the biggest boulder in my path of me constantly putting it there in front of me. And its a wonderful feeling of freedom to know that I dont have to live up to a ridiculous standard of perfection any more, but I can be the best I can be, and be so content and happy with that. Its wonderful. Its a wonderful gift that Ive given myself.

S: I think that theres a whole lot of the world that would have a very hard time understanding that a pitfall in the path or a—whats the word Im looking for there? Or a pithole.


S: Pothole! Thats the one! A pothole in the road—well, a pithole didnt sound quite right, but it could have worked, it could have worked—is the desire to be perfect. In fact, most of the world would probably tell you that thats exactly what you should be striving for. And theyre absolutely right. Its true, you should, unless you are functioning from the direction of spirit, in which case you recognize that the perfection is already there. Coming from a place in which you are able to acknowledge perfection keeps you from having to strive to act it out in all small things.

But just a minute here, Samiel, if I do not have a desire for perfection, arent I just going to slough off, and let go, and become slovenly and wear sweatpants all the time? Well, I understand that thats one of the signs of depression. Is that right? All the time? Martin says that if they are Louisville sweat pants, they are okay.

Yes! Yes!

They are a sure sign of depression.

S: Sure sign of depression. Is that it? Nonetheless, Im sure youre understanding where Im going there. That surely if I do not seek the highest possible standard of being, then Im not doing the best I can where I am with what I have?

You dont have such outs. You are asked always to do the best you can where you are with what you have at the time, but that very statement recognizes that that which does, the part of you thats acting it out, is not perfect already or it would be the best is all you can do, instead of do the best you can.

The spirit is perfect. Acknowledging that empowers the form that acts out that perfection the best it can where it is with what it has at the time.

Mary Claire, love, do you find that what youre capable of today is different than what you were capable of yesterday?


S: And would you also say, as everybody in here can relate to that very same thing, that perhaps its different than what it will be tomorrow? So its never that you get off easily. It is still the best you can where you are with what you have at the time, but perfectionism shows up when you do not trust. [Beeper goes off in the audience] Its usually you, isnt it?

I turned mine off.

S: But perfectionism shows up when what it is you have isnt enough for you. Your need to push to perfect is a statement that youre not here, now. So what Mary Claire is saying is that she has found peace with being here now. And that, beloved, is where the power is. Good work.

How about another? Aye, love.

I had a strange gift when I was eating a bowl of cereal and Rice Dream. I used to drive my mother insane eating cereal when I was a child, because I would pour this huge bowl of cereal—I weighed all of like twenty pounds when I was four or five—I would pour this huge bowl of cereal, pour all this milk on it, and there was no way I could eat it, and so I would ruin it. And I did it repeatedly. I never understood it, you know, who cares? Its something a child does.

Well, I was sitting there the other day, and I was putting the cereal in, and I went, Oh, just a little bit, because I can have more later. And it just clicked. Thats why I did it. I didnt believe there was more for later, and when I discovered that I didnt believe that any more, I could see how that pattern of my belief fit in a lot of places in my life.

And once I could realize that I did have plenty, and I had more later, that I didnt have to try and get it all in now, then that helps me to cope with the change and the […]. It was really good.

S: Beautiful illustration. Well done. A very powerful point regarding prosperity and abundance in there. Did you get it?


S: Give it back.

It was no longer a fear of not having enough; that there was enough.

S: A recognition that there is enough; There will be more. Its not coming from a place of not having.

Hoarding is poverty consciousness.

S: Hoarding is poverty consciousness. Very nice. Yes. Particularly these days. Very nice. Aye.

I have everything I need.

S: I have what I need right now. And if I desire to have more, there will be more. Excellent. Very, very good. Adding to it.

Trusting that your need will be taken care of later.

S: And in order to know while youre sitting in the midst of that cereal, in order to know if your needs are going to be met later, what is it that youre likely to do? Lets just keep this lesson going here. What is it youre likely to do? Well, youre probably going to shake the box. Do you think? Maybe youre going to look in there. You think? You want to use what you have, but you have a responsibility in there as well. And your responsibility is not to use it up, and then wait for your neighbor to bring you. “Oh I just happened to be at the grocery store, and I saw this for you. Here. Have it.” That could happen. The likelihood of your neighbor doing that? Would be a while. Maybe you would want cereal before the Universe could arrange that. It has to do with karma. We wont go there. Maybe while youre pouring, youre paying attention. Getting near the end of the box here. Is there something I can do about this. Maybe the next time Im at the grocery, Ill pick some more up. This is putting feet on your desires. Its recognizing that you too have a part in that creation process. You shake the box to see how its going.

In your own life your version of that in the very many ways that this shows up could be, for instance, when somebody you know and love very much begins to misbehave, because they have a desire to find out just how much you love them back. Have you ever known anybody to do that? Theyre shaking the box to see how much is there. Its a very human response.

You have twenty dollars that you made this week. As you spend the fifteenth one, you notice that there is just a few left. Youre shaking the box, which lets you know that you need to get to work bringing more in. You need to go by the bank, which is sort of like the grocery store of money, right? You hope. There is something for you to do, and it hinges on your awareness. Your awareness that you have enough for what you need now. Your awareness that youre not coming from a place of fear that says what if theres not enough? Id better start hoarding it. Stocking up on Rice Dream you say?

Rice milk to go with the cereals.

S: You are aware that there is something you can do, and you do it. Thats how it works. Good one.

One more. Bobbi.

When there first started to be the talk about change, and needing to . . .

S: You were about one day old. Right?

Yes, but this last conversation about it. I had gone through so much change in my life that the thought of being asked to go through one more step of change was the most overwhelming thought possible to me. And I knew that I was in a vulnerable situation to feel that way, because I also knew that change was an inherent part of life. So, I knew that I needed help, and I started praying. And I started praying for the willingness to change. And, as has been true for me when I ask for help and when I pray, my prayers are answered. And its been the answer for me. Its taken away a large portion of my fear, and has allowed me to know that I can face change, and that I can go through more change if thats what needs to happen.

S: Well said. Very well said. Two very important points Bobbi has brought up there. Tell me one of them.

Asking for help.

S: Very good. Prayer is a doorway. Its a doorway. Depending upon what side youre on, it lets you in. Doesnt matter what side youre on, it lets you in. It lets you in to the presence of creation-manifestation Source energy. Its lets creation-manifestation Source energy into your presence, too. Its a doorway.

Asking for help is another version of a doorway, because its a link for a partnership. There is a very big difference in asking for help, and just giving it over or giving up. Here, you do it! Thats not asking for help. Theres no partnership there. There is no co-creatorship. There is no responsibility, and there is no blessing that goes with it. Asking for help is a recognition of a working partnership, whether your physical head understands that or not. The heart that has said “Help me be willing” is enough.

Whats another point?

The recognition that change does not have to be loss.

S: Thank you. Right there. The greatest challenge in most humans lives is in recognizing that change is a part of life, and not to be feared or resisted. I did not say its a part of living, although the way that I use life and living, you have to listen pretty carefully to determine how it is Im using it at the moment. But Im saying that you can be alive and not having a life. Right. Or you can be living and not alive. You get the point Im going for. Change is a part of being alive, but in order to experience life while you are alive, you must embrace change, not fear it, because change happens—with or without you. And recognizing that and putting yourself in partnership so that you are manifesting from both sides of the doorway gives you the advantages needed for this time now. Good work. Thank you for that.

Youre at a time right now in which the changes are just going to continue. And a good example of those changes are these. [Points to a table in front of him, which has baskets of fruits, vegetables and flowers.] What are they?

[…] green beans.

S: Thank you. Whats my point? Change. Right here. Whats the point?

Comes from a seed.

S: All right. That works. Began as a seed, and here you have . . .

The results.

S: Yes.


S: Which is what you are harvesting now. Perfect, my friend.

Although this spread is about Lughnassadh, it is not only an ancient cross-quarter day celebrated amongst the pagan few still holding onto a few old traditions these days. Dont look too harshly around you; you are surrounded by them, which is a recognition of, amongst other things, the ancient personification of the life-giving spirit of the sun, personified through Lugh. Lugh. [Picks up corn] I do not think this was grown for humans.


Its field corn.


S: Exactly. Thats a little further along in the harvest. Its a very lovely spread. Aye. But its an example of harvesting the fruits of the changes you are experiencing now. And Im going to use the old organization of Lughnassadh as a means of letting you know what fruits to be looking for.

Somebody give me, if you will, the short, condensed version of what this holidays about. I gave you a partial version.

It also . . . within the cycles of the earth, its the first harvest.

S: Good. Good. The first harvest. Meaning?

There are more.

S: Thank you very much. She says theres more cereal in the box. Yes. For those of you who farm, more than one harvest. Whats that about? There does not have to be more than one harvest, does there?

You have to replant.

S: Thank you. So along the way, recognizing the gifts of harvesting the fruits of change, you must also recognize the work in keeping the plants going, keeping the planting happening in order to have continued harvest. More, Bonnie. Lughnassadh.

Well it was the time when, in the Celtic lands, the people would come from all around and they would bring their latest child, usually a product of Beltane. They would announce the marriages, and anything new. They came together to celebrate their families.

S: All right. A celebration of relationships, we will say. All right. It was a popular time for marriages, although marriages were often a bit looser, a bit different, in olden times, mainly because there was not exactly the same rituals associated in a society that functioned in a more cyclical nature than yours does. They sometimes participated in a ritual called hand-fasting. Do you know that one?


S: Why ever would you know that one?

Romance novels.

S: Indeed? And they could hardly write.

Modern day.

Historical romance novels.


S: Thank you. Spoke about hand-fasting? And they said it was?

Basically a couple could come together, and pledge that they would stay together for a year and a day.

S: Excellent.

And at the end of that they could either stay together and get formally married, or they could leave without any problems.

S: In a society in which many things were unstable, it was very easy to neglect commitment altogether. Therefore, in a society with so much instability, the desire for commitment was an act of faith, and although it may sound to your ears that a commitment for a year and a day is not much, in that society it was quite long.

Now why would you choose a year and a day? What is that saying there? Its not that the magic is three hundred and sixty-six or -seven or whatever it happens to be. Whats that putting out there?


S: It is a cycle. It does state a completion there, but other than trips around the system. Frank.

I was going in that direction.

S: Anybodys thought go in that direction?

I can make something up.

S: [Laughing] Claudia. And indeed, dear, if nobody knows the answer, you can make something up and no one will know, but I know the answer.

You go through all the different things that might happen in a whole year.

S: Excellent. Excellent. Within that year youre going to work through the different cycles of your society together. All right. Thats a good one.

It seems to me that it offers the full cycle, but the extra day opens the door to a new cycle, or new possibilities, or it offers a continuation.

S: Well done. Are you reading the same books Heidi is.

No, but I am.

S: Thats it. Thats it. Because youre setting forth a period of time in which both are working with all they have to make it happen. Its not saying that were going to be stuck in this forever, as long as we live, and therefore have a built-in means of irritation, separation, guilt that so often happens in a relationship in which the nature of commitment is not understood. Because commitment is about two individuals who have chosen to come together to help each other—and then youve got to fill in the blank. To say that youre going to be able to allow each other to do that for the rest of your days, as long as you live, is exactly what keeps most individuals from being able to make a commitment, because they know that in their own life they hardly know whats going to happen tomorrow. They know that they felt fifteen ways to this one person just today. The idea of holding fast to that one for the rest of their lives seems so unpredictable that they do not desire to put themselves or another in a situation in which they might be stuck. And as a result, within this society there is very little commitment that works.

Whereas what that society was recognizing was that lets both give it our best, which alone is a lot more different than you would imagine. Lets both give it our best. Lets give it the time of the whole cycle of seasons and experience. Lets allow the greatest possible opportunity for the relationship to grow, but its not stuck. Once the cycle is complete, there is a doorway available. A point of decision. This is always the key in keeping a commitment going. A point in which further negotiation, continued negotiation, or reaffirmation is possible. And at that point if its worked, then without any further word the compact is sealed. If its determined by both that it has not worked, that doorway is open without judgement.

Lughnassadh is a celebration of the brightness of the sun and the wisdom of the dark, which is perhaps one of the lesser-known aspects of the holiday. The brightness, the power, the gift, the warmth, the life force of the sun that provides the bounty, that provides the opportunity for the tribe to continue, that is recognized as the great solar king, Lugh, who is the light, certainly of the Celtic world. Who is, as is celebrated as the ultimate relationship expressed in the most ancient of celebrations of Lughnassadh, is recognized as the god that marries the goddess. But in this particular case its not just any goddess that the ancient Lugh connects with. Who would it be?


S: Which is the dark version of it. Lets go to the lighter version of her. Youre going to say Brighid, arent you?


S: Right.

What please?

S: Arianrhod. Wasnt that a help? All right, somebody say the word in your […]


S: Whatever it is you would say. Its all right. Just so Lou can . . . Its Arianrhod. You breathe it more than you say it. Who is Arianrhod? If for Lughnassadh, Lugh becomes the solar god, then Arianrhod becomes the lunar mother. Yes. Which is why the other side of Arianrhod in this celebration is Macha.

Goddess of war.

S: The representative of death, of war.


S: Transformation. Excellent. And is very often associated here for the purpose of this holiday, which I will get to in a moment, as the triple: the maiden, the mother, the crone. Or, to pull that all together, solar activity bonded with the expression of emotional stability and internal awareness, balanced by truth-seeking, compassionate-giving, and wisdom brings about the ultimate connection now. And for the times you are moving into, that is your key to be able to harvest the fruit of these changes of this time. Solar activity. Recognition of Lugh, coming to Arianrhod that is expressed through the triple goddess of transformation. The darker aspect. The shadow side.

How might that be showing up for you now? One very simple way might be, have you been feeling over the last couple of weeks that every action you take has brought up emotional issues in your life forcing you to put forth unconditional love, honesty, truth, compassion resulting in wisdom? Then you are in the flow of this coming time.

Masculine energy represented by Lugh is not speaking of males in gender. Its speaking of the energy of outward participation in the world. This is a time in which the prophets have spoken of the world making massive change. You have coming forth in this very month a darkening of the sun in an eclipse. A time in which the sun and the moon marry, so to speak. And the prophets speak of the results of that union being a darkening in the world.

With that in mind I would like to talk to you for a few moments about darkness. All right. Lets begin first with, I want you to imagine that youre sitting in your bed, laying in your bed. Youve snuggled in for the night. Are you there? And youve turned the lights off. Youve got blackout shades, its dark in there. All right. Does it stay in there?


S: Somebody explain to me why you could say no.

Your eyes adjust.

S: Yes. Your eyes adjust. So the very first thing that Id like you to remember in regard to the shadow aspect of yourself, or of the world as you might be seeing it, is that by adjusting your eyes, its not dark any more.

Just to keep you swinging from one direction to the other, lets go into harvest time. Aye. You walk out into the feeling. Youre guided by your eyes, your nose, your hands. Aye. You pick everything you can from the plants that are giving you harvest, and I ask you who have done this: inevitably when you look closer, dont you find more? Dont you love that? This is the one that was hiding.

And so it is in your life. Your eyes adjust, but in order for your eyes to adjust, youve got to keep looking. Keep looking to see. Now, the end of that sentence is a multiple choice, in a sense, because the bottom line is to see what it is you want to see. If youre out there looking for fruit, youre going to find it. If youre out there looking for barren branches, youre going to find them too. I encourage you, let your eyes adjust to what is.

Now, if youre laying in bed in the total darkness—told you I was going to be swinging back here—if youre laying in bed in the total darkness, and you say, I cannot see a thing, I am trapped here in this bed. I am so frightened, I hate to be trapped. Well, youre going to have a pretty miserable time of it, arent you?

Or theres another thing you can do. You can say, well its not going to get any better than this, so I may as well just close my eyes and go to sleep. And a whole lot of people do that, too.

And then there are those who, because theyve been going to sleep every night for all of their lives, theyve figured out somewhere in there exactly what you did: that if you just wait a bit, your eyes will adjust, and youll be able to see more if you need to.

Im going to give you the great mystical key  to adjusting. Its patience. [Audience groans] Aye, you knew that didnt you? Youre just afraid I was going to say that. Hes going to say patience, I dont want patience. Give it to me now.

The way that you handle the large things in your life show up in the way that you handle the small things in your life. Do not be thinking that when the trumpet blast happens and in the twinkling of an eye everythings different, that youre going to all of a sudden be changed, because the big events are not what changes you, its the small ones. In fact, more often than not in your life, the big events are the ones you write off the fastest. Your ability to be patient long enough for you eyes to adjust to be able to see in the darkness is a sign that you have the patience needed for your heart to adjust so that you can see in the darkness.

That goddess that is the expression within humanity of the ultimate and feminine expression, that married that god in the dance of Lughnassadh is whole, not only in the expression of the light she bears, but also of the cloak of night she wears. Not that is, but that she wears. Did you get that?

Arianrhod in the marriage to Lugh is expressed both through the compassion and fullness of the emotional nature, but also in the very earthly expression of Macha. The representation of transformation, which is the result of the coming together of action and emotion, transformation, but that transformation, Macha, is expressed in triple form. The maiden, the mother and the crone, which is a word that does not mean the same for you.

The maiden of transformation is the expression of truth. Some call it innocence. Thats not the word. It is the free expression of truth. Think for a moment about children. As a parent, have you ever been embarrassed by a child, because they spoke the truth at a time you wished they had not. Aye, you remember too well. Because a function of transformation is the expression of truth. In this world, truth often has been called darkness. If it is unwanted, if it is unacceptable, then it is called bad. How many ways can you think of in which that is true. Politically, often. Economically, regularly. Historically, too much to count, in the function even of religious behaviors. Well, this was all right last year, but its not all right this year, because now we are more enlightened and we know more things are bad than they were then. Or the other way around. And as a result much that is truth, through the whim of societys structure at the time becomes bad, wrong, a part of the darkness.

And what Im going to try to keep pointing out to you is that the dark and the light are the same thing, its the perception at the moment. Theyre both needed, its not a dichotomy of this is should and this is should not. Its that in the wholeness of creative Source energy, one becomes a means of amplifying the other, and they both amplify each other. This is not the human construct that becomes a moral issue, which becomes a societal plague, which… Ill hop off that soap box. All right.

So that its the maiden that then continues the transformation into the mother, meant in the nicest possible way, which is speaking of compassion and unconditional love. Compassion and unconditional love as shadow effects, as darkness, as something that is considered a separate function or an opposite factor of light. How so? How could that be? Anybody. How could unconditional love, how could compassion be considered wrong?

Compassion for people whom society has felt have done the wrong things—compassion for murderers, abusers—unconditional love for those whove been rejected by society.

S: Once again, excellent love. Once again. When youre coming up against the popular standard. These are the people you love unconditionally, because theyre like you. And these are the people you do not, because they are your enemies, and you do not love them. Unconditional love for everything but the cockroaches. Unconditional love for everything but dandelions, which is a very interesting picture there. Very happy wildcats.

And finally the greatest aspect of transformation, which is both a requirement and a result is found in the crone, which is a statement of experience bringing wisdom. Action resulting in wisdom. The action of truth and compassion bringing wisdom.

This triple aspect tends to be the most misunderstood, misconstrued, misappropriated version of wholeness used to manipulate. Misused, misappropriated in order to manipulate, more than any other aspect of the ancient version of understanding the functions of god and goddess symbolically. That the highest quality of goddess energy is amplified by the darkness of transformation. That the love is sharpened by the fear, is sharpened by the love, is sharpened by the fear. And, my friends, in your life you have seen this, and you have resisted it, and as a result you have not gained empowerment from it. In resisting your fear you do not work through it to become stronger. In resisting your fear, you do not learn how to love fully in spite of it, because youre so busy trying to get over it. Your eyes adjust to the dark. If you have patience, you soon will see that its all one.

This coming time holds forth the promise, the promise of a bridegroom to his beloved bride. This is our time of wholeness. Come to me. Who reaches forth in sunshines brightness, hope, completion, action toward the light, and takes the hand of Arianrhod, the internal, the unknown, the waiting, who says, I bring with me a small bit of baggage. The baggage for most is I have so much fear that Im not honest, I do not fully love, I have not learned, and the relationship cannot withstand that. But when that bridegroom reaches out now, and says, “I want all, all,” the transformation happens. I do not fear what is to come. I have what I need. I am enough. I have the relationships, I have the connections, I have the family to help me through. I am enough. That which has been hidden may come forth into your great light, and is therefore transformed into unconditional truth, unconditional love and unending wisdom. Could you wish for more?

Those things are the fruits of these changes, of this harvest. And I, I do wish for you that the bright blessing of the unending light merge into every crevice of your being, filling you so that the truth and the love and the wisdom that is awaiting come forth in a marriage of trust and commitment so strong, that it helps eliminate the fear all around you.

This is your time. Its what you have been waiting for. Its why youre here. This night I have given you about four different messages, and they are layered. Think. Focus. Draw your conclusions, run it through your heart, hear me on all of those levels. And shine. Shine as Lugh, and bring forth life. Shine as Arianrhod, and act with hope. And shine as Macha. Patiently awaiting the transformation that the truth and the love and the wisdom you are may come forth. Some of us have been waiting. Its time.

Glochanumora. Happy trails.