Golf, A Metaphor For Life

January 1, 1995

Samuel: All right? Good. It gets better. How about a gift related to a new beginning? Hello, Frank.

Well, I always think, just like birthdays, that New Year’s Day is a day of new beginnings, and, as Lea announced, Dad passed away today, and what a wonderful day to start things new.

S: Passed away? Away?

Passed away. Died.

S: Passed on. Aye.

And what a wonderful day to start a new journey, and what a great day for me to start a new life. I think since 1988 I’ve had a critically ill or dying parent and now my journey of parents dying is over and it’s time for me to start a new life and let go of certain areas of the past and get on with my life. So it was a very big gift today in reviewing my past and cherishing my past and looking at the future, and looking at life.

S: Well said. Well said. Very nice. Aye. Tonight he begins a totally new function in life. Learning the art of being …?

An orphan.

S: Aye. And a lot of other new steps too, Frank. Congratulations, my love.

How about another? Beginning new. New life. New hope. New beginnings. Anybody?

Well, I had a gift in getting here on Friday.

S: I’d say!

Yeah, you know I was supposed to come out and take a bus to meet the person I was going to carpool with. And so I left my house and it was about … I had about five minutes to catch the bus, and of course I had bags with me so it took a little longer, and so I’m driving down the hill and I noticed there was one other car and it was real early in the morning, and the car pulled into the same lot that I was in. And it turned out to be my brother-in-law. And so we were both in Pittsburgh, and he was on his way. It was just right at that minute, and if the bus appeared about twenty seconds later, I would have gone with all those bags. So that worked out really great.

S: Coincidence, of course. Aye? And it’s very, very important that everyone of you make a very big rule in your life to be aware of all of the coincidences that happen. Why?

They’re miracles.

S: Because they are miracles. That is what coincidence is a secret word for. A miracle. And your life is filled with them. The difference between the master and the student is the student has coincidences, the master sees those miracles. That’s beautiful. Good. Good.

It is my intention this night to, oh, probably do about a three-hour lecture and try to make it real dry and try to not have a whole lot of fun. All right? Because I’m having a new beginning too! All right, maybe not. To take this opportunity to talk a little bit about life on earth. I think that, perhaps, you’re at a time in your year when so many things are ending and beginning, be it either personal or whole life or just parts, work that you do, experiences that you’ve had. One of the things that does come up is that great eternal question, over and over and over, why did I get into this in the first place? What is it about? Why am I doing it? And I thought that I might take just a few moments—actually as a bit of a gift to a friend—to remind you of a version of a story that sort of gives a perspective on that. So sit back and put on your listening ears, all right?

I want you to think about a place far, far away. A place in which spirit works. All right. Now you might have a lot of labels for a place like that, but I think that I would call it the Crystal Palace. All right? So I want you to imagine that there are a group of friends hanging out at the Crystal Palace. Can you picture this? Sort of chatting about, “Well, what are you going to do today? It’s another perfect day in paradise. Shall we float amongst the clouds for a while, or do you want ….”

And one pops up and comes around and says, “I have had the most fun lately.” And, of course, the other people hanging out there look around at this usurper that’s come in and say, “Well, where have you been? We’ve not seen you for a while. Where have you been?”

“Well, I was trying to tell you, I’ve been having the most fun lately. I went to this really magical place. It’s sort of barren right now of a whole lot of people, but it’s truly a beautiful kind of area, and I found somebody playing this interesting game. And look, let me show it to you. You go and you take a good stick, and you find a good sized pebble here, and you put it down like so, and you take your stick and you look to see how far you can hit it. And I believe that this fellow was also … “

And one of the friends pops and says, “I know that one! I know that one. That one is called … later they started calling that game golf.”

“Oh, golf!” says another one, “I know all about golf. In fact, there are some marvelous fairways and beautiful greens, marvelous courses, all across the planet in the nineteen hundred and nineties. Do you want to go take a visit and see what it’s like?” And at that point an appointment is set up for a golf game.

This, my friends, is a story about life, not about golf, but any golfer would tell you that golf is about life. Aye?

So, to move back with it, once upon a time there were four very, very good friends, and it seemed as though through the ages they had had experiences, in one dimension of work or another, in which they were going to be helping one another continue in the process of growth, in which they were going to be able to work with, work around, work in spite of, one another, and became fairly good friends as a result of that.

They got together one afternoon, trying to figure out what it is they might do and said, “You know, I believe there is an opening at the glorious golf course in Saint Andrew’s.”

“Oh sure, you just want to go there because they named it after you.”

“No, no, I think that there’s an opening now. We probably could get together and play a game. Why don’t we do that? How about one o’clock? What do you think? A one o’clock game. Shall we meet?”

One of the friends said, “I don’t think so. Listen, I’m getting really tired of going there, you know. In order to go and play golf, you’ve got to let go of everything that makes it so much easier to be here. When you go there, the only thing that you can think about is the golf course, and, you know, it’s really not a whole lot of fun to only be so focused on the game. I’m not sure that I want to go.”

“Oh, wimpy, wimpy, wimpy! You said that last time, and the only reason that you said that is because you’re not so good at the game. But the more you play, the better you’re going to get at it. So, come on, why don’t you come with us anyway?”

“Well, all right, I’m going to come, but I want you to remember that I don’t want to be the first one that tees off.”

“Don’t worry, you’re probably the last one to tee off.”

And since it was a one o’clock meeting, they also made a point of making dinner reservations at the club house so that they could, when they come back, have a nice dinner after the golf round.

Well, of course, the game itself is not so much the issue of this story. But I will make a point of saying that it was quite a decision for these players to figure out exactly how it was they were going to manage the play.

The first thing they had to decide was, of course, is that the course they wanted to play, because the planet offers so many opportunities to be able to throw a few balls around. There are the glorious courses of the early game, and then there are the glorious courses made today. “Shall we do Hawaii or shall we do St. Andrew’s?” Well, naturally being beings of great intelligence they did choose the Scottish courses. And then it was exactly how should the bag be packed, and how much should be taken along. Are you going to play the full course, or are you only going to play half of the course? Or, maybe, in this particular game you’re only going to stand and do a few practice shots, and then go on. All of those decisions were necessary and, now and again, it required a changing of the commitment. “Aye, actually this time isn’t going to work out. I’ll see if I can’t get someone else to go with you.” Maybe it took … I don’t know … how about a new golf outfit? New clothes for a new way of playing.

But, sure enough, one o’clock came and there were four ready to play for their lives. It was a good game. They had a good time. Of course, you know how it is, sometimes you lose a ball, maybe several. Or maybe you get stuck in the rough. What are some other things that might happen in a game of golf? There are a lot of golfers around here.

Out of bounds.

S: Ball might go out of bounds and then what do you do.

You’re penalized and get another.

S: You have to drop another. Begin again. Adds a few strokes, but you learn to avoid it next time, don’t you?

What else might happen?

Sand trap.

Hole in one.

S: There might be a sand trap or there might be a hole in one. Oh, if you’re lucky, dearie.

Hit on the head.

S: You might get hit on the head in the middle of the course. Aye, any number of things. A golf ball, your partner’s clubs. You might just have a nice, easy game that challenges you just enough to keep enjoying it, but not so much that you get discouraged. Those are the games that keep you coming back, aren’t they? Those are the ones that lull you into submission. “Sure, I’ll come back. It wasn’t so bad there!”

This particular day started out very blue and sunny and very nice. That’s fairly unusual around those parts, you know. As they got about half way through the game, they found that there were large sections of the course that had been radically altered since the last time there had been play. This poor foursome felt sort of lost in the midst of it. All of a sudden what had been a very familiar and easy and pleasant task for them, had become something that was going to be new. There were several responses, of course. One of the partners was very excited about it, “Oh, good, I love new experiences! They’re so good about allowing me the opportunity to try my skills and I like that. You never know what’s going to happen.”

Now, another sort of response was found in another one of the partners who was very fearful. “I don’t think I’m going to like this. What if I’m not good at this section of the course? This was the part that I always did well at. Maybe, I should just stop playing. Maybe I will go on back to the clubhouse now and wait for you. What do you think? What should I do here? I’m sort of nervous. Let me talk to a few people and find out how they’ve done it, and see what sort of information I can get. Maybe. Maybe.” And that one’s loving partner took her aside and said, “Come, let me talk to you a little bit. Let’s think about what’s going on here. Do you think that if you could personify what’s happening, you maybe [slaps knees in rhythm] name that fear? [Laughter] That was a drum roll. You do it, Stuart. [Stuart makes a drum roll] Takes a drummer! Name that fear. Now what might you name that fear? Fear of …

Failing.

S: Maybe it’s fear of failure. So what might be a nice name to personify fear of failure?

Flora Flop.

S: Flora Flop, Fear of Failure. Good work, Bonnie. Aye. And you know there are a couple things that you can do to help yourself understand what you’re so afraid of here. For instance, now that you’ve got a name on your fear and you sort of know what it’s about, and you personified it—Flora Flop—you can begin talking to Flora and let that personified fear give you information that might be helpful. Oh sure, that might work in the rest of life, but I’m not sure that it’s going to work for golf. Well, why don’t you give it a try and see?

“All right, Flora, what’s wrong here?”

“Well, remember when you were a tiny child and you were trying so hard to learn to walk, and one day you decided that maybe it was time to learn to run. Maybe you don’t remember it, but I do, and I remember that you fell and you hurt yourself a whole lot, and I don’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.”

“Oh, Flora, how kind of you. Thank you for wanting to protect me for, after all, that’s what fears are about, you know. Thank you for wanting to protect me, but I’m not likely to fall and hurt myself here. Oh, but don’t you remember when you were fourteen years old and you fell in love for the first time, and that person did not love you back.

“You see, I remember that there are a whole lot more ways to be hurt than just to fall on your face, and I’m trying to protect you from ever feeling pain.”

“Yes, but Flora, thank you again for looking after me, and you’re right I do remember that, but I also remember that then when I was fourteen and a half, I fell in love with someone else. And I learned this thing, it was “this or something better for the highest good of all involved”, and I learned to believe that, and now I know that if something doesn’t happen my way that probably something better is going to come along if I’m willing just to look for it. And I bet that this course could even be something better for me so, Flora, thank you for your help, but I don’t need it any more. You’ve been good.”

“Oh yes,” Flora says, because you know how fears are, they never let go. “I’m not finished, there’s another. Don’t you remember when you were forty-three and your daddy died. Weren’t you fearful then? Because he left you all alone. You know, don’t you, that ultimately that’s all there is that’s left, is you’re just going to be alone, and I’m trying to protect you from that. I’m trying to protect you from ever having to feel that kind of pain.”

“Well now, Flora, that’s the difference you see, you’re protecting the part of me that’s just here on the planet for a very short time, but, you know Flora, I’ve never forgotten that this is not all there is, and although it might seem that right here on this course this is all there is, something in me never forgets that there is more. So Flora, you’re doing a good job protecting my physical self, and I want to honor you for doing that, but Flora, I don’t need you now. Begone!”

And that part of the game worked pretty well, too, until further along the way it came up time to start hitting up to the end. And at this point there started to get to be a bit of competition among these friendly players. They started looking very closely at other games and the score card. And then started to look at their own plays. Well, look, if Joy is doing so well with that technique, maybe that is what I should do in my own game. Maybe I should try that, because she seems to be a lot further ahead of it than I am. So let me try that instead of what I’ve been doing.

What do you think happened then? The comparative judgment brought about a change in personal activity. What do you think happened to the game then? Let me try it this way. Look in your own life and when you stop honoring your personal, individual, unique, remarkable, magnificent self and instead begin trying to do what somebody else is, when you move from honoring your work as the best you can where you are with what you have according to the clubs and the course at the time—those are the rules you know—and you begin trying to play someone else’s game, what happens to yours? Come golfers. You cannot tell me you’ve not tried it.

Your wheels fall off.

S: Your wheels fall off. Are we playing the same game here? You lose your own game.

You fill in the blank with your age here. You have spent many years perfecting your own game, but somewhere along the line there becomes an opportunity to begin seeing how others are playing, too, and instead of choosing to look and learn, which is absolutely wonderful and works, it’s when you choose to look and learn because they’re doing better, you presume, and you must therefore try to do what they’re doing rather than what you are doing. Comparative judgment ruins the game. Comparative judgment ruins your game.

Well, in this particular case, these friends were close enough that they basically could just laugh off the silliness. They were pretty well able to see it coming and do something about it. Oh, watch it. Watch it now, there is Sallie. She’s going to show us how it’s done. And there is Alicia and she’s going to watch Sallie and try to do the very same thing, and we’ll just laugh while Alicia does that, all right? And when the snickering starts, Alicia picks up real fast and says, oh, I know what they’re doing. That’s an old habit. I’m not going to do that again. Never mind. I’m going to handle this in a new way and move forward with a new game. And she does. You can overcome old habits by consciousness.

Well, the game is finally over and these players take themselves back to the clubhouse. Jolly, happy. There they are, sitting down having a good time, having a … oh, what? A good glass of stout at the bar, eh? Maybe some nice, fine heather whiskey? Ever had that? It’s for the truly desperate. Heather ale works, but you move it much beyond that and it’s for the truly desperate. Nonetheless that’s not the point. Having a bit of ale and talking about the game. About that time a bartender wanders over and says, “You folks need any more? Hey, that was really a lot of fun in that golf game down there. I really liked the part where you chose to go in with that handicap, because it put a bit more excitement into that game.”

And that one looks up and says, “Well, wait a minute, how did you know? Oh, I recognize you. You were my fourth grade teacher. The one that tortured me so much the whole time, weren’t you? Always giving me a hard time and not letting me get away with anything.”

“Well, of course,” the bartender says, “Because I know what you’re like here, you know? And I know that it’s real easy for you to get into people’s soft spots and manipulate them to take care of you, and I could see that you were going to become so soft and so good at manipulating that you’d never be able to play golf. Pretty soon you’d have somebody else playing it for you. And so I thought it was necessary to not give in to you. And I know you thought I was a tyrant being with you. But it was just for a short while. In fact, I did it on my afternoon break and wasn’t […] at all. I just wanted to pop in and stick a few pins in you to remind you that you’ve got to be strong.”

“Well, I thought taking on a handicap would do it.”

“Yes, but you know how it is. You’ve got that choice. You can choose to become stronger in spite of the obstacles, or you choose to learn how to make others around you keep you weak, because it’s easier than being strong.”

“Well, you’re right, I needed it. I was sort of on that path and I appreciate you being there for me. By the way, have one of the pins back.”

About that time the serving personnel came up and said, “Enjoyed that game. Do you want anything to eat or … you there! You went down there with a huge eating disorder, didn’t you? So you probably don’t want anything to eat, do you? You’ve had enough for several lifetimes, it looks like to me.”

“Oh, sure, it’s easy now to laugh when the game is over, but it was really difficult at the time, you know, because I went there with a genetic structure that was prone to addictive behavior.”

And about that time the others at the table are sort of snickering around there. “Prone to addictive behavior. All humans are prone to addictive behavior. It’s part of the game. What was it you were really dealing with there? Come on, now you can look back at it and see.”

“Well, you’re right, I really could not tell there at the time, could I? You know, I think that what it was was that I went there with such an incredible purpose, because I saw that while I could meet you for the one o’clock golf game, the world could be changed, perhaps, between twelve thirty and one. If I just went a bit early, I might could make a big difference. And so I went down to the planet and had just a really quick life, took over three countries, started making a march on the world, and got cut down in my tracks. Well, I had about five minutes to lick my wounds before the game, and I guess I just kept licking, and licking, and licking them.”

They started talking about the game amongst themselves. “How was it for you?”

“Did you do anything special this time?”

“I liked the costume that you wore this time.”

“I thought it was fairly unusual.”

“You went as a woman this time and you usually choose for your energy to go in a masculine way. What made you choose that difference?”

“Well you know, I was going with the 1990’s, North America construct, and feminine energy is coming into its power there, and I wanted to see if I could be a part of that.”

“Oh, well, how did it work?”

“Well, I never could seem to get beyond the form stuff. They seem to have so much issue there with all the outer parts, that it seemed to be difficult to pay attention to what was going on in the inner parts. So I’m hoping that next time I might be able to work that out with a bit more strength. Maybe come in in a feminine body with a very strong masculine construct.”

“Oh wait, I did that once, and that is called an alternative lifestyle, and it’s just like six hundred years ago when they were burning people at the stake. You’d better be careful with that one, because that one has some difficulties, too.”

“Oh well, all right, thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.”

Well of course, somewhere in the midst of the game they had to talk about that incredible happening in the midst of the course when the golf pro started going around and helping and teaching. “What did you think of the golf pro that time? Looks like St. Andrews has a very strange sort of golf pro, don’t you think? Had the audacity to tell me that I did not have my swing right. Tried to show me a better way to hit the ball. As if I did not know.”

“Well, what did that golf pro look like to you?”

“Oh, I’m not real sure. It was just some plain looking fellow.”

“Fellow? Interesting. The golf pro that I met up with was a woman.”

“Oh, really,” the other one says, “a child’s the one I saw, I thought it was some sort of prodigy. Must be some sort of prodigy wandering around the course, giving help to everybody.”

And the fourth one says, “That’s not what I saw at all. It was little tiny old woman. Sort of an old wise person.”

“Wait a minute. What is this? Every one of us saw a different golf pro? What is the information you got?”

And as they compared notes they found that the information was basically the same. And so it caused them to wonder how that could be. And just about that time, they looked over at one of the other tables and they happened to see another foursome. An interesting-looking fellow, a young child who seemed to be perhaps a golf prodigy, an old … you’ve got it. The golf pros were having their own convention, it seemed, over at another table. And so the foursome picked up and went to that other table and said, “May we ask you a question please? It appeared that you all had the same information to give and yet you showed up in different forms to all of us. Why is that? Why doesn’t this course have just one great master golfer helping everybody?”

“Well,” started out the little old wizened lady, “it’s because you respond so well to the wisdom of the ancients. I felt that it would be best to give you the secrets of a good golf game in the form of a wizened old one.”

“Well, looks like some plain old folk. What about you? You look like the perfect one to me.”

“Well, you see, that’s exactly what my disguise was about for you. If I had come looking anything other than like your next door neighbor, you would not have listened.”

“Oh but, don’t you see that actually was part of the difficulty for me. It’s because you looked so much like my next door neighbor, I almost did not listen.”

“Well, that is the risk, isn’t it? But you know it’s part of the lessoning on learning to accept the best golf tips anywhere, anytime, from anyone, from any situation. Very often the greatest masters look like the most normal people. So it does you well to keep on your toes, doesn’t it?”

“Well, what about this little pipsqueak? I thought for sure that you must be some sort of prodigy wandering round with such wise information, and yet you are just a little child.”

The child did not look up and say, “I’m a four thousand year old elf. Stop that.” It looked up and said, “But don’t you remember a teacher that once said you must come as the little children. And that’s what I was doing. I was coming with the pure wisdom of a child to remind you of that child’s view of the world. My work was to remind you not to take it all so seriously, to remember that it’s a game.”

They continued their discussion back at their table, because about that time their dinner had come. And they talked about whether or not they wanted to do it again. “I understand that in … let’s see … about five minutes there’s going to be another really remarkable game coming up. That that whole planet is going to be so totally different than it’s ever been, that there are going to be new golf courses set in the most remarkable locations. That there are going to be many new players.”

“Well, what are you talking about here? What’s going on?”

“Have you not heard? Apparently 1995 through the end of that age is going to open up seven portals, allowing many golf pros to come and help.”

“Oh, I’ve not heard that. When is it going to start? When is that going to happen?”

“Well, I told you. In just a few minutes.”

“So what do you think? Shall we do it? Shall we go and have another game? Shall we go into the world? I think that we could be back for an after-dinner drink before they even serve those. What do you say? It’s only a game. Do you want to do it again?”

Golf. Which any player will tell you is “flog” backwards. Life. “I want to go down this time and play the best game I’ve ever played. It’s a new course, but I’m not afraid and I want to see if I can’t hit a new course record. I want to go check out the clubhouse, and some never get beyond it. I want to go and experience a bit of recreation.”

Now most of the time when I tell that story it’s the midst of a golf game on the grounds of the Crystal Palace, and there is a five minute intermission to come back at lunch after having a brief time of helping on the planet, but I wanted this time to use the game itself as a—fairly pitiful I will grant—but a metaphor for how you live. It is a game. It’s not a long game. It’s not particularly a hard game, but it takes intense practice to master it. It gives you a fairly good workout. It works out your mental kinks. It works out your notion of blocks. It works out your physical ones, too. It is a marvelous metaphor, no matter how poorly told. It is a marvelous metaphor for life in which not so very long ago you looked down upon the planet—beautiful and shining—and you said, “Looks like a good course down there. I’m going to give it a try. I’ll be back in five minutes, all right? You won’t miss me.”

Sometimes, darling, in the midst of the game, it’s easy to forget it’s but a game. Sometimes in the midst of the competition, you forget that what you’re there for is to increase your own personal skill.

You are beginning a new year, a new game if you will, and I would like to encourage you to three things for this year. Three things. That you commit—energy sucks right in when I say that word! Look about the room that’s feeling so good. Three things. That’s easy. I can do three things. That you commit … oops … to a year of putting love before you. To forgiveness. Forgiveness. Which is, by the way, putting love behind you. And the third thing is to have joy on your lips. [Audience laughing as Samuel looks at Joy in the audience] And so she’s going to have a really good year! Well, now you see what I was stopping from saying was to have passion on your lips, and then I thought, no, they’re going to misunderstand that one for sure. And then came out with joy on your lips and there it is. All right, let’s try it again. Delight in life on your lips. What do I mean by delight in life on your lips, joy, passion. What am I saying?

Be positive.

S: Be positive. Show it. Speak it.

Raise everything to the highest level.

S: Raise it to the highest level to the point that you believe it.

Have loving experiences.

S: Ah, yes. And tell them. I mean, on your lips. Because what you say is a very sacred magic. It is a threefold process, a triune process, which is much magic. The first one, however, the reason its communication is not magic for most people is because, instead of it being threefold it is only twofold. They miss this very important first part of it, that is, you think what you’re going to say first. Most communication fails because they miss that part of it. But the first is you think it, you hear it in your head. This has been a marvelous experience, thank you for it, and then you say, “Yes, those are good words. I must say them.” And then the second thing is you do, you say them. And the third is as you speak them, you hear them, which impresses it the third time.

They key to manifestation is repetition … are you going to finish this for me?

Intensity.

S: Intensity. And consistency. The intensity is the passion, the excitement, the joy.

1995 is, without a doubt, going to be the most remarkable year you’ve ever had, because the old is going. But if the only thing you have in your life is the old, then Flora Flop will be your best friend, because you will be living in fear. The old is passing away. The new is coming. Joy and excitement, delight, passion, heals the old and births the new. Think about that. Your joys, your delights, your excitement, your passions now, those are the things that heal the old and birth the new.

This can be the best golf game you’ve ever had. The best course you’ve ever played. It can be the most fun you’ve ever had playing it. Oh sure, maybe it started out a bit rocky, but you’ve got a feel for the game now. You came here, my friend, because you have a few golf tips up your sleeve that the world needs. You’ve got a bit of mastery under your belt and a way of expressing it that nobody else can give. And your job is to play that game until you know what those gifts are. To play that game until you believe that mastery. Just practice. It’s a quick game.

Glochanumora, my friends. Happy, happy trails.