February 3, 2013

Samuel: Hello, dears.

Hello, Samuel.

S: Small but cozy, eh? There are evil chairs here and there that can’t be sat upon, is that it? Well, I say that’s probably evil. An empty chair is an evil chair. They need a Guardian’s energy.

All right, so how has your month gone so far? [Looks at Suzie’s trophy] Did I win something? What does it say?

Susan B. Fiemster Award. It’s the pioneer award for being a pioneer in women’s athletics, when Title IX was the thing that made gender equity forty years ago. There were seven of us coaches that were being honored for being in the right place at the right time, forty years ago being the first coaches.

S: And you were just born, weren’t you?

Yeah, I was.

S: Lovely. Why?

Wanted to put that good stuff into the Grid.

S: Into the Grid you go.

The month? Since I have been here last, that last first Sunday, that month.

Good.

The Guardianship Program started, and it’s been great.

S: Good, good. Anybody in the Guardianship Program finding that you’re learning something that you didn’t know before? Tell me something.

I like sugar. [laughter]

S: So what are you trading it in for?

Uh . . . I had to give it up.

S: You traded it in for something. What did you trade it in for?

Uh

S: Are you having nothing sweet but Ken? That’s it?

I guess fruit.

S: Anybody want to give her a few suggestions that are not sugar but work just fine for The Guardianship Program?

I found that when I am craving sweets, I am generally low on protein, so I generally eat nuts or almond butter or something like that.

S: Now, that’s not necessarily true for everybody, but you might check to see if it’s a protein or carbohydrate you’re craving.

Agave

Honey

I use little dates and make bars out of them, and put coconut on the outside, and make it a little treat.

S: And by that, you mean dried dates, yes? Because you do not want to eat a raw date. Good, yes, very good.

We can’t have soft fruit, so I found making a Waldorf salad with celery and dried currants with some Vegenaise really satisfies my sweet tooth, and it’s a hard fruit.

S: But stay away from the currents. Good, good.

Can we change subjects?

S: If it’s still about what you’re learning about yourself.

I find media-free days give me a quiet reflection where I appreciate what’s more meaningful in life, at a greater depth.

S: Very good, very good. Anyone else finding that not having all that electronic stuff pulling at you? Nice, very, very good.

I’m sleeping better.

S: Sleeping better. Not a surprise, glad to hear that.

I’m always surrounded by electronics, but I hadn’t realized I was playing games in the past on my phone. And I said, “This is crazy,” so I took them all off my phone. And I don’t miss them. But when they were there, I would just use them.

S: And, that you don’t miss them, does that surprise you?

Yes.

S: Its amazing how adaptable you are.

[Motions to Mary Claire] That was to you to bring my puppy up here. I want to have a puppy fix.

More, what are you getting, what are you leaning about self? Suzanne and Jean and Mary.

Okay. I don’t want to distract from the puppy.

S: Too late.

What I’m learning is the exercise I’ve been doing for years and years was just pitiful compared to what you have been wanting us to do.

S: Better than nothing, though.

Yeah, so considering that I have been exercising, I am going with five days instead of three days. But I’ve been searching for interval training that works with wimpy knees. And there is some, so that’s good. And then I am a little less pitiful than I was last week. And I am starting to see muscles in places I hadn’t seen muscles for a while before.

S: How do you like that?

Well, I’m really proud of myself. It doesn’t really feel good yet, except sometimes it does, for a moment here and there, and I can do ten seconds longer than I could last week, so I know that I’m making progress. So I am looking forward to seeing how much progress I can make.

S: Nice, nice. Suzanne.

I’ve been on pretty much the same diet for a long time anyway, because there’s so many things that I can’t eat. But I’ve discovered in the last week that I don’t need blood pressure medicine anymore; it’s really changed my body.

S: Nice, nice, good work, good work.

I find when I think about having to change my diet I get cranky, but I have found am doing okay. Which is a change versus complaining about it all the time. I just try to find other options. It’s working, and Suzie is doing a great job of coming up with new options.

S: And remember that replacing is what you want. Don’t just leave a hole. Replace it. Instead of “Eat This, Eat This,” that is a book?

“Eat This, Not That.”

S: Well, it’s based on a manifestation principle. You’re only going to be searching for something to fill the hole if you don’t have it planned already.

[Looking at the puppy, Quinn] Can you see how he has grown since a puppy on my lap, eh? Look at that. Are you making it in this world all right? He says he’s been to school. And did you like school? He likes one school but not the other. He goes to two schools. He says he gets to play more at one than the other. So, how are you enjoying your earth experience? How’s it going for you, that earth part, eh? I’d say that both sets made an excellent choice. He says he would not like it at all if it were not for his humans. That was his love to all of you. Here is the chore, all right? [whispers to the dog] It’ll make you very, very happy. Thank you, darling.

He’ll be the first wolf hound poodle, which would be a Woof-dle. A French wolf, or something like that. Now Martin, when a dog is trying to tell you it wants to be your friend, you have to accept that honor and give it back.

Anybody learning anything from the homework? What are you getting from it?

I didn’t think that I was the kind of person that liked a lot of new experiences but I like new experiences. When I do something new, I’m happier, so it’s pushing me to do more new things.

S: I’m just trying to put together that the woman who was married by Elvis doesn’t like new experiences. [laughter]

I guess I just don’t know myself. [more laughter]

S: I’m so glad that you’re just finding that out. That’s good.

This week’s exercise just totally baffles me because I can’t figure out where I want to go on vacation or who I want to go with. All my people-pleasing and all those things are coming up and I think, Oh my god, I can’t leave this person back or what will this person think? This is the hardest exercise I’ve ever done.

S: And you hit the key for yourself with it that recognizing that the people-pleasing part of you has been the first priority in your life for so long that you’re not real sure what you want, or what you would do, or where you would go because you’re so used to thinking about that as it relates to others. I’m going to say that’s a typical Guardianship thing, but I’m going to say it differently. That should be a typical Guardian thing, because ideally you are regularly thinking about unity and how what you are doing is going to affect others. But you cannot give up yourself in that, otherwise you’re not functioning in unity. You are functioning in tyranny, you see? Somebody else’s tyranny, and they may not even want that role. So, walk carefully that line between “this is a function of unity that I am choosing to let go of my specific need at this point for a greater good,” because that is very different from,“I have no idea what my needs are so I may as well let it go.” It’s going to be a great, great, week then.

One of the other things that has come up this week is my sabotages for success.

S: It will keep coming up; that’s how it is. Eh? David, and then Suzie

This week’s homework in particular, I find it interesting that I knew what I would like to do, but okay, then there’s who would you have there? There are people that I’d like to be there, but I also wrote “only if they want to,” because I don’t want them there if they’re not going to have fun, but I’m going. And that kind of surprised me. Because before I think that I would want to drag people with me even if they would be kicking and screaming, just because I want to share that with them, but then I realized that not everybody likes what I like, in fact, very few people.

S: But are you all right with that?

Yes.

S: Good, very good. Then that’s the key. Very good work.

I was having a really hard time remembering specific events, until all of a sudden I remembered that I of course have my report cards from first through seventh grades, because my father kept them for me. And it was really revealing to me because of course they knew who I was, at least in the first through fourth grade. They saw this person who you all know. It was really cool because I have always been me.

S: It’s pretty rare, because the world does what it can to make you conform. It needs you to, because conformity means they’re all right. And you’re safe. You see?

I found in this week’s homework, as well as the workshop area, that after going into the homework and getting the workshop, that all at once creative things started flying around that I didn’t anticipate and haven’t experienced in such a way before.

S: Nice, and that has to do with passion. Good, good, good.

The Guardianship Program this time around is really going to be a huge help for you. But what it’s putting into the Grid is really important, really important.

Are you wrestling my dog to the ground?

[. . .]

S: You can go see him, go ahead. [regarding the dog] He loves you, too. I got my fix, you can have your fix now too, it’s all right.

Telling Cam before the meeting tonight that they’re getting the experience of parenting in a big way; it’s like having a toddler with all the buggy, the leash, the whole thing, like having a baby.

S: And there is a period of time where you really can’t leave a puppy alone, and then there’s a period of time where your life is oriented around the schedule of that tiny creature. And bigger, and bigger and bigger creature. It’s very involved.

I have even suggested that perhaps this is a year two  Guardianship Programs could be useful. Steven is saying, “No, no, no!”

[. . .]  [laughter]

S: Out-of-towners, too. Atlanta has a small group and would like more people to do the program that could not and since they have a program that allows Skyping, it would be nice if it could keep going for them.

This month has a lot going on in it. Several Guardian birthdays, yes? So there’s a lots of birthday energy packed into this room right now. You have your love holiday. And your Black History Awareness days, and you have Presidents’ Days and you have “you might almost get hit by an asteroid on the fifteenth” day.

Groundhog’s Day

S: And you just passed Groundhog Day. Never quite understood that one. Never makes sense. The groundhog sees his shadow, it means, there’s six more weeks of winter.

[. . .]

S: It doesn’t make much sense to me in that Punxsutawney. They’ve taught me that word. Be proud of me.

There’s something in common with very many of those particular things going on right now, and I’m going o mention them again, it is your Valentine’s Day, Black History Month, Presidents’ Day, many Guardians birthdays, and “you might get hit by an asteroid on the fifteenth day”. It’s very big, and it’s coming between the satellites and the earth, very, very close, closer than the last one. You sent a lot of energy to that second Grid. It’s staying on a practical course, but it should not be a problem. But what it might do to your communications, watch out, watch out. At any rate, what might those things have in common?

Well, recognition. Well, you’re recognizing the presidents, you’re recognizing the love and the person you’re having your Valentine’s with, you’re recognizing the contribution of those in the Black awareness. And you’re recognizing the potential threat out there to be aware of.

S: Right, recognition isn’t the word I’d quite use, but I can go with that, but that’s good. Any other thoughts?

Awareness of how change can happen.

S: Very good, and getting even closer to what I was thinking with it, because yes, change does happen, and it can happen really quickly. It can happen with things of your heart, it can happen in the way you see history, yes, it can happen. Any more?

Leadership.

S: Very much. Why?

Thinking of all of them, whether it’s recognizing someone you love, you take the leadership to do that; the presidents led our country. The whole group of them reminded me of those who take risks and choose to work for the whole.

S: There. They all involve risk. Now, I did not mention the gopher—the groundhog—but am sure it has some kind of risk in there. But that’s not in my list.

He wonders if the sun is shining

S: Wondering if the sun is shining because . . .

How does Presidents’ Day represent a risk. What kind of risk might that be about?

Some of those president honored put lives at stake in order to put forth something they believed deeply in, to serve other people.

S: Very good, very good. Correct me if this is not right: I believe that it is Washington and Lincoln, yes? And both of them had a very powerful impact on the way your country functions, but in both cases they had to step out of their own needs and desires and look at the good of the greater whole. They had to stand up for what they believed in and draw others to them to join that fight. They had to make a difference.

They also had to have a vision of what could be.

S: Good, good. Which very much leads to Black History Month. How does that fit in with this idea?

Well, the people, African-Americans, blacks were not recognized as being leaders. They were subjugated, and so just because of that, if they stepped out of the ordinary and led in any way, they were risking their lives

S: In spite of laws and culture that worked to do everything it could to hold them down, this month honors those who stood up and brought massive change, first in awareness, then in the laws of your country, at great personal risk.

In the horoscopes you read the qualities of people born in this time, and they see further into the future, their vision is ahead of themselves. They look ahead to a time that could be better, different.

S: Where does Valentine’s Day fit into that?

I think it’s a risk to love someone else, to put your heart out there and connect with another.

S: That’s right, that’s right. Again letting go of one’s personal versions of “you know, it would be a whole lot easier if I stayed in the house, did not step out, did not make an effort to connect with others. Do not risk being told no. Do not risk a loss.” When you were a child, and your school—did they celebrate Valentine’s Day? And you were very, very clear about who got the most valentines, and that was meaningful somehow, that if this person got more than you did, or . . .

Risky

S: You know, I see that amongst adults. If I don’t do this just right, I might be rejected. If I don’t give everybody the exact same thing, someone will feel left out. Same game, different ages.

Love, a relationship of any kind, is a risk, but you’re not happy without them.

To add to that?

I was thinking that all of these groups made conscious choices to do something different, to step outside of their box to do something different in the world.

S: Nice. A conscious decision to step outside of the box, which can lead to a change if not in the world as a whole, definitely in your world.

February is about service, service that often includes sacrifice. I want you to think for a moment about sacrifice. That’s a word I found in Malta gets people kind of excited, not necessarily in the best sort of way. What does sacrifice have to do with service, and what does that have to do with you?

Risk and sacrifice used interchangeably in the sense that when you take a risk, you don’t know how it turns out?

S: Sacrificing what?

Your comfort zone.

S: Yes, yes, sacrificing normal. Sacrificing your comfort zone is the only sacrifice you are ever making; everything else falls into line after that. The big sacrifice is taking that first step. Because that’s when you’re giving it all up just in case. You don’t know what’s going to happen at that point. You don’t know that actually what’s  going to happen is it’s not going to be such a big deal after all or it’s going to be far more than you thought. You don’t know. It’s that first step that is the sacrifice. That first step toward a change out of what has always been, be that the comfort of a long-standing government, even if it is tyranny; the comfort of a relationship in which nobody is happy but nobody wants to do anything about that, be it that first step into moving outside of yourself and getting more involved in the lives of others, developing relationships, working to serve and give and do. That first step is the sacrifice. So yes, I would definitely say in that case risk and sacrifice can be changed out.

There was a time that sacrifice required loss, and it had to be an important loss. And the more important the magic you needed the greater the loss you had to have. And cultures kind of took that whole belief system in so that the more pain you went through the more gain you were going to get from it. It’s sick, really sick.

Sacrifice has a twin whose name is service and they are identical twins. Sometimes it’s very hard to determine which one you’re looking at.

Are you sacrifice or service, I’m never quite able to tell?

Depends on the day.

S: Why is that?

I was thinking of Toning, and I lead Toning and most of the time, it’s a service and a joy.

S: No darling, it’s always a service; it’s not always a joy.

And so the days that it’s not a joy, I’m tired, I’m dragging, I can’t string two coherent words together. They just kind of lead me through it. That’s when it’s more of a sacrifice.

S: Aye, so why bother? Because everyone would understand, everybody takes time off.

Well, I actually do sometimes. But because I feel better when I do it, and then because I know, I’ve had a lot of experience, that the overall thing is this joyful activity. And even just walking in the room [and hearing] “She’s here” just makes it worth it.

S: The reason why sacrifice and therefore service have an “uh-oh” kind of reputation is because they involve commitment. Everything good in your life is good because you have committed to it. And until you have made a commitment to it, it’s not as good. When you commit, a change happens within you. You move from being a spectator to a leader. You are involved. A commitment says, “I choose . . .” and what comes after that? “You “ or “this.” “I choose” is a very scary thing for people-pleasing humans to do. “I choose . . . you.” “I choose to be a part of this.” “I choose to give time here, I choose to move out of my cozy little cave and go to this toning that is supposed to be helping me become a better person.”

Commitment is involved in service, is involved in sacrifice, is involved in everything that has meaning to you. And when you can allow yourself to simply allow “This service is my choice. I choose to go to toning.” “I choose to be a part of the Leadership.” “I choose to help this organization grown and change.” “I choose to sacrifice time, sacrifice the Super Bowl. ”

[. . .]

S: Well for some.

“I choose . . .” So what does a Guardian choose? What does a Guardian sacrifice? What does a Guardian commit to? To come here at all, what did a Guardian sacrifice? To be here now, taking on a body, what did you sacrifice?

Memory.

S: Memory of what you were is part of what you sacrifice. You sacrificed having no boundaries to take on a boundary.

I sacrificed a long time ago when I first came, but I don’t feel the sacrifice when I keep coming.

S: Nice, nice. Did you hear that? Long ago, when she first came, it was a sacrifice, but as time goes on, it is not. Lexington has a Steering Committee as part of the Leadership, and the Leadership takes part in the Steering Committee on a rotating basis. The last Steering Committee volunteers made the comment that it wasn’t nearly as hard as they thought it would be. Which wasn’t to say there wasn’t a whole lot of work, because there was, but to say I was prepared for this really huge sacrifice but it wasn’t. That’s the kind of sacrifice your life should be.

All right, “I thought it was going to be hard, but I find I get a lot out of it, and it’s worth it.” But you only can ever feel that when you have made a commitment. Spectators don’t get that. It’s only when you are willing to give it all that you get the relief of all not being needed. It’s not true that you find out that giving your all didn’t take anything away.

When I talk about sacrifice, I know in my own life, at first, it’s always been looking back on something, “Oh, that wasn’t so bad.” And then for me as I move through life the trust factor kicks in, and it’s “Oh, it wasn’t so hard the last time so it shouldn’t be so hard this time.” But I have to remind myself of that.

S: Pay attention, review it. Yes, yes.

It seems like it’s a matter of semantics, because it doesn’t seem like so much of a sacrifice if you want to do it, to give, because that gift in and of itself is rewarding. And I think what it is sometimes for me, anyway, makes it seem like a sacrifice is the fear of what it would be or not entail, which is why I sometimes don’t want it.

S: Well said, well said. The fact is, though, even when you want to do it there is sacrifice involved. And if you can allow yourself to realize that the sacrifice of time means something and the sacrifice of your money means something even if you are happy to give it, so that words stop having power over you, then you get to have the magic without the loss. You get to have the gain without the pain.

I think the example of coming to The Guardianship Program, for me this year, is exactly that. I see the sacrifice because it takes an hour and forty minutes to come from Indiana to here on Monday nights, but the magic or the joy, because I made the commitment, I knew that I’d do it, and I’d figure out a way to plan to make it happen. And I get the joy of participating in something that gives me so much back. I get to spend so much time with Laura on at least part of that route. I get so much back; I don’t feel that it’s a burden.

S: Nice, nice, very nice.

I do see the sacrifice to my time, the loss of work time that I have to make up. It’s there.

S: It’s exactly the kind of sacrifice that service is built on. You’ve got to arrange your life to make it happen. It’s not always pleasant, but saying yes and making that effort to make it happen and having the successes that come from fulfilling that commitment, and any other piece of good that comes out of it, it just adds to that. You have become a better, stronger, more powerful, more reliable person because you said yes and made it work. It’s a gift to you, to everybody in the program, and because of the nature of your being, to the world as a whole. It’s so powerful, but it requires taking the first step. It requires getting out of your comfort zone, be it because you are working to be a leader in this world, because you are working to change your life for the better, because you are working to bring people into your life. The sacrifice, the service, the power that comes from it require you taking that first step.

February of this year, as March will be, is still in a very important spectrum of time, and it needs it, February. This world needs you during the month of February to be at your best. Can you commit to that, even if it requires sacrifice? And what will that mean? What does that look like in your life? What does it look like with regard to your leadership? With regard to you standing up for what you believe? For what the world needs? For what is true and right and good? What can you do? What can you commit to?

I’ve made reference a couple of times to this space object coming your direction. And I have also said, and I hope very, very clearly, that it’s very hard to move these things off their path because they’re functioning at a velocity that really doesn’t go with much change. You’re not scheduled for a big hit, but what if it did get knocked off and you were scheduled for that hit? How would that change your life? How would it effect the commitments you currently have? Would they even matter? What in your life would you wish you already knew to be able to help a world that sustained a hit like that? No, it would not destroy your world, not that big. It’d shake it up, cause a mess—no more questions about climate change then.

What do you have to offer a world in change? What kind of leader are you? How can you help? What do you have to offer? How much practical stuff can you help with? If you did not have your Internet, how would your life change? If you did not have Wi-Fi and cellular phones, how would your life change? If you weren’t able to drop an email to somebody and receive it in a moment, how would they know you care about them? Do they, already?

This world is in chaos, and this world is in massive change. And your next-door neighbor, the people in your city, they do need your help. They don’t know what you know. They are chickens without heads.

Ew!

S: Good. That’s true, you know.

So here comes the question for February: What good are you in this world? What do you have to offer? Are you making a difference now? Because when life gets tough, if you’re not making a difference now, you’re sure not making a difference later. What are you doing that’s changing this world? What are you doing that’s making it a better place? What are you doing that’s making somebody else’s life change? You’ve spent a long time working on yourself already. You’ve got it but you can only change the world by changing self first. You’ve got that one pretty well figured out now. How are you changing the lives of others? It takes sacrifice, conscious commitment, a willingness to serve, to move out of the comfort zone, to say yes. It takes a willingness to stop taking notes and becoming noted. I’ll give you a report card in March, all right?

Really important month. Give it your best. Step out and do.

Glochanumora.a