November 3, 2002

Samuel: Hello, dears.


S: All right, let’s put you in the dark and me in the light. All right.

Do you want us to turn the lights down?

S: I just wanted to settle it down a bit. Is that going to work for you? All right. Good. And how does it feel sitting out there in the darkness? Cast adrift.

Don’t answer this out loud, but answer this. How are you? How long have you been whatever it is you just answered? Did you give an answer or a habit? How different is it from how you want to be? What’s involved in being or becoming how it is you want to be?

And all of that was my way of saying, “hah!” As well as a reminder that it’s extremely important. You’re moving into that time of year that in this country your society things start compressing. Now, most of you know that things have been compressing over the last few years, particularly so over this last year, and over this last six months. Have you noticed that in your life? Have you all been feeling that everything’s speeding up? It is. And you’re about to move into a time, simply because of all the things that are going on with mass consciousness, with your day-to-day self, that has you needing to stop, take stock, know how you are, know how you want to be, and determine what is needed to take you from one to the other if they’re not the same. Why is that? What is this moving into? [Long pause] All right, I’ll give you a hint.

The holiday season.

S: That’s the one. Say it again

The holiday season.

S: The holiday season. Here it is in the month of November . . . here it is in the month of November—the only thing I could think of was the word turkey. There’s not a month of turkey here, is there? You bunch of vegetarians, it doesn’t matter anyway. The month of Tofu just does not have the same ring.

In the month of November, you begin moving into holiday season, and what holidays? No, I did not ask that question. Just bring it right back and I’ll put it away again, because there are so many holidays that work around this time, holidays that you’re probably familiar with, and a lot of holidays that you’re not so familiar with. It’s a very busy time.

And it’s also a very easy time for you to lose you. And I don’t want that. I don’t want it for you, and being the selfish being that I am, I don’t want it for the world either. You’re very needed.

Now, why did I say it’s very easy to lose yourself during a busy holiday time? Kay.

Well, you get real involved with all those extra things of cooking, baking, wrapping, shopping, and . . . 

S: Just a moment. Who here cooks, bakes, wraps, shops? A lot of you.

Then all of a sudden your feet hurt or you have a headache, or you haven’t eaten well?

S: Who here doesn’t eat well? Ought to be a lot more hands up than that. Sorry, love.

You start being grumpy and grouchy and worn down and not sleeping well, and you certainly can’t go about your day giving out love and light with your feet hurting and grumpy and grouchy.

S: Certainly it isn’t optimal for choosing to do that when there are so many things dragging at your consciousness saying hurt, tired, sick. Sure.

What are some of the other stresses? Kathy.

We seem to think this is the time of the year that families should be doing what they haven’t been doing all year long, which is probably not having a good time.

S: Aren’t humans great? Say that again, I liked it?

Paying attention to our families that we don’t have all year long, and we don’t practice it enough so it’s very stressful.

S: Anybody else here have that happen in your lives? That’s not saying that you don’t get along with your siblings or your parents or your children, it’s not saying that you don’t love each other. It’s saying that you’ve learned how to live your own life without running too much into them.

And one of the ways that you’ve learned how to do that is, for instance, not spending more than an hour together at a time, or a half-hour—you know what the limitation is. “All right, if I am here more than an hour, I will begin to . . . ” What? Growl like a dog.

It’s like here you were, living light and love and doing all these things, and then you go with your family and get sucked right back into that family drama.

S: There you are, eight years old again and being left out. There it is. Aye. Well, you know, it just is there, that experience is just there to affirm to you that it’s true. Your mother always did like her best. Just kidding! That’s not true.

Well that’s right, though. That’s exactly what happens. There is a tendency to get sucked right back into the old patterns. And, of course, that never ever happens any other time in your life, does it? But because the holidays have this mystique, perhaps—peace on earth, love to everybody, it’s a wonderful life to live here sort of thing—you feel like you should be able to do more, give more, be more. And that’s all right, it never ever harms you to feel that way.

You fall into trouble, though, when you judge yourself because you’re not feeling that way. And that starts the round going, that starts the difficulty. Actually, that should be Kay, don’t you think, because you have these expectations that say this is a time of love and goodwill to all, and in order to show my love and goodwill to all, I must add to my very busy life already about ten more things than I ever let in any other time of the year. I must socialize with people I never socialize with. I must submit to things I never usually submit to. Now that sounds like an interesting direction to go, don’t you think. Being willing to submit to such things as the teasing that your brother’s never gotten finished with that really does hurt your feelings. The comparative judgment that shows up with your friends when you visit them—those you haven’t seen in five years, ten years, forty years—oops. These stresses often bring you to a point at which you don’t enjoy the wonders of the season, the love that is there, the power, the growth, the joy.

This is starting into the stressful time of year, and I’d like to take just a few of your moments this night to talk to you about some things that you can do that will help you get through it. Remember as I’m speaking this night that it doesn’t matter what holidays you celebrate, even if you celebrate holidays. There are various times in your life in which things gets compacted, in which expectations tend to move you, even if they do not motivate you, in which you feel oppressed, depressed, suppressed. Any more of those that fit in there?

Yes, obsessed.

S: Obsessed. That’s very good. Yes. Yes. And so, although this is opening the door in November to the traditional American holiday season, don’t limit it to this. You can use this many times in your life.

I want you to remember that tonight I’m not going to be teaching you something brand new that you’ve never heard, that you can tuck away into your heart and say, “Wow,” unless you just want to. Remember, dear ones, that when I teach something you didn’t know, that means something’s wrong. It says you’re not remembering, which is really what it’s about.

I’m going to be giving some suggestions tonight that are very simple. That’s part of the reason why they have been neglected, because they are simple. But I want you to remember, though, that it’s not pick and choose which one of these you want; it’s all of them. Every one of these is a part of bringing a manifestation of joy into your life.

And it begins with taking time. Now, time—it’s an illusion. Right? But it’s an illusion you live with. It doesn’t matter how metaphysically oriented you want to be about the fourth-dimensional construct of this particular aspect of living on this planet at this time. It doesn’t matter. Time is a reality for you. When I say take time—wait, let me back up a bit first. These suggestions that I’m going to be giving, which I said are for you to manifest joy, I want to explain just a slight bit more about manifestation.

Do you remind yourself regularly—if you know, and if you don’t know hear, hear—you are a piece of Source. A magnificent being of light, of love, energy that has manifested in form for a purpose, and that purpose—in a very, very large view—that purpose is to remember that you are a part of Source.

Some of those who are here remembering that they are a part of Source are also remembering something else, and that is remembering that they have come here for a purpose, and that purpose is to function as Guardians—to guide, to guard mass consciousness, to help them remember. Teachers and healers, helpers, here for a purpose, awakening to that purpose and activating it in your life. And without trying to rub it in too much, the real bottom line with that one is, until you are actively recognizing the Source you are and using that in this world, you’re not going to be happy. You’re always going to be seeking to fill the hole. The really sad part of that is, the truth is there is not a hole. You are what you fill it with. You are what you seek.

But the process of recognizing that you are what you seek brings to you all manner of interesting experiences that ultimately are all designed for you to come to the realization that you are a magnificent being of light and love, a part of Source, here in a grand experiment to come back.

Now, taking time. . . .

Taking time, now, with that foundation means two things: one of them is taking time for yourself. At the beginning and end of a spiritual journey, that’s the number-one lesson, taking time for yourself. At the beginning of a spiritual journey, it’s the number-one lesson because you have spent so much of your life in this culture learning that taking care of yourself is selfish. You’ve got to think of others, you’ve got to do for them. They neglect to mention that you cannot give what you do not have, that when you are worn out, tapped out, unhappy and dysfunctional, you’re not going to be able to give anything but worn out, tapped out, dysfunctional teachings, help, to another.

One of the great, deep esoteric mysteries—we need sound that goes with this—is that you need to be what you want to become. You want to become a great teacher, then you need to teach yourself? You need to become what it is you are seeking by becoming what it is you are seeking. I promise you, that is a very deep statement there. And indeed many of you know that you could spend years teaching that.

Take time to know you, to know what you want, to know how you respond and react. Take time to know what you like and what you don’t like. Take time to be quiet, take time to laugh, take time to cry, take time to change your mind. Take time to know you. Take time for yourself.

At the beginning of a spiritual journey, you need to take time for you so that you can come to a place where you accept that there is something for you to do here, that you are enough and can do. You get to know yourself, and you begin a process of empowerment. Take time for you. But once that begins, you then need to take time for that which is not you. That which is not you on a spiritual level—a system of meditation, a bit of quiet time.

In this society it is not about having to take an hour to learn to quiet your mind and discipline it so that you can hold no thought. No. Where humanity is at this point, your mind is very active, it’s learning to focus that mind. It’s learning to be able to direct it and use it. It’s learning to be able to manifest what you want and what you need and what you are with that mind.

Take time for your spiritual self. The five-minute meditation is a perfect—if I may say so, and I did—a perfect place to start, to keep going in the middle and to put at the end. Any time you find yourself in a place in your life where you are off track, where you’re feeling out of kilter, any time that you find yourself at a place in your life in which you’re not fully aware of the relationship, the partnership, that you have with Source, go back to that five-minute meditation. The five-minute meditation—two minutes active, two minutes passive—you are giving, you are receiving and one minute that gets you settled into each of those.

Give yourself time, take time. One of the things that I recommend everybody do is a half-hour walk every day, with fifteen minutes of it in total silence. It’s not so easy for you in this world to have silence, but to have that silence when you are out on the earth, specifically doing something because you’re choosing, consciously, for it to be a part of your spiritual welfare. I’m going to go out. I’m going to take a half-hour walk. I’m going to be outside. You’re going to gain benefit of that. Fifteen minutes of it in quiet, and that means if you are walking the dogs, you are quiet during that time. If you pass your neighbors, you just smile. Fifteen minutes of quiet.

Take time. Take time to know yourself, take time to touch into the spiritual nature of yourself, and take time for others. Taking time for others, now that’s the one that gets you in a lot of trouble, isn’t it? Stuart.

Sometimes it’s hard to set boundaries.

S: Boundaries.

Knowing where to start and stop. And if you’ve been doing it for a period of time with this other person, then they have expectations that, if you decide to change, that they don’t like.

S: True. True.

And it’s a great way to justify not taking time for yourself in the first place.

S: Very good. Yes, that’s very true. That’s why I said taking time for yourself first. You cannot give what you do not have. Take time to recognize, to know, your spiritual connection. Take time for others. When you take time for others in your life—here is the key to not being run over by a Mack truck—when you are taking time for others in your life, know what it is you’re there for. That simple. Why am I having this conversation? Why am I going over to this house? Why am I in this relationship? Know what it is, what is the purpose. Determine your focus.

Now, generally speaking, your focus for everything that you do could be what?

Living love.

S: Say it again, louder, louder.

Living love.

S: To live love. Is this the most loving thing I could be doing? Samiel, let’s talk about that for a moment, Samiel, because you see I desire to live love in this world, but the people in this world take it wrong. They think that I’m being flaky or coming on to them, or they misunderstand or they take advantage. What is that living love about that’s so impractical?

Living love. Living love does not mean that you will know tomorrow what love is about. You know tomorrow what love is about because of what you experienced today. Don’t put off your life, don’t put off your love until you know everything there is to know and can do everything that there is to do to control it and yourself.

What love was to you yesterday is a whole different standard than what it’s going to be today, and tomorrow it will be different again. It’s different because you are constantly changing and what you know of love is also constantly changing. Love is kissing on the corner in downtown Lexington, right? Could be. Could be. But where I’m going with this one—rather quickly—is, love is a whole lot more than just the physical expression of hormones. Sometimes love says no. There is the love of lovers. There is the love of siblings. There is the love of a parent to a child. There is the love . . . what?


S: Friends.


S: Pets, sure. Which one of these expressions of love is the one that counts the most?


S: And you’re right. How about that? But tomorrow you will know differently.

If you were wanting to put into one quick and easy sentence how do you live love, if you were explaining to somebody what you are here to do is live love, what does that mean, what might you say?

I have to think about it. A lot of conscious thought is involved in . . . 

S: Conscious is a key there.

Yes, yes. And I’m very much aware of that. I think now as we accept that we are a part of All That Is, and looking out at the whole world, when it’s confusion and upset, and knowing that you are a part of this, and to send, consciously thinking, to send healing love and believing within yourself that you will have an effect, and we all feel this way so you’re not the Lone Ranger here, you’re a part of this powerful group that in turn magnifies that intention, I think that is the greatest thing that we can be doing.

S: And that is a very good answer. It’s a very good answer probably a couple of steps ahead, but that’s all right. That’s all right. It’s a good answer. Kathy.

To give what is needed at the time, see things differently.

S: That’s a real good version, too. To give what’s needed at the time, and to be open to realizing that every time it’s going to be different, because you are constantly evolving, changing, yes. Suzanne.

Living love for me is in every moment trying to do the very best I can, the very best in my communications with people, to communicate the most caring, the most love. And, like you say, the next day, I go, “Gee, I could have done that better,” so it changes almost every day.

S: Yes. Yes. Living love is a choice.

I see it as it starts with that foundation of recognizing that they are as much a piece of Source as we are, and so you reach to that commonality first, and from there, there’s a connection, an awareness of what love means at that moment with that person.

S: Recognizing the most basic commonality, the Source within you and you and you and me. Sure.

Put yourself in any situation and then ask the question, “What is the most loving thing that I think I can do right now?” The most loving thing right now may not be, as Suzanne, as Kathy, said, the same thing you come up with tomorrow. Get yourself out of the habit of looking back at what I could have done better, because that’s simply a way for a procrastinator to avoid doing their best and being their best right now. What is the most loving thing I can do right now? Define love. No! Don’t define love, it’s just the most loving thing you know right now.

Now, for a whole lot of you right now at this moment, it’s sitting quietly and pretending you’re having a good time. That’s good. I like that loving action. That’s good. Every moment you have a choice and that scares you. It is so much better to think it all happens to you than to recognize the power that you’re happening to it.

Living love is simply making the choice to do what you know as the most loving thing at that moment, at that time. The conscious part of that is what changes things. To others, time for others, what is the most loving thing right now? And back away from judging yourself with, “Well, that’s not going to be enough. This person needs so much more. I’m instead going to do all of these nice things for them.” And you get yourself stressed out, and you’re not meeting their needs; you’re meeting your needs. So, take time.

Second thing: adapt. Adapt. And adapt, because—as has been said several times already this evening—change happens, regularly. What you are today is not nearly as wonderful as what you’re going to be tomorrow. What you were yesterday is just a portion of what you are today. Everything in your life is constantly changing, and when that stops it means you’re dead. That’s how it works. You are here, everything changes. Adapt to that.

Matthew, would you do me a favor, love? Would you pick yourself up and go over to Frank? All right, thank you, love. What’s my point?

He did it.

S: It’s lovely of him. He did do it, that’s true. That’s nice. Anybody got an idea? Jennifer.

He was there, and then he was in another there.

S: Yes. Yes. Is he less Matthew over there?


S: And that’s because he’s next to Frank, is that the reason? Frank is sucking his life force right out of him. All right, that’s good. What else? He made a choice to take an action. He said yes. He said yes. Could he have said no?

It wouldn’t have been the most loving thing.

S: He said yes, and then he made a choice as to how he was going to see that through. Thank you, love.

As it is, he took a quick look around, found his goal, and went straight to it. All of that’s his choice. That’s so simple, isn’t it? He said yes. He saw it and he went there. Frank.

And there was a lot of adaptability there.

S: Getting there. Just a moment. Now, let’s do it again. Are you up for it again? Matthew, I would like for you to go back over to Frank. Would you do that? Thank you, love. Skip, stand up and get in his way. I gather he said no. So try it again. Steven, stand up and get in his way.

Come on back, Matthew. No, actually I said Skip. Come here, love. Nobody wants to get in your way and this is a good thing, remember that. You can go sit back down, that’ll work just fine. I think there could not have been a more perfect example for that very thing—adapting. All right, you’ve got your plan. Here is what you’re going to do and somebody else’s free will gets in the way. Now, were they purposefully trying to thwart me? Most of the time, yes, but just then? Were they purposefully trying to do that? Of course not.

You adapted well.

S: Long experience. As long as you are here, free will—yours and others—is going to have a very important place in your life. Because of free will you learn to adapt or you suffer. That’s it. You adapt or you suffer.

Adaptability might mean you think out of the box. It might mean you choose a different way of doing something, a different route to go. It might mean that you say no when you usually say yes. It might mean that you say yes when you always say no.

When you put what is the most loving thing together with adaptability, you have the beginning of success. You started the road right. When you put adaptability with the choice to do the most loving thing, you are moving toward success. That’s a good thing.

You have taken time, you have adapted, and after going through all of those positive things, I’m going to contradict exactly what I just said, and tell you now that one of things that will help you is to learn to say no. Saying no to people you care about, for whatever reason you care about them. It might not be you care about them because they are your children, it might be you care about them because they pay your rent, they give you a paycheck, they take care of your car or your dog, or . . . you care about them. When you are working with somebody you care about, ancient survival instinctual processes kick in. And those instinctual processes say, Fit in or die. They say, Don’t be different. They say, Stay like the crowd or die. Now that’s a pretty harsh thing to say, don’t you think? Why was that an instinctual process out of your deep, dark, Neanderthal past? Why?

Being alone was dangerous.

S: Being alone was dangerous. The bears would get you, that’s true.

Well, because if you care about them, they have something that you want, that’s giving you something, and that gets into security issues, because if you’re not getting what you want, or you see the potential for not getting what you want, then you go into a feeling of loss, so you go into protection.

S: So there are both ends of it. The before and the now. Back in the ancestry of the seed of human that you are, there is a part of you that knows there is strength in numbers. Don’t go off on your own; you’ll get hurt. If you get hurt, there will be nobody who can pick you up off of the stones and get you to the doctor. You must be careful. And that instinctual memory often turns you into an adult who spends all of your time pleasing people and making them happy so that they won’t cast you out to the side, so that you won’t be left out in the cold, so that the bears won’t come get you. Did you like that one?

And then there is the present-day version of that. Somebody I care about—as Lillibeth said—is probably somebody who has something you want. That’s why you care about them. Now, it’s true, many of you care about a whole lot of people from whom you want nothing. In fact, you care about them and you wish they would just leave you alone. But that’s a dysfunction that is another meeting altogether. We’re talking about the “I care about Heidi because . . . “ Why do I care about you, love?

I don’t know. I’m the most fabulous short person you know.

S: Because I just adore short beings. They are so much fun to tower over. I get something from that, so I like to have her around me, so I try to make her like me so that I can be around her. We’re back at that dysfunction, aren’t we? But that’s the kind of caring that, in the broad picture, comes into your life. It’s not only the caring because I love this person, they bring out the best in me and I in that person. It’s not only that. You care for a lot of people in your life because they’re giving you something you want.

And when it’s a healthy relationship, what they’re giving you is something you like about yourself. When it’s not a healthy relationship, they’re giving you something you don’t like about yourself, but truly and secretly believe. Maybe not so secretly. But because you care for that person, you don’t want to say no to them. So you give to them and you give to them and you give to them, and pretty soon that relationship is out of balance. You are giving to Heidi because you like feeling tall, but you’re not getting anything back from her. It’s very lopsided, and you start becoming aware, “I am giving and I am giving, and I am giving, and what is she giving back?”

She’s selling you short.

S: Well, you’re such a good group tonight. Most of you that is.

And you give without thinking because you’re after something you want, you care. You care so that you won’t die. You care so that you won’t die.

Learning to say no well—that was not learning to say no and well—learning how to well say no, does that work? No. She said “no” well. That’s next month. In your life, learning how to say yes and learning how to say no at the right times for the right reasons involves some of the most tricky negotiations that you do with yourself and others your whole life. Learning how to say no and how to say yes at the right time, for the right reason, to the right people. It’s tricky.

So what do you do? How do you know when you should say no. Well, I mentioned that thing about balance in a relationship. Ultimately, everything you do you do because you’re getting something from it. Hopefully, what you’re getting is something that’s positive and loving and good and makes you feel better about yourself and energizes you, but you know in this world, sometimes that’s not the case. Sometimes what you’re getting from somebody is “I believe that I’m a real failure and I keep this person around because they make me feel like a failure.”

Now, you probably don’t think it through that way. It’s only after years of therapy that your counselor has helped you see that you stick with that person because you like being a failure. Maybe you like being a failure. Why would somebody like being a failure? Frank, that was fast. What?

Maybe you don’t have to try and your reason is not being successful.

S: Because you don’t have to try, and you . . . I don’t think he’s quite finished yet, but do you want it? It’s all right, he can have it. Well, the front row, the front row is really on tonight, aren’t they? Say that again, Frank.

Because you don’t have to try, you don’t have to be responsible. You have reasons. If you do try and you fail, you’ve got an excuse because you’re a failure anyway.

S: There you go. Sure.

Then you’ve succeeded at being a failure.

S: There you go!

So what have you done?

S: It’s the great question of life really, isn’t it? If you succeed at being a failure, does that mean you’re a failure or a success? Again, different night. All right.

Shift your thinking for a moment. All right. Move it into a very serious place. Everything that you do, you do because it gives you something. If that gives you failure over and over and over, you need to look and figure out why it is it’s giving something you want. What is it about this I really want? Is it that it means I don’t have to try? It would be nice if it was always that simple. That’s why learning to say no is further down the track than taking time for yourself. Perhaps it’s a good thing going on in your life, a loving relationship, a good relationship, and it lets you know that you are loving and you’re worth it and you’re fun and it brings out good things in you, and you seek it.

You are looking for balance here. Is the giving and receiving functioning at about the same level? When you are giving more than you are receiving, what is it paying you to do that? If you are receiving more than you are giving, what is it paying you to do that? Why are you in an unbalanced relationship, because you will not be happy?

Happiness is the result of your loving and being loved. The consistency of your belief in how loving and lovable you are is going to have a lot to do with how you see your function in this world. If you see yourself as not enough, then you are constantly going to be probably giving more, trying to buy the approval, the love. Maybe not with dollars, maybe with cookies, maybe with . . . you fill in the blank there.

Learning to say no for the right reason. Learning to say yes for the right reason. Is this the most loving thing I can do right now will help you find that reason? That’s broken into three parts: is this the most loving thing I can do right now? Is this the most loving thing I can do—right now. Not, not now.

The balance in your life of giving and receiving is at this moment based upon what you believe you are worth. Balance is what you want.

Now, essentially I talked about three things tonight, in a whole lot of ways went round and around and around. And it was all centered on the idea that this is holiday season and there’s a lot of stress on you. And some of that stress comes from the expectations of family and you’re not living up to yourself or to them, or it’s a busy time and you are working and you are shopping and you are cooking and you are making everything right for everyone else. And I said that I was going to tell you simple, basic things that would make a huge difference.

Now, you realize, don’t you, that I did not give you the full truth, don’t you? Because they were easy only to say. They’re some of the hardest things you can do in your whole life. Take time for you. When is the last time you did that? What do you do when you take time for you? “Well, Samiel, really all I do is I go take a nap, because I am so exhausted, I cannot do anything else and any time I have a spare moment, I lay down, close my eyes and I’m gone.” Goodness gracious, darling, I’d say your probably “gived” out. What do you do for you? “Well, I don’t know because I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I like, I don’t know what I need.” Take time for you. Take time for your spiritual relationship.

What is the most loving thing I can do? That’s enough, that’ll work, right there. That’ll work. Consciously directing your life with that question, you’re going to be finding that the only thing that satisfies you is living love, and the reason that it’s the only thing that satisfies you is because it is ultimately that part of you that is Source. It’s what you do best. It’s what you are naturally. It really is all there is.

And take time for others, but in taking time for others it is imperative that you remember the second thing on the list, and that was?


S: Adaptability, yes. And I certainly will never forget the lessons in adaptability I received tonight. Matthew will explain it later.

And with that adaptability comes the final thing that you really need to take a little bit of the stress out of your life right now, to help you function more as the being of love and light and power that you are, and that is learn to say no, learn to say yes, at the right time, to the right person, for the right reason. And that reason, just in case in the skipping all around that we’ve done it got waylaid, the reason is because it is the loving thing to do. You’ve got it.

Yes, it is simple to say, but you know it’s not so simple to live. The world gets in your way, all those old patterns raise up their murky little heads, the beliefs that don’t necessarily work for you any more.

This year, give yourself a gift: give yourself you. You know we almost lost you this year. Spend some time finding out why you are so worth it, because you are. In all the worlds, there is nothing, no one, like you, and you in your unique power are here for a purpose. Listen to your heart. It tells you. It knows. And that purpose is to show that it can be done. Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have at the moment. It’s just that easy, it’s just that hard. Enjoy.